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INTRODUCTION: Maybe I'm showing my age. To me, the name "Caesars Palace" still brings a certain mystique to mind amongst Las Vegas casinos. It is, or at least once was, what Rolls Royce is to motorcars and what Nieman-Marcus is to retail shopping. Class. Style. Elegance. Caesars is a name associated with a winner (never mind that the namesake, Julius Caesar was murdered in a political assassination 2,000 years ago). At one time, Caesars Palace was the class of the industry. As an all-inclusive resort, it set the standard for excellence amongst all casinos. No matter who you talked to -- Caesars was at the top of everyone's "must see" list. Secondary were all of those other properties -- such as the Flamingo Hilton, Sands, Desert Inn, and all the rest. In its heyday, Caesars was the Mirage, Bellagio, Mandalay Bay, and Venetian all wrapped up into one giant mega-casino adorned with water fountains out in front as the welcoming beacons of comfort and luxury. Today, those same water fountains look about as outdated at a pair of Nancy Sinatra's hot pants. The problem isn't that Caesars HAS changed. The problem is -- it HASN'T changed. HISTORY: Caesars was initially built in 1966 and immediately became a favorite hangout with the jet set, moviestars, and royalty. Within days of first opening, it seized most of the high-roller action and was the Vegas casino where gamblers not only came to play, but be seen. It was the first casino to market itself to international clientele and began to attract what became known as "whales." If a star was a hot commodity back in the 1960s and 1970s and came to Las Vegas for a visit, you can be sure he or she gambled in the main pit at Caesars Palace. If a rich Sheik came to Las Vegas to be wined and dined, he probably stayed at Caesars.
Perhaps Caesars most memorable historical moment -- certainly an event that put the famous fountains in the mind of everyone in America -- was the disastrous motorcycle jump attempted by Evil Knievel here back in 1968. I still remember the graphic images in my youth of the daredevil motorcyclist coming down hard on the ramp across the water fountains, his body hurling over the handle bars of his Harley-Davidson, and his torso crashing to the asphalt parking lot as a stunned and horrified crowd looked on. The moment his frail body plastered onto the cement, you were witnessing bones breaking, flesh burning, and a seeing a man instantly black out from pain and shock. How Knievel survived the Caesar's Palace disaster was in itself a marvel. But here we are today, remembering a moment frozen in time. And, it happened at Caesars. As Ceasars entered the 1980s, it launched a new age in the marketing of casino products and services, particularly to non-gamblers. The casino took advantage of its lofty status by launching a special line of clothing, new fragrances, and other products to the public who were eager to associate themselves with the winning name -- Caesars Palace. The casino also expanded into new markets including Lake Tahoe and Atlantic City (and later Indiana). It seemed, Caesars was on its way to becoming not just a casino, but a name associated with a lifestyle of fun and enjoyment. The casino also was revolutionary for other reasons. It was the first major establishment in Las Vegas to host world heavyweight boxing matches, right on site. No longer were the big title fights held at huge sports stadiums in New York and Chicago, but they would now take place in Las Vegas in much smaller venues such as Caesars Palace. In this respect, the casino executives who once ran Caesars Palace back twenty years ago were true visionaries who understood that by hosting a big prizefight, the entire casino would be lit up with action. As a result, Caesars hosted several world championship prizefights where boxers such as Larry Holmes and George Forman made sports history. Then, without warning -- everything changed. The "Brutus" was the advent of the big corporation. THE DEATH OF CAESAR: ACT II The casino was gobbled up in a corporate takeover, and the golden goose laying the golden eggs might was well have become a Thanksgiving turkey. Almost overnight, the property went from being THE top casino in the world to a second-class "has been." Park Place Entertainment bought the property. The five or so years since Caesar's has been taken over have been a textbook example of everything done and gone wrong. How in the world do you fuck up a name and reputation like Caesar's Palace? Ask the idiots on Wall Street who hired the buffoons to run the property from Park Place. If you want one single illustration to understand just how badly Caesar's has been mismanaged in recent years, you need look no further than the intersection of Flamingo Blvd. and The Las Vegas Strip. There at the heart intersection of what is the "Times Square" of Las Vegas -- bordered on one side by the Bellagio, Flamingo, Bally's, Paris, and the Mirage on the opposite side is -- not water fountains, nor a statue, nor even a big front door -- but that grand attraction sure to bring in guests from all over…………a massive construction site. That's right, a construction site sits at the epicenter of the gambling universe -- the busiest casino intersection in the world. A construction site. Wait. Let that sink in for a minute. Now, read on…. Okay, so improvements have to be made. We agree. But what Caesars has done is a crime, or at least should be considered a crime by anyone who holds stock in this property. For one, there is a huge eyesore of a wall constructed alongside the entire corner, that runs up and down the Strip and completely cuts off access from Flamingo Blvd (one of the busiest streets in the city). Not only are ALL cars blocked off from access to Caesars from Flamingo, but no pedestrian traffic can get into Caesars, unless you walk all the way to the front and take the escalator around the construction area (which runs only ONE WAY, of course). Then, there's another issue. Not one goddamned thing has happened on that construction site in at least TWO years. Maybe longer. I seem to recall it’s been something like FIVE years since we have seen access to the corner from Caesars. I'm testing my memory, but I recall the Dunes still being on the opposite corner the last time there was access from the intersection. Two years or five years, it doesn't matter -- that's GROSS mismanagement. Cement slabs and metal pipes. All this across an area as big as three giant football fields right at the heart of the busiest intersection in Las Vegas. Not a crane has been moved into place. Not a stone has been laid in at least two years. Never mind that all over town entire casino complexes have since been constructed in the time frame since Caesar's found itself with a thumb up its ass with this project. One