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View Poll Results: Should marine take it in the crapper?

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  • Yea dude.. suck it up and the end result will be worth it

    68 54.40%
  • NO WAY! Yer gonna DIE! Save your manhood!

    57 45.60%
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  1. #1
    poker brat
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    SEX info and advice wanted!

    Ok madjackers...
    Every so often i tease the ole lady about nailing her in the crapper and giving her a slap on the ass and laughing about it. Half serious... half joking... mainly just looking to get a reaction out of her for shits and grins.

    So yesterday on the phone she tells me that if i let HER get a strap on and nail me in the crapper, she will in turn spread cheeks and let me mark my rightful turf!

    I kinda wanna do it to her... just cuz, well... I never have before and she is probably the last chance I will ever have. But is it worth the reciprocation?
    Do I do it?
    I have had a finger or two up the ole bunghole before...no big deal... the doctors office and what not.

    So maybe all you freaky liberal p*ssies can tell me what it is like to take it in the crapper and if I should let her try it....

    Open to suggestions.

    and good dr. freeze... I anxiously await to see you in this thread...
    21 March 2008 - I cried a little tear of happiness today while punching my K-bar through a basketball.

  2. #2
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  3. #3
    laker hater ussrv's Avatar
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    Man I almost pissed my pants reading this. Wow too funny.

  4. #4
    Trustee BobbyBlueChip's Avatar
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    I feel awful for two hours after taking a good-sized dump, so I can't imagine that that would feel any better.

    Not a good trade-off at all in my opinion.

    Maybe S-Love would have a more informed opinion.

  5. #5
    Thread banned Penguinfan's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Thread banned Penguinfan's Avatar
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    Re: SEX info and advice wanted!

    Originally posted by marine
    I have had a finger or two up the ole bunghole before...no big deal... the doctors office and what not.

    What not?????????

  7. #7
    ad interim... TORONTO-VIGILANTE's Avatar
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    Re: Re: SEX info and advice wanted!

    Originally posted by penguinfan
    What not?????????
    damn man, you beat me to that one....!!!

    sure marine, doctor's office...yeah, that's it.

    Here's a piece of advice given by BEANTOWNJIM:

    "...the male's g-spot is in his sphincter...."

    (remember, i'm just quoting him)
    "I've dumbed down for my audience and doubled my dollars, then they criticize me for it yet they all yell holler."

    (¯`ˇ._.ˇ[JAY-Z:The Final Project: The Black Album]._.ˇ´¯)

  8. #8
    Registered User Mickstr68's Avatar
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    I simply cannot believe that this question was posed by Marine!

    No way!

  9. #9
    S-Love
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    Bobbie- maybe your craps wouldn't hurt so bad if you were to have your proctologist remove all the broken Lee press-on nails from your rectum. And tell your boys to use a stronger adhesive!

    Sorry can't help with the strap-on question- maybe Bobbie's fiance can recommend a satisfying one

  10. #10
    Fish Head Chopsticks's Avatar
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    Go for it!!!! That should help keep your marriage going strong; at least sexually. Let her play a couple rounds of BUTT DARTS with ya. You guys can alternate giving the monkey the banana. If ya do this, ya gotta come back and tell the rest of the fellas what it's like. Best of luck.
    I've got the wok if you've got the dog.

  11. #11
    poker brat
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    yea... well... lock yourself in a hotel room in white trash-ville USA for 3 weeks and see where your mind runs!!!
    All I do is sit here and look at porn and watch tv and twiddle my diddle.

    I did some slight research and from what I can tell it doesn't really HURT anything that would cause problems...
    I even saw a few pictures of "in action" shots at various adult websites... everybody sure does look like they are having a good time with it. haahaha

    as for the "what not" comments...

    Don't tell me you have never been laying pipe while on top of a sweet lil girl and she reached around and popped a finger in yer sphincter!

    or,
    Hasn't every laid down on their backs in front of a woman and strummed the guitar and right before you "hit that high note" she jams a thumb in yer pooper!

    christ... admit it guys... it happens to all of us.

    doesn't it?

    Also, if i do get to stick it to the wifey... will I have poop on my schnocker when I am done and pull out? I think that would be pretty gross.
    21 March 2008 - I cried a little tear of happiness today while punching my K-bar through a basketball.

