whats up guys,gotta tell u my vegas vacation horror,this was last may,me and my girlfreind went to vegas for 10 days,( now as u know i already broke 2 rules before we even got to the airport ) 1. never bring your old lady to vegas. 2.never go to vegas for more then what guys 6 or 7 days right?... ok here we go.. by the way were from upstate new york and we never been to vegas,either 1 of us..( im 33 shes 31 ) ok we get there,were staying at the mirage,as soon as we get there shes beat shes wants to lay down for an hour..not me,i flew down stairs and dropped a fin in 20 minutes on blackjack..so right back upstars i go... shes like i thought u were going to play..i told her it was too busy thinking to myself "oh boy,not a good start" by the way i brought about 6500 with us down there.. so for the first 3 days we checked out the strip and did our thing.. gambled, walked,gambled and walked some more..4 days in we rented a car which we had planned to do white water rafting and to rent a jetboat...we did the jetboat first,we get there and i thought this place was right on the water..( LAKE MEAD ) come to find out its about 2 miles from the water..anyways we get there and the freaking guy says ok,pull your truck up to the boat,me and my girl are looking at eachother knowing i never towed a boat in my life not to mention drive 1... i pull the fawking truck up and the guy goes wheres your tow ball ( i looked at him like he was fawked ) lol.. now, i reserved this on the internet so we never really talked.. so he goes youll have to take my blazer. and he says the thing doesnt have that much getty-up so be patiant,not to mention its a standered... at this time my girl is pissing her pants on the ground.. guys,this was the ugliest fawking yellow blazer ive ever seen.. so,we get in this piece of chit and we go,i must say,the jetboat was mint.. as were heading to lake mead it was a cinch,all down hill.. ok,we get to the water,i get the boat in the water and off we go.. i must say lake mead was phenominal,it was great..about an hour in,i said fawk it,lets dock this baby on a baby sand beach and :142hump: do are thing and smoke 1,, so i ancor the boat in the sand... after we do our thing,we just relaxed in the sun and took some rays..then the wind kicked up and started throwing sand around..i wake up and tell her lets go.. now guys,we only seen maybe 1 boat the whole 2 hours we were out there,anyways we wake up AND I LOOK>THE FAWKING BOAT IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE!! she goes "GET IT" so i dive in,( ITS EARLY MAY REMIND U,THE WATER IS ABOUT 47 DEGREES )not to mention i smoke 2 packs of ciggerattes a day.. so i dive in,as soon as i dive in my shorts flew right off,( lmfao) i swim,backstrouk,a$$holes and belly buttons,guys im not even kidding u,it took me about 15 minutes to get to the boat.. so i finally get to the fricking thing AND I CANT GET IN,im too tired and purple,now me and the boat are on the oppisit side of lake mead that my girl was,NOW HERE COMES THE WORST PART,doesnt a fawking cruiser come by with about 20 people on it and here i am hanging my pure white-no-tan-a$$ on the side of the boat.. i have never been more embarrassed in all my life..i finally get in the fawking thing get my shorts and pick her up.."WHAT A NIGHTMARE GUYS,IM TELLING U" so i put the fawking boat on the trailer and we head back to drop this thing off.. what took us 10 minutes to get down there ended up taking an hour to get back,all up hill,this fricking piece of chit blazer would'nt go past 2 miles per hour"PEDDLE TO THE FAWKING METAL" "UN_BULL_LEVE_ABLE.. so i finally i get the thing back,at this time im DYING of thirst,were starving,now were supposed to drive to HOOPALA INDIAN LAND or some chit for the white water rafting trip and spend the night.. guys,dont we get fawking lost ( LOL ) what was only supposed to be an hour and a half drive turned into 4 hours,at this time me and her are at eachothers throughts,,,( CHIT GUYS<I GOTTA TAKE A BREAK ) ive been typing forever....ill be back with the rest of this horrid vacation.....believe me it gets worse,WAY WORSE>>>
let me tell u why vegas was my worst vacation of my life
- Thread starter Trossi3389
- Start date
