wife- paranoid or justified concern? - Page 6

The Sponge · #**151** 03-23-2012, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afkaa

I guess I am the only one that realizes Sponge is dead on right?

We both go out with strong smart women my brother. Most guys can't deal with that.

Trampled Underfoot · #**152** 03-24-2012, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hedgehog

better yet, show up at her office unexpectedly and maybe send her flowers to the office... this guy wants to fuck your wife...

It still hurts, huh?

BBB · #**153** 03-25-2012, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleedingpurple

I wasn't going to chime in but fuck it. I work with 90% women.

The text that has "you have awoken the beast" and "grrr" on it has you guys riled up and even "flirty." .

BBB did say the next text talked about work. The guy could be slacking off at work and she told him to get his ass in gear. Texts can be taken so way out of context. I would not be upset about those texts. I mean seriously if I was being flirty with a chick, I would not use those words in a text.

Were these two friends before they started working together or not? I have girl friends I have known before we started working together and have remained friends. Women who I have met at work text me for only one reason and its not to chit chat and I don't start texting women at work just to chit chat either.

I really don't trust the guy, but it sounds like you are on the right track with advice from Josh and Jack and a few others. I just don't think you can jump to conclusions by "grrrrr" "you have awoken the beast." If he was going to be flirty via text it would of been more obvious and direct.

JMO

well, I downloaded some text message extract software and got all her texts from the last year. Good news is, I dont see anything really alarming. She has worked with this guy since 2004. They are in the same department group, next cubical over. But for the past 3 years, they have been texting. A lot about work, some stuff outside of work but not much. Projects they are working on, inter office drama, where their workgroup is going for lunch, etc. Then there were a few photos of random stuff like when he wrecked his car, his wife was in the hospital, his golf score with his wife from a few weekends ago, etc. Recent texts were 2-3 about the bracket contest they have at work going on. I didnt see any late night texts either. Maybe a few around 8pm but rest were 8am-6pm during the week mostly.

Is this guy just in my wife's Friend Zone? I hear that when women put guys in there they are good friends, and nothing more. I mean my wife told him stuff about me 2-3 times in the past 3 weeks about "I told BBB (me) to get us this to work on this project at home" or "BBB and I are going to look at this this weekend" so she does bring me up a decent bit. And the guy did wish us a happy christmas, told her that he hoped we had a good weekend, etc. Weird, but nothing big.

Is there a software or something that will let me see her call logs from an Iphone 4s?

I mean a lot of this is probably because of me, or the lack of me being there the last 7 years of our marriage. I was not the best to her, not there emotionally for her, was there physically but nothing really more until recently. So I have to take some of the emotional disconnect blame if there is some. At least now this is a wakeup call and im making our marriage what is SHOULD have been.

ppabart · #**154** 03-25-2012, 01:07 PM

You really should let it go now. If there was going to be something to find...you would have found it right there with your snooping. just chalk it up to your own paranoia and the fact that even you yourself know that you weren't being the husband you used to be. Look at yourself and make some changes.

THE KOD · #**155** 03-25-2012, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ppabart

You really should let it go now. If there was going to be something to find...you would have found it right there with your snooping. just chalk it up to your own paranoia and the fact that even you yourself know that you weren't being the husband you used to be. Look at yourself and make some changes.

.................................................. .......

agree with all this

back the fawk off now BBB or you will be in a world of chit if she finds out you did not trust her and were checking on her

cover your tracks

hell has no fury like a woman scorned

been there done that

ppabart · #**156** 03-25-2012, 01:15 PM

Yep....you're right KOD. Ironically, she could be doing absolutely nothing wrong right now, but because BBB decided to take the route he did (and if his wife found out), she could end up doing exactly what he hoped she wasn't doing. Funny how that works huh?

THE KOD · #**157** 03-25-2012, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ppabart

Yep....you're right KOD. Ironically, she could be doing absolutely nothing wrong right now, but because BBB decided to take the route he did (and if his wife found out), she could end up doing exactly what he hoped she wasn't doing. Funny how that works huh?

.................................................. .....

we both have been around long enough to know that is exactly how it works.

to a woman if she is doing no wrong and you break her trust for any reason, they go off the deep end. Expecially if pregnant .

holy chit

ppabart · #**158** 03-25-2012, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE KOD

.................................................. .....

we both have been around long enough to know that is exactly how it works.

to a woman if she is doing no wrong and you break her trust for any reason, they go off the deep end. Expecially if pregnant .

holy chit

She will also assume that if you are checking into her.....a guilty conscience is what is making him check into her. So she'll automatically think that he's doing something he shouldnt be. Snooping is just not the way to go.

THE KOD · #**159** 03-25-2012, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ppabart

She will also assume that if you are checking into her.....a guilty conscience is what is making him check into her. So she'll automatically think that he's doing something he shouldnt be. Snooping is just not the way to go.

.................................................. ..........

yeh its called the double whammy

bart - I think we pretty much have this resolved

hope BBB takes the hints

hedgehog · #**160** 03-25-2012, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBB

well, I downloaded some text message extract software and got all her texts from the last year. Good news is, I dont see anything really alarming. She has worked with this guy since 2004. They are in the same department group, next cubical over. But for the past 3 years, they have been texting. A lot about work, some stuff outside of work but not much. Projects they are working on, inter office drama, where their workgroup is going for lunch, etc. Then there were a few photos of random stuff like when he wrecked his car, his wife was in the hospital, his golf score with his wife from a few weekends ago, etc. Recent texts were 2-3 about the bracket contest they have at work going on. I didnt see any late night texts either. Maybe a few around 8pm but rest were 8am-6pm during the week mostly.

