child support story

[Captain Crunch]

but in my case, trust me, it's the other way around. my son is the one getting screwed in my case. she's the beneficiary (sp), not him.

Put me in that club, except it is my daughter. Nothing tougher than watching your own child go through these situations. Knowing my X, she probably already has considered getting my daughter on birth control, and she is only 11. One of these days I'm going to get some sort of satisfaction for all of the misery she has caused me and my daughter. What goes around, comes around.

 

[TBONEZ0295]

quote:Originally posted by MadJack
but in my case, trust me, it's the other way around. my son is the one getting screwed in my case. she's the beneficiary (sp), not him.

Jack...........I didn't get a chance to see what you wrote , but I really didn't need to, knowing a little bit about your life. You would be the only exception to the rule that I KNOW PERSONALLY!!!!!!!!!!

OMG thank god I had a few in me last night when I saw this thread, because I went right to bed and now I am on my way to AC this morning leaving now!!!!
or I could have just busted wide open on this topic !!!!!!!!!!!and when I was done I imagine I wouldn't have many friends left

HAVE A NICE DAY FELLAS!!!!!!!!!

 

[loophole]

lowell, there's not a judge in the state that wouldn't order your child's dental records be provided to you. i would think a simple call from your attorney to your wife's attorney would prompt her to provide the records voluntarily. if she refuses to do so and forces you to obtain a court order, most judges would order her to pay your attorney's fees for having to go to court.


i spent many years in the domestic courts, including representing the local clerk of court in charge of policing child support collections. there are plenty of horror stories on both sides of the fence. the reason i no longer practice domestic law is because of my disgust with the way the system is abused, mainly by the family law bar. domestic cases are not difficult really - most knowledgeable attorneys can predict where most cases should end up in final disposition, yet they know that they will be able to make more money if the case is litigated to the bitter end. domestic clients are uninformed, polarized and vulnerable when they go see a domestic lawyer, and it is a simple matter to goad them into litigating over the most obvious issues. couple that with a system that is hopelessly backlogged and you have a combination of variables that is ripe for abuse. there's an old saying attribtued to may that goes something like this: people who love sausage and respect the law shouldn't watch either one being made.

i now practice criminal defense law exclusively. i find myself among a better class of people.

 

[lowell]

mama- you need to go to the inforcement unit where you live if he is incarserated SP? his bail will be set at the amount of the arrears...........F*K him

lowell - dude, fix your kids teeth and shut up about it..............its your kid ??????????

GOD I HATE MEN WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT PAYING FOR THERE KIDS!!!!!!!!!

go seek some sympathy somewhere else , because any decent father follows the rules of the courts which is 40percent in your case ...........ah geeeez does that take away from your gambling habits ??????????

 

[lowell]

.i can assure you my son is not wanting for anything and he never will.i am not asking for sympathy but anyone who has been through the court system and divorce lawyers know how tough it can be.on 3 occasions i was withheld seeing him for 10 days waiting for a court date.a father's rights are the least of the court's concern.whatever problem there was with his teeth is fixed.i just find it ironic that i cannot find out what the problem is without getting lawyer involved.

 

[Chopsticks]

Coming from a divorce and having twins, I can fully understand what you're going through man. Here's the way I see the court system's hierarchy of care:

1. Children

2. Women

3. Pets and Animals

4. The Environment

5. MEN


Get used to it man...Things will never change

 

[lowell]

loophole we have no attys at the present.i settled everything 1.5 yrs ago without going in front of a judge.i tried to take the high ground on every issue.i assumed all debts,bought her out of home,paid alot of support and accepted seeing my son on the 2 days she works.i was given 1 overnight per month.now that he is older he wants to do more things with me and hopefully we can work it out without fighting in court.my problem now is that he spends many nights with his grandparents while she is courting.that is fine but he wants to be with me and that is the hard part.she allowed me to take him to beach to fish for 2 days but then at support court she complains to the judge that if i have money for that my child support should stay at its current level.my income is down over 70 percent the past 2 yrs.i am working hard to get it back but 2 days a week i stay home with my son and that takes me away from job.thanks

 

[skulldog]

Tara- shut up!! wtf do you know about being a divorced father, nothing. Crunch well put! I know of situations were dads are the scum of the earth, but when you start lumping all of us together, that's bullshit especially coming from a woman!!


I pay my x dushbag almost 2 K a month plus I pay for all the health Ins coverage, gave her the house(which I built w/my friends), which I wanted to do so the kids wouldn't have to move, it wasn't their fault their mother couldn't keep her legs closed.

It sucks because she has posioned(sp) the 2 older kids and now they don't want to come over and spend time w/me, the 10 yr old still does, but that's only a matter of time and it eats @ me everyday. And what pisses me off even more is that they blame it on my 2nd wife, who has done more for them then their mother ever has.

The court system is a joke, I've been trying to get my support lowered for 2 yrs now and she doesn't show up, her attorney cancels at the last minute, but if I missed a payment or paid her the amount that the guidelines say, she would haul my ass back into court yesterday!!