ok,so we get to this hoopalah indian motel/hotel joint eat,sleep, we wake up the next morning and were ready for the white river rafting trip,first off guys,this aint cheap it was about 575 bucks for the both of us... ( by the way i was still shaking my head because of the day before ) now,i look outside and they got a school bus outside,we jump on,we took the BUMPIEST FAWKING RIDE TO THIS PLACE,( JUST HORRID ) "my head still hurt from the day before now this chit, i think its the colorodo river im not sure, anyways,we finally get there,theres about ten wooden rafts there with 1 indian guide for each raft.... they put 3 couples per raft,our indian guy was cool as hell,now guys,this is a whole day tour,not half day... so we go,"FROZE OUR FAWKING A$$E$ OFF, evreyone was wearing wetsuits but me and my old lady... guys,FAWKING CHICKEN SKIN...i must say,the people told me "IT MIGHT BE COLD" and i said to myself,im from n.y they dont know what cold is...( YEAH RIGHT,what a smuck i am ) allright now im getting the fawking evil eyes from the old lady..( LIKE I NEED THIS CHIT ).so,long story short we get to the end of this thing,, now here we go:it stated on the internet that u can either fly by helicoptor or boat to get back to the bus...NO,ONLY BY HELICOPTOR,,,they fawking discontinued the boat... me and my old lady were just saying to each other "how does a boat get us back" WE KNOW WHY NOW" GUYS,SHE FAWKING WIGGED...BAAAAAADDDDD..."JUST HISTARICAL"not to mention i never flew on 1 either" it took ten of us and an hour later to get her on this fawking thing!!!! "I WANTED TO KILL HER"
im beat guys,ill be back with the final part tomarro....
im beat guys,ill be back with the final part tomarro....
Lmao, sorry to laugh but that story is funny. Especially like the part about your commenting about NY and the cold. :scared
Was just "surfing" MadJacks and came across your story. All I can say is that it was hilarious! Maybe it should be made into a movie. Can hardly wait for the sequal. By the way, I usually go to Vegas with the guys. In this way, we can do our thing without any hassles from the wives. Believe me, that's the best way to go.
GM
GM
( LOL ) ok,so like i said,it took 10 of us and an hour to get her on this thing,by the way the 2 couples we went with were not very talkitive,as a matter of fact they were fawking mutes... and now i got the wifes hugging my old lady practically begging her to get on this thing.. BELIEVE ME>>THESE PEOPLE HATED US!!!! so we get on this thing..now,im gonna be honest with ya guys..( IM NOT BUILT FOR THIS CHIT EITHER ) i was ready to hypervenalate,but u know us guys,we gotta hide that shit.... we get back to where the bus dropped us off..but theres NO BUS..because of my old lady not getting on this thing for over an hour it left...but no,we got to take a FAWKING STATION WAGON back,,, ( im thinking to myself the fawking bus was a nightmare,i cant imagine what this is gonna be like ) these people with us already hated our fawking guts now there stuck with us in this thing....we pile in,2 indians in the front,,guess who had to sit way in the back??? u guessed it my a$$ indian styel bangging my head off the fawking ceiling...( WHAT A NIGHTMARE ) we head back, bang,boom..( UNBELIEVABLE ) here i am thinking im JOE COCAIN with limos dropping us of at the airport,nice suits,mint hotel at the strip which i blew a night due to this chit,big fat wad of cash,and now i feel like im at boot camp in afganistan...my old lady is a wreck...all i can do is shake my head....( JUST SICK ) OH YEAH,not to mention i got to have the rental car back by midnight..the truck is 3.5 hours back to the strip,and im ready to jump a bridge!!!!!we finally get back to the motel,we take showers getting ready to go back..as shes in,( U NOW WOMEN,SHE TAKES 3 FAWKING HOUERS TO GET READY ) i figured i run out to the truck to get the map to get a jump to get back..ok were ready to leave,DONT I LOCK THE FAWKING KEYS IN THE FAWKING TRUCK!!! ( LMFAO ) unreal,when i left with this thing it only had 127 miles on it,now i got 6 indians eating burritos trying to get in this fawking thing...me and her are on the front step of this place just looking at each other in total shock.. hour later and 100 scratches later they get it opened...its close to 9 0'clock and i got to have this thing back by midnight...i dont,but they let me slide anyways... they knew not to fawk with us,,,AMEN..we get back to the mirage ( PRAISE GOD ) now all we got left is the DANNY GANS SHOW and full boared gambling...now guys,i play at casino niagra all the time,i usually break even,a little more a little less...i could'nt hit a skid of cards for my fawking life,,u could of put me in the dealer position and id still get smoked.. her either,she plays slots,
ill be back guys,gotta take a break,getting back home was a horror story in itself...........were at the end though....