  12. #12
    Registered User THE KOD's Avatar
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    marine

    I voted no.

    Once you go crap you never go back.


    KOD
    Everyone has a plan, until they get hit.
    / Mike Tyson

  13. #13
    Registered User THE KOD's Avatar
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    Originally posted by marine
    Also, if i do get to stick it to the wifey... will I have poop on my schnocker when I am done and pull out? I think that would be pretty gross.
    .................................................. ..

    marine

    lets think about this. Is there the possibility of poop being on your snocker ?

    Hmmm shithole, place where all poop comes from, hmmmm

    naww but maybe you will have some chili with beans on your snocker and you can scrape them off and have them for lunch the next day.

    KOD
    Everyone has a plan, until they get hit.
    / Mike Tyson

  14. #14
    Registered User Palmetto Pimp's Avatar
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    LMOA at this thread

    It isnt worth it Marine I would even think twice about it

    My advice is to get her drunk enough one night so shell try it or work out another deal with her. When doin her from behind slowly slideyour finger up there and see what she thinks. lol
    Any yes you can get a lil brown on yourself but who cares.

  15. #15
    Registered User ageecee's Avatar
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    This is probably the funniest thread i have read EVER................


    My vote would be Yes let her do it although i have never had it done to me..

  16. #16
    I say You should do it ! AND....DO it to while playing " The Arrowhead Chant " that was in the other thread...

    OHHHHHHHHH.oh .oh.oh .oh



  17. #17
    Registered User beantownjim's Avatar
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    WHAT THE F-CK AM I READING HERE MARINE ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT TO TAKE IT UP THE ARSE TO FIND OUT IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT AND YOU WANT SCOTTY FROM ATLANTA I MEAN YOUR WIFE TO DO IT TO YOU.ARE YOU FOR REAL MAN THIS THREAD SHOULD BE LOCKED RIGHT AWAY.IT LOOKS TO ME MARINE LIKE YOU ARE A HOMO YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO GET BONED UP THE ARSE AND THEN YOU WANT TO BANG YOUR WIFE UP THE ARSE THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM YOUR TRYING TO FIND YOUR MANLY SIDE I THINK YOUR QUEER.DO YOU ALSO WATCH MENS FIGURE SKATING MARINE AND THINK ABOUT BONING RUDY GALENDO UP THE ARSE OR IS IT ONLY WITH YOUR WIFE WOW THIS IS ONE SICK DUDE.YOUR LUCKY YOU GOT OUT OF THE MARINES BEFORE THE (DONT ASK DONT TELL QUESTIONS CAME UP OTHERWISE YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DISCHARGED FOR BEING A HOMO) IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO GET BONED UP THE ASS MARINE GO TO ANY LOCAL Y.M.C.A. AND BEND OVER FOR THE SOAP IN THE SHOWER ROOM I CANT BELIEVE I JUST READ THIS SHIT

    ANYBODY WHO DOESNT THINK THERE IS RACISM IN THIS COUNTRY IF YOUR GAY BROTHER WAS DATING MICHELLE JACKSON,RUPAUL,LITTLE RICHARD,OR OUR MARINE WHO WOULD YOU WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS BEND OVER MARINE AND GIVE ME ANAL SGT. FAG

  18. #18
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  19. #19
    Registered User Captain Crunch's Avatar
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    This is to funny. I am trying to think of what audio would be good to embed into this thread, but I haven't come up with any yet. Any suggestions, I will see what I can do.

    The Arrowhead chant scared Jack so I will refrain from using that one!!!!!!
    Age is like mind over matter, if they don't mind, it don't matter!!!!!

    Satchell Paige

  20. #20
    Banned fletcher's Avatar
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    I had to take almost 10 mins to read this thread was laughing so hard my side hurt and had tears in my eyes. Felt like i was back in college smoking the cronic

    I would have to pass on that one it is a exit not a entrance

    HELL SHE COULD COME HOME WITH A 10 INCHER AND SPLIT YOUR STAR FISH

    STILL LAUGHING

  21. #21
    :-?PipeSmokin' Chanman's Avatar
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    A) Just remember to kiss her afterwards
    B) I didn't know your surname was Greek
    C) Thats a steep fee on the tollbooth for the Hershey Highway
    D) At least draw the line at Golden Showers
    "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"