Is this guy just in my wife's Friend Zone? I hear that when women put guys in there they are good friends, and nothing more. I mean my wife told him stuff about me 2-3 times in the past 3 weeks about "I told BBB (me) to get us this to work on this project at home" or "BBB and I are going to look at this this weekend" so she does bring me up a decent bit. And the guy did wish us a happy christmas, told her that he hoped we had a good weekend, etc. Weird, but nothing big.

Is there a software or something that will let me see her call logs from an Iphone 4s?

I mean a lot of this is probably because of me, or the lack of me being there the last 7 years of our marriage. I was not the best to her, not there emotionally for her, was there physically but nothing really more until recently. So I have to take some of the emotional disconnect blame if there is some. At least now this is a wakeup call and im making our marriage what is SHOULD have been.

At this point I would not say a word to her about it and start being there emotionally...

.women put you in the friends zone you ain't gettin any pussy, men accept the friend zone hoping they will change their mind

JOSHNAUDI · #**161** 03-25-2012, 01:42 PM

BBB · #**162** 03-25-2012, 02:01 PM

OK ok no more from me. I guess I just don't get why she texted him a pic of our daughter playing soccer at a game a few months ago that said "kicking butt on the field!". I mean she usually just does that to our family members, myself or her friends. But I guess if he is a really good friend at work they discuss each others kids. I mean Friday morning she texted him that our daughter had a meltdown and that she wouldn't be in the office until after lunch to spend time with her. But I guess if theywork together daily for the past 8 years he knows our daughters name. And then right after that text she texted me and let me know what happened with out daughter and that she was going to spend time with her that morning.

I just need to work on my relationship toward my wife.

BBB · #**163** 03-25-2012, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JOSHNAUDI

Yep I'm done. Thanks for the advice.

hedgehog · #**164** 03-25-2012, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBB

OK ok no more from me. I guess I just don't get why she texted him a pic of our daughter playing soccer at a game a few months ago that said "kicking butt on the field!". I mean she usually just does that to our family members, myself or her friends. But I guess if he is a really good friend at work they discuss each others kids. I mean Friday morning she texted him that our daughter had a meltdown and that she wouldn't be in the office until after lunch to spend time with her. But I guess if theywork together daily for the past 8 years he knows our daughters name. And then right after that text she texted me and let me know what happened with out daughter and that she was going to spend time with her that morning.

I just need to work on my relationship toward my wife.

be there for her emotionally going forward, it sounds like she hasn't done anything wrong to me...best of luck

ppabart · #**165** 03-25-2012, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hedgehog

be there for her emotionally going forward, it sounds like she hasn't done anything wrong to me...best of luck

Change of heart now huh? At least you're consistant

JOSHNAUDI · #**166** 03-25-2012, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBB

Yep I'm done. Thanks for the advice.

You're welcome - you do need to "quit" looking for wrong doings but the "quit" picture wasn't for you

You know what to do, Time for talking is done, time for action is now. Go get her BBB

Good Luck

bleedingpurple · #**167** 03-25-2012, 02:34 PM

Congratulations!

Now you have piece of mind!

ppabart · #**168** 03-25-2012, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleedingpurple

Congratulations!

Now you have piece of mind!

Actually....i think Hedgey has piece of mind....BBB should have peace of mind

BobbyBlueChip · #**169** 03-25-2012, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Sponge

We both go out with strong smart women my brother. Most guys can't deal with that.

You either both go out with strong smart women or those women were both attracted to little bitches with no spine. . . .it all depends on your point of view

bleedingpurple · #**170** 03-25-2012, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ppabart

Actually....i think Hedgey has piece of mind....BBB should have peace of mind

I eff up a little bit was typing so fast to get my horseshit picks in. I was already following Biskit and Heat by the time I saw your Kentucky Play

SixFive · #**171** 03-25-2012, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobbyBlueChip

You either both go out with strong smart women or those women were both attracted to little bitches with no spine. . . .it all depends on your point of view

The Boys · #**172** 03-25-2012, 05:37 PM

Wouldn't you rather talk about the Hilton.

Betone · #**173** 03-25-2012, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobbyBlueChip

You either both go out with strong smart women or those women were both attracted to little bitches with no spine. . . .it all depends on your point of view

I am thinking the little bitches with no spine is applicable here

hedgehog · #**174** 03-25-2012, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ppabart

Change of heart now huh? At least you're consistant

no, he checked it out found nothing so its time to move forward

ppabart · #**175** 03-25-2012, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hedgehog

no, he checked it out found nothing so its time to move forward

And you wouldn't feel guilty in the least? A relationship without trust isn't a relationship at all

hedgehog · #**176** 03-25-2012, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ppabart

And you wouldn't feel guilty in the least? A relationship without trust isn't a relationship at all

Nope, not at all...he is married, he had a feeling so he needed to check it out, found nothing just drop it

bleedingpurple · #**177** 03-25-2012, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hedgehog

Nope, not at all...he is married, he had a feeling so he needed to check it out, found nothing just drop it

I "gulp" agree with Hedgehog on this one. The guy is out of town and didn't feel good about the situation. He maybe could of gone another way to find out what was going on but I don't blame him for getting the reassurance.

Blitz · #**178** 03-26-2012, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ppabart

Actually....i think Hedgey has piece of mind....BBB should have peace of mind