ill be back guys,gotta take a break,getting back home was a horror story in itself...........were at the end though....
ohhh,im not done yet guys,ill take you to the last night we were there before we had to hit the airport the following morning...we did the danny gans show<<"WHICH WAS AWSOM,IF U NEVER SEEN THIS GUY,GO SEE HIM"..get back to the hotel..overall,we lost our fawking a$$e$ down there!!!!now im thinking "IM RUNNING TO THAT FAWKING AIRPORT"the only thing i won down there was a fawking big stuffed animal bull at circus circus..( which i named RAGE )i maybe had about 250 bucks left to my name...so i call for a wake-up call and tell her to set the alarm too...days here,wake-up call worked but the alarm clock didnt..she set the fawking thing for PM not AM!!! so now were running late,"NO SHOWERS"get to the airport "FAWKING MOBBED" mothers day!!by the way,our original flight was supposed to leave around 8:15 am or so.."MISSED THE FAWKING THING"so 2 stand-bys later we get on a 1pm flight."WERE NOT SITTING TOGETHER BUT WERE ON" as were on the plane ready to take off,doesnt the fawking pilot on the intercom go"DUE TO HIGH WINDs IN CHICAGO WERE GOING TO HAVE ABOUT A HOUR DELAY" people are going ewww awww,please,u fawking people dont know what ewww awww is,im thinking!!! so i was like fawk this ,let me off this thing so i can have a cig and quick bite..we come back,OUR PLANE IS GONE,OUR LUGGAGE,OUR FAWKING CARRY-ONS EVREYTHING !!! NOW SHES CRYING...AND IM PACING THE FAWKING AIRPORT JUST WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME WRONG!!! now all we got to our names is her tiny pocket book and the clothes on our back..long story short we didnt get to chicago till around 830pm chicago time..guess what happens next: "WE MISSED THE LAST CONNECTING FLIGHT TO ROCHESTER!! were stuck in chicago overnight till morning!!! guys,now were sleeping on the fawking airport floor,broke,scrubbed out and not a pot to pi$$ in and a window to throw it out!!! we didnt get back home till 9am the following morning!! :bigun: fawk that whole trip....thanks for listening guys,
were stuck in chicago overnight till morning!!! guys,now were sleeping on the fawking airport floor,broke,scrubbed out and not a pot to pi$$ in and a window to throw it out!!! we didnt get back home till 9am the following morning!! :bigun: fawk that whole trip....thanks for listening guys,Sounds like you need to copyright the story and sell it to Chevy Chase and company for another of the Vacation movie series
I am sorry but I cannot believe a word of any of this.
Its too far fetched. And besides you sound like beantownjim.
The next thing you will tell us is a dump trunk got in the middle of
the road and you went very fast.
:thefinger
KOD
Its too far fetched. And besides you sound like beantownjim.
The next thing you will tell us is a dump trunk got in the middle of
the road and you went very fast.
:thefinger KOD
Scott-Atlanta said:I am sorry but I cannot believe a word of any of this.
Its too far fetched. And besides you sound like beantownjim.
The next thing you will tell us is a dump trunk got in the middle of
the road and you went very fast.
KOD
what,are u kidding me???
then u got the i.q of a pubic hair!!!! its 100% the truth>>>MOUTH :thefinger 