of the world's most expensive pieces of real estate not only sits vacant and unproductive, it's a fucking eyesore! Imagine checking into Caesars and paying $185 a night for a suite. "Hey look honey, a big pile of cement." Casino Royale has a better view. A third of the hotel rooms look out and what do they see? Not fountains, not trees, not a casino -- but an idle construction site. What are these fools who run Caesar's Palace thinking? Okay, okay. I know what happened and think I understand why the clusterfucks haven't put up a few trees along the path or at least put up a hot dog stand -- ANYTHING to make this area more palatable to the exclusive clientele this casino is seeking to attract. The reason is because of poor planning and an appalling LACK of vision on the part of executives. CELINE TO THE RESCUE: In this 2-5 years lapse, Caesars had to construct a new arena specifically for singer Celine Dion. Wise move. Bring in a top entertainer. Sign her to an exclusive deal for a couple of years. And, reap the rewards in the pit and with hotel revenues, and so forth. The Hilton did it with Elvis and Streisand. The Sands did it with the Rat Pack. Now, Caesars hopes to cash in on Dion bringing "A New Day" to the property that once was the light of day in gaming. No problem with that plan -- except one thing. Celine and Company get to keep ALL the gate receipts from the concerts. 100 percent. That's right, Caesar's doesn't make a dime off of her shows. She will probably sell out every show in the arena every night for the next two years, a ticket which costs more than ANY OTHER SHOW in the HISTORY of Las Vegas. Try $200 to $300 a ticket multiplied by 2,500 seats. Do the math on that one. Yeah, nice numbers. No wonder she quit touring to take the Vegas gig. Caesars Palace sure better hope the croissant-eating tourists who come to see Dion's show are also ready to dust off $300 a head in the pit every night -- enough to make up the vig on this extravaganza. My advice -- don't count on it. I'll bet the DON'T. Not that I don’t like and respect Celine Dion as a performer and singing star. She was a great choice so far as an exclusive engagement goes. But how in the hell can executives at this casino, or any property, not only construct a $50 million stadium exclusively for her, but also be so goddamn dumb that they don’t get a slice of the gross? My guess is these buffoons will all be out of their jobs, get golden parachutes within a year or two while some other corporate whore gets hired by the Board and has to come in and clean up this mess the predecessors left behind. Typical corporate America. (SIDE NOTE: All of the dates, figures, etc, in this review are off the top of my head -- so I am not exactly sure of the cost of the arena). My bottom line………Caesars Palace is the poster property for GROSS mismanagement. Anyone who was associated with this property as an executive over the last ten years deserves to be standing on a street corner with a sign around his neck and eating out of a dumpster for what they have done to what was the gem of Las Vegas casinos. Complete dumb shits is what they are. All that said, what I am about to write might surprise a few readers. ABOUT THE SPORTSBOOK: I am actually a big fan of the Caesars Palace sportsbook. In fact, I rated this as one of the best casino sportsbooks in Las Vegas in my column in Casino Player (June 2003) -- with several good reasons. First, Caesar's was truly a pioneer in the industry. It was one of the first casinos to recognize the importance of the sports gambling market. It built a large sportsbook just for gamblers and sports fans alike, with all the games put up on giant screens. This might not seem important now. But thirty years ago when satellite technology first made the concept of a big sportsbook possible, there were some who "invested" in sports gambling and made things easier for sports gamblers, and some properties that looked at sports gamblers as pariahs. Caesars, to its credit, deserves our respect because they not only catered to sports handicappers but did all of this in contrast to the image they were promoting so many years -- the wealthy upscale gambler. That took guts. Today, Caesars ranks among the most comfortable sportsbooks in Las Vegas -- with plenty of big screens and a very amiable staff. On more than a few occasions I have witnessed staff at this sportsbook go out of their way to help novice gamblers with information in a way that is not intimidating or condescending (contrast this with the Mandalay Bay disaster -- read prior review) towards the customer. The seating here is outstanding, with plenty of lounge-style chairs spread throughout the area. Best of all, there are round tables with smaller TV screens just for sports gamblers (the only casino that I know of which has TV screens for sports fans, not just horse racing fans). So, you can watch the games in comfort, with your own private TV, in one of the most luxurious sportsbooks in the city. Not a bad way to spend an NFL Sunday, or a day watching the NBA playoffs. Cocktail service here is also excellent. One minor complaint is that the comp system is tied into "points" accumulated, and sports betting is not given much weight when cashing in the complimentaries (a situation which is by no means unique to Caesars -- but is indicative of an industry-wide lack of regard for our business). Okay, call me a cheapskate -- but if I can prove that I lost $1,500 betting games today, I want a comp to the buffet. Maybe it's just me. Another minor issue is that the sportsbook is VERY inaccessible to the public. This casino obviously does not want "in and out" traffic. They want the brainless tourists who flood in from the hotel and the Caesars Forum shopping mall to drop in and make all the sucker bets. Driving in, valet parking, and getting to the sportsbook takes 15 minutes or longer -- that is, if you can find your way in a maze through all the tourists. Again, I suspect this is by design -- that Caesars doesn’t want pros and sharps rotating in and out of the sportsbook. Aside form these annoying issues, bottom line is -- this is a gem of a sportsbook trapped inside of the most mismanaged casino in the world. Hopefully, the stiffs up in the executive office will leave the sportsbook alone while they hope and pray Celine Dion can sing Caesar's out of debt and return this casino to the glory days left behind many years ago. It's a good thing Evil Knievel isn't young enough to try his motorcycle stunt today. Given the way things work around Caesars Palace, it would take executives at least five years just to figure out what to do with the squirming body and all the broken motorcycle parts.
ATMOSPHERE: B COMFORT: A TV SCREENS: B STAFF: B+ COMMITTED TO SPORTS GAMBLING: C+ OVERALL: B+
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