  22. #22
    who? Kdogg21's Avatar
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    and if she named the strap on "Big Black" your in real trouble

  23. #23
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    Wow, I haven't been around lately and the first thread I read is about Marine making fudge pops...Beanie boy was funny but everybody knows he's a homophobe. Make sure you get to pick out the size of the dildo and you should get some odds.
    For every time you take it up the rump you get to give it to her 3 times. Just think of this symbol as a reminder for the odds:
    I need to visit Mj's more often. When I do, I'll change this signature

  24. #24
    Registered User ferdville's Avatar
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    I am pretty liberal sexually, but I would draw the line at this exchange. Heterosexual men should not take it up the azz. I know that is prejudcial, hypocritcal and politically incorrect. I urge you to say no. You might tell her that if you really liked it, it may cause you to explore options there...that may scare her away.
    "The trouble with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money."
    Margaret Thatcher

  25. #25
    poker brat
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    One thing that I just CAN NOT figure out.. looking at pictures and stuff on the websites... like a chick drilling another chick or something...(in the crapper) they will show it like half in and half out... but it is PERFECTLY CLEAN! How how how! How do they do it?
    Insert it into the poop area... pull it out... its just like sticking yourfinger in a jar of peanut butter! SOMETHING has to come back out!

    And what if it really hurts when she does it? I mean... I guess I would have totake it doggy style and swallow the pride... but what if it hurts so much Icry? Will my wife think I am a sissy?
    I can just see and hear her taunting me 20 years down the road when we sit on the porch and drink lemonade...
    "Hey, remember when i popped yer can and youcried like a lil girl?"

    One thing I just thought of that might make it a cleaner procedure is an enema. Anybody ever done one of those before? But then again.. how do youget in a romantic mode after jamming a garden hose nozzle up yer pooper?


    What kind of mood/scene should I set in the bedroom?
    Do I go with soft music and candles before I get it hard and deep?
    Or do I go with Nine Inch Nails and put red lights on the lamps and throw steel chains around the bedposts?

    The bad part working against me here guys is that she got accidently poked once when she was younger by somebody and she said it hurt and wah wah wah... so if i ever "accidently" tried it... Iwould suffer dearly in the long run.

    But all you guys that have popped the can... was it good? Feel any different? Thats what I wanna know! Not, if its gonna hurt when Itake it.. I wanna know if it is really worth it for me to get pleasure... pleasure from other than my prostate massage.



    AND who can tell me what "givingn the monkey a banana" means?
    21 March 2008 - I cried a little tear of happiness today while punching my K-bar through a basketball.

  26. #26
    who? Kdogg21's Avatar
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    I think it is preety good. You can feel a little bit of a difference, but man if she is gonna say you get it before her, screw it, it aint worth it. But if you do go threw it, my wife sells sex toys, I can try to find something that won't hurt that much. She wanted to know if i wanted to try it up my ass, i said hell no. all in all i think it feels good though to bang her in the ass

  27. #27
    Registered User DR STRANGELOVE's Avatar
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    Jesus Murphy, I can't believe what I just read...tears are streaming down my face from laughing so hard.


    I think that this is just a dream, I will check back tomorrow to make sure.

  28. #28
    BIG12 KING dr. freeze's Avatar
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    you have two options:

    1. If you enjoy assuming a bent over position with your elbows on the table and having Dr. Freeze probe around you need a huge tube of lube, some morphine and an appointment with an internist and psychiatrist the next day

    2 DO NOT TAKE IT UP THE ASS BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT AND I GUARANTEE YOU IT WILL AFFECT YOUR PSYCHE SEXUALLY FROM HERE ON OUT AND SEX WITH YOUR WIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AND YOU COULD DEVELOP ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS....regardless -- even if you do not develop all kinds of problems -- you will always have this incident in the back of your mind and it could harm your functioning as a man in the future

  29. #29
    Registered User DR STRANGELOVE's Avatar
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  30. #30
    Registered User DR STRANGELOVE's Avatar
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    Geez, this is real.

    marine, what got in to you man? You need to get your ass back home son.

    If you do decide to go with the idea, just make sure not to tell the guys if you know what I mean. LOL

    Will you be making a home video?

    LMAO

    I could just see your face on America's funniest home video's


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