I could go on and on how my oldest got into a car accident and nobody called to tell me, I had to pry it out of the 10 yr old, or how my 10 tyr missed 30 days of school last yr w/no medical condition and was also late 28 times, and when I complain to the school, I get slapped around. I wish the $$ was going to the kids, but it's not, if it was I'd have no problem paying the $$$, but I hate paying for that lazy dushbag and her cockehead boyfriend to hang around and fawck up my kids.

Lowell- good luck. Tell the X, no copy of the bill, then no payment, mine tried that on me and suddenly there wasn't any $$ due. Funny how that works.

Mama- I feel for ya. Lock that sorry ass up. Teach him a lesson.

Gl.

 

[Captain Crunch]

Skulldog, unfortunately, I think there are a whole lot of dads in the same situation as us. Just when our kids are most impressionable, vindictive X's (men or women) use the kids as a tool to try and get back at or make the other parents life miserable. One other thing that our mediator told us was that "as great as I think our justice system is, it is totally inadequate when it comes to dealing with children." After seeing it firsthand, I know what he was saying now. My X lied her ass off when she was on the stand, I just wanted to puke. It didn't really matter though, as it turned out I had no shot anyway. The judge told me I was the best, most active father that has ever walked into his courtroom, and he still jammed it up my ass. It just tears you apart having to watch what is being done to your kids, doesn't it? We can only hope for the best. Good Luck

 

[skulldog]

Amen CC

 

[bjfinste]

This thread certainly has me in no hurry to get married.

 

[TBONEZ0295]

First of all befor you go and use unpleasent language with me skulldog and tell me to shut up and call me by my first name when you don't even know me.............You might want to know that YES I have been and "am" on both sides.I know alot about the evil evil women who are money grubbing, blood sucking ,dush bags as you call them!!!!! I am one What I also know is more than a few in this thread complained about what a horrible upbringing your children are getting and its not worth the moneyThat is the most ridiculous thing of this whole thread.............

This is how I see it, If your X's are doing such a terrible job raising your children weather its giving them to much apple juice or keeping things from you then WHY DON'T YOU just go for custody and raise them yourself???? OR just pay your child support let your X's do the best they can and shut up about it!!!!!!!! It can't be all that bad and if it is do something about it.........

You see boys ,befor you come back with WHY YOU WOULDN"T get custody and blame a judge...........I have been raising "full time" (my one son) Nicholas since he was 3 years old. YES my husband faught for custody and won "THANK GOD" so I do know that there are some women out there that are quite screwed up and do not deserve the privaledge anyway........He has not seen his (biological) mother for almost 14 years............. He will be 15 in November..................

I also have 3 more kids from my first marriage that my current husband has been and is raising and provides quite a nice life for them "If I may say so my self!!!!!!!!!!"After I left my first husband 2 maybe 3 years went by befor my X even inquired about them or even asked to see them........I never even filed for child support because I just didn't want him in my or there lives to be quite honest............... After a half dozen times of my husband and I watched these kids sit patiently for there biological dad to show up,,,,,, and never did and we witnessed the broken hearts we offered him to release custody and let Ray adopt them , which would mean he would have no more responsibilties to them what so ever..............He refused to relinquish his rights BECAUSE HE LOVES HIS KIDS When he did that a judge ordered him to pay child support.........I NEVER ASKED for a dime !!!!! I never needed to!!!!!!!! THANK GOD!!!!! 6 months went by pretty smoooth he would come when he said he was coming and the children were happy so I was too........... After about 6 months of every other weekend visits He started his typical BS again not showing up ect. ect. and once again my husband and I watched my kids suffer..............So the bottom line ended up over the last 10 years they are lucky if they see him once a year!!!!!!!! Which is fine by me!!!!You see if he would have just not messed with the kids hearts to begin with then he wouldn't be feeling the rath of me in his pocket now would he????

Do you guys think the cost of living goes down every year????? Then why would you think that your support should be reduced????????You all have a certain earning capacity so DO IT!!!!! That is F*ked up!!!!!!!!!Once a year my X trys to pull that shit and every year he walks with an increase:moon:Just this year he came to court and was awarded SS so they temporarily reduced my order......He claimed he couldn't no longer work and had some quack write a letter to SS claiming he was disable !!!!!!!!!Well the first thing I did was have a friend call his bus. and get an estimate on an addition , yes boys in writing he gave a $15,000 estimate and stated that he would not be subbing the work out all work on premises would be done by him!!!!!!!!HAVE PICTURES ,HAVE AN ESTIMATE, AND HAVE A WITNESS Then I went to city hall to the deeds and records dept looked up his name and found a few properties he owns , ITS PUBLIC RECORD if you didn't know. Not only does he own a few homes in the city after a few days of playing PI, eye spy I fing out he is running half way houses and charging $80 a week per guy, he has 3 of theses house that operate themselves and has anywhere from 20-30guys per house paying .DO THE MATH$$$ So I get pictures have the deeds and records notarized and I even convince one of the guys living at one of the houses to testisfy and get me pictures of the office with him in it!!!!!Then off to the county I go where he lives go to that court house and pull the deed to the house he tells the judge he doesn't own YEH RIGHT $400,000 house with his name alllllll over it. Now keep in mind this fool even had the nerve to tell the judge that he has no bank accounts LOL does he think I'm stupid (I GUESS SO) I have copies of ALL checks recieved and I have a friend who works at the branch he banks at.........so I have my own personal knowledge of his income....... Needless to say he got slammed in court and is really lucky I didn't report him for fraud.........He owes me AND my husband $12,000 as of last week and has his home for sale WHICH now has a lean on it MADE BY ME!!!!!!!! Hey the way I see it you want to play???? Then you better find a way to pay!!!!!!!!!!:moon:

