The Top 13 Things You Won't Hear at the Daytona 500....

[taoist]

The Top 13 Things You Won't Hear at the Daytona 500


13> "None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."

12> "Tampax! Get cha Tampax here!"

11> "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race."

10> "Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."

9> "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"

8> "Hey, you with the large breasts -- out of the way! We're trying to watch a race here!"

7> "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street journal from my attach? case, then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."

6> "What a coincidence, Hank -- all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"

5> "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"

4> "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."

3> "Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."

2> "Filling in for Dale 'the intimidator' Earnhardt, Jr. today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."



...and the Number 1 Thing You Won't Hear at the Daytona 500...


1> "...and now, for the singing of our national anthem, please welcome international recording artist Boy George!"

 

[Marco]

You never see them interview the driver who finished in last place and hear him say something like:

"Yeah, we spent all week here trying to get the car set up right, just couldn't get any speed out of it.....my pitcrew is so incompetent, and my sponsors don't pay and just flat-out suck....Oh, by the way I'd like to thank Jesus for finishing last"

You just never hear that one.....

 

[yyz]

What about:


"Hey, fellas! I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Shaniqua, and her brother Lontrell..............."

 

[Penguinfan]

"Damn, I think I let my subscription to GQ run out"