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  1. #1
    Jack's Mentor Sportsaholic's Avatar
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    Hunting & Fishing Joke of the Day.....

    3 deer hunters

    Dave and Bubba took Dave's city boy cousin, Ken, hunting one time. It was Ken's first time hunting but Dave and Bubba grew up hunting. Dave advised his cousin that the rut was pretty much over so he should "Find and follow the tracks. Once you see one, shoot him. If you kill one, just drag it back to the cabin."

    The next morning, Dave and Bubba got up at 4:00 AM with no problem. They had a little trouble getting Ken to wake up, but finally they were all awake and ready to go hunting. They picked up their rifles and headed out. Later in the day, 2 shots were heard. Bubba approached from the east dragging a nice big buck while Dave drug his in from the south. Bubba grinned at Dave and said "Where'd you get that?" Dave replied, "Saw some tracks and followed 'em. Saw the buck and shot him. You?" "Saw some tracks and followed 'em. Saw the buck and shot him." replied Bubba. They set to work and dressed out the deer. As the day wore on, there was no sign of Ken. As dusk approached they got worried. Finally they got their flashlights and began to search for him. They finally found him. He was bruised, bloody and had scars all over him.

    "What happened?" they asked.

    He replied, "Well, I found some tracks and followed them, but then the stupid train hit me!"



  2. #2
    Jack's Mentor Sportsaholic's Avatar
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    Ten common fishing expressions explained

    1) Catch and Release: This is a conservation term that happens right before the local Fish and Game Protection Officer stops your boat when you have caught over the limit.

    2) Hook: (i) A small curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (ii) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (iii) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings [see also, right hook, left hook].

    3) Line: Something you give your colleagues when they ask on Monday how your fishing went over the weekend.

    4) Lure: An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.


    5) Reel: A weighty object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

    6) Rod: An attractively painted length of fibreglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

    7) School: A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your £15.99 [$USD30] lures and hold out for bread instead.

    8) Tackle: What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

    9) Tackle Box: A box shaped amazingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get an elastoplasts [band aid], you soon find that you need more than one.

    10) Test: (i) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (ii) A measure of your creativity in blaming 'that flippin' line' for once again losing the fish.




  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sportsaholic View Post
    3 deer hunters

    Dave and Bubba took Dave's city boy cousin, Ken, hunting one time. It was Ken's first time hunting but Dave and Bubba grew up hunting. Dave advised his cousin that the rut was pretty much over so he should "Find and follow the tracks. Once you see one, shoot him. If you kill one, just drag it back to the cabin."

    The next morning, Dave and Bubba got up at 4:00 AM with no problem. They had a little trouble getting Ken to wake up, but finally they were all awake and ready to go hunting. They picked up their rifles and headed out. Later in the day, 2 shots were heard. Bubba approached from the east dragging a nice big buck while Dave drug his in from the south. Bubba grinned at Dave and said "Where'd you get that?" Dave replied, "Saw some tracks and followed 'em. Saw the buck and shot him. You?" "Saw some tracks and followed 'em. Saw the buck and shot him." replied Bubba. They set to work and dressed out the deer. As the day wore on, there was no sign of Ken. As dusk approached they got worried. Finally they got their flashlights and began to search for him. They finally found him. He was bruised, bloody and had scars all over him.

    "What happened?" they asked.

    He replied, "Well, I found some tracks and followed them, but then the stupid train hit me!"



  4. #4
    Administrator . MadJack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sportsaholic View Post
    3 deer hunters

    Dave and Bubba took Dave's city boy cousin, Ken, hunting one time. It was Ken's first time hunting but Dave and Bubba grew up hunting. Dave advised his cousin that the rut was pretty much over so he should "Find and follow the tracks. Once you see one, shoot him. If you kill one, just drag it back to the cabin."

    The next morning, Dave and Bubba got up at 4:00 AM with no problem. They had a little trouble getting Ken to wake up, but finally they were all awake and ready to go hunting. They picked up their rifles and headed out. Later in the day, 2 shots were heard. Bubba approached from the east dragging a nice big buck while Dave drug his in from the south. Bubba grinned at Dave and said "Where'd you get that?" Dave replied, "Saw some tracks and followed 'em. Saw the buck and shot him. You?" "Saw some tracks and followed 'em. Saw the buck and shot him." replied Bubba. They set to work and dressed out the deer. As the day wore on, there was no sign of Ken. As dusk approached they got worried. Finally they got their flashlights and began to search for him. They finally found him. He was bruised, bloody and had scars all over him.

    "What happened?" they asked.

    He replied, "Well, I found some tracks and followed them, but then the stupid train hit me!"



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