You know way back in the beginning my husband would say to me cut him a break he's trying to be around for the kids, BUT he has since learned and see's what the guy does to the kids..All this said I definately would have to say that I am very lucky to have met and married the man I did, the second time around He is truelly one of the best dads I know..............Not to many men out there that would fight the fight to get custody and change diapers and all..............

mama if I lived near you I would help BRING EM DOWN!!!!!!!! we would find a way!!!!!!!!!

In closing guys I guess it would suck to pay %40 of your income to raise a child that you don't see as often as you would like ..........DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! you do have rights too!!!!!!!!!

 

[Captain Crunch]

With all due respect Tbonez, as was stated earlier, all of these cases have their own individual merits. I don't blame you one bit for doing what you did especially beings he was blatantly lying to you. My point, and I think a few others here is, the court system is living under laws that were established 20-30 years ago when most women didn't work and they were enacted to protect them when they could more than likely not find any employment and leave them helpless when the dickhead ran off. The mentality of these judges is that the father cannot raise there children as well as the mom. That is total BS as I have been going solo since my daughter was 6 months old and there isn't a damn I can't do for my daughter except breast feed, and she never got any of that, and she way past that stage anyway. I had documentation and talks with people who work with kids and family situations everyday and they were all pissed off when I told them what the judge had said to me, basically that I was not capable of raising my daughter as good as her mom. These phonies are living about 3 decades behind and could give a rats ass about the true well being of the kids. I dropped about 10K contesting her mom's move, and you can see what it got me. Why would I want to go back and drop another 10K to more than likely get the same results. Until there are some laws enacted that put the mom and dad on equal ground, it will never change. Did you ever wonder why there are so many screwed up kids out there? I bet a lot of them grew in situations similar to what has been mentioned in this thread.

BTW, that was one hell of a post. I can tell you are passionate about being a good parent, as I am too. Just a little over a month till my daughter comes to stay with me for the summer and I can get back to work. Good Luck

 

[TBONEZ0295]

CC- I have to admit my first initial post was definately off base .........SORRY!!!! your right each story does have its own individual merits........... I really have seen both sides of this issue !!!!!but I do feel very passionate about this topic ,,,,,if it wasn't obvious enough with my eye bleeder post Alls that any of us can really do, is the best we can WHATEVER that may be!!!!!!! Happy Parenting to all!!!!!!

sorry if I offended anyone I am certainly not a "one sided" evil, money grubbing, dush bag..........I just have my own personal story just like evryone else!!!!!!!

 

[Captain Crunch]

The first thing I thought when I read that first post was "someone found the key to liquor cabinet." LOL Thought it was a little odd you would be flaming someone for asking questions about their kids teeth.

I hate to think how many "horror" stories there are out there that relate to this topic. The real losers are the kids and they didn't have anything to do with the situation that they were put in.

I'm pretty thick skinned, so your initial post didn't bother me. I am very passionate about this to, and as much as I hate politics, I think sometime in the near future, I am going to be getting in contact with a politician to discuss if anything can be done about these issues and how the relate to the justice system.

Good Luck

 

[TBONEZ0295]

The first thing I thought when I read that first post was "someone found the key to liquor cabinet." LOL

LOL I DID ,.......... have a few that is!!!!!I'm just glad I walked away from the computer and went to bed when I did!!!!!!!!!! I definately could have done more damage!!!!!!!!! That would not have been good !!!!!!!!!!

lowell I'm sorry !

 

[skulldog]

With all due respect tbonez, I'm sorry I called by your first name. I stand corrected in my assumption that you didn't know what you were talking about, it seems you do from the female side of things. I cannot agree more w/CC, the court system in MA is a joke and I'm sick and tired of getting slapped around in Court and it costing me big bucks to boot!!

About lowering the support. When the order was issused it was extremely excessive but it was my fault as I didn't have an attorney(stupid move), but I was all screwed up over the break up and she tricked me.

I'm not able to work the hours like before(new baby) so my income has dropped and it's about time my X finally picks up the slack.

Sorry I told you to shut up. CC, don't waste your time the system will never change.

GL