(you Drive Like An Old Jew)

[beantownjim]

JACK PLEASE DONT DELETE THIS THREAD I ACTUALLY HAVE A FUNNY STORY TO TELL.WELL FELLAS AS WE ALL KNOW OUR BUDDY BILLY JOEL HAS HAD HIS SHARE OF AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS LATELY AND HE IS GIVING NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE (YOU DRIVE LIKE AN OLD JEW) I WONDER IF BILLY JOEL WILL BE OPENING UP A DRIVING SCHOOL ANYTIME SOON.WELL JACK HERE IS THE FUNNY STORY I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS THE YEAR WAS 1976 I WAS A SOPHMORE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND OF COURSE I WANTED MY DRIVERS LICENSE SO I COULD BANG SOME BROADS IN MY CAR AT THE DRIVE IN MOVIE THEATRE.BOYS MY DRIVER INSTRUCTOR WAS A GUY NAMED GEORGE CAREY HE WAS IN HIS MID 50'S AND YOU COULD TELL HE WAS A DRINKER I COULDNT AT THE TIME BUT SIONCE I HAVE MATURED I LOOK BACK AND REALIZE OLD GEORGE WASNT GOING TO LIVE TO LONG,I KNOW HE MUST BE DEAD NOW.BOYS I WAS TAKING THE ROAD TEST TO GET MY LICENSE PICTURE THIS MY FATHER WHO AT THE TIME WAS SO YOUNG COMPARED TO HOW I LOOK AT HIM TODAY MAN HOW THE TIME FLIES WELL ANYWAY HE WAS IN THE BACK SEAT AND GEORGE CAREY THE DRIVING INSTRUCTOR WAS IN THE FRONT SEAT.I KNEW GEORGE WAS A MEAN LOOKING GUY BUT IT WASNT UNTIL ABOUT HALF THE ROAD TEST WAS OVER UNTIL I FOUND OUT JUST HOW BAD THE GUY WAS.WE DROVE 5 BLOCKS THEN GEORGE SAYS WHO THE F-CK TAUGHT THIS KID HOW TO DRIVE AND MY PROUD FATHER SAYS I HAVE BEEN TEACHING HIM UP AT THE OLD SEARS PARKING LOT.JESUS CHRIST HE SAYS TO MY FATHER THIS KID DRIVES LIKE AN OLD JEW HE'S ALL HUNCHED OVER HES GOING 10 MPH IN A 30MPH ZONE WHAT THE F-CK MOST 16 YEAR OLD KIDS I HAVE OUT TO GET THERE LICENCES ARE FLYING AROUND I DONT EVEN NEED A SEAT BELT WITH YOUR SON.THEN HE SAYS TO MY FATHER HEY PAL ANY WAY WE GET YOUR KID TO SPEED IT UP I WANT TO TAKE MY WIFE OUT FOR LUNCH.DO YOU THIS GUY FLUNKED ME BECAUSE I COULDNT DO A 3 POINT TURN ON A STREET THAT WAS ABOUT 10 FEET WIDE MAN I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS GUY GEORGE CAREY YOU WERE A BEAUTY.I FELT BAD FOR MY FATHER WE STILL LAUGH ABOUT IT TO THIS DAY I TOOK MY FATHER FOR A RIDE THE OTHER DAY AND WE ALMOST GOT HIT AND YOU KNOW IT MY FATHER SAYS JESUS CHRIST MAYBE THAT GUY CAREY WAS RIGHT.(SORRY BILL JOEL BUT EVERYTIME I HERE YOU DRIVE LIKE AN OLD JEW I WILL NOW THINK OF WWW.BILLYJOEL.COM AND MY OLD DRIVING INSTRUCTOR GEORGE CAREY GOD REST HIS SOUL GEORGE YOU WILL BE VERY PROUD OF ME I ONLY HAD 2 DRUNK DRIVING OFFENSES IN 27 YEARS NOT BAD HUH GEORGIE BOY:shrug:

SING US A SONG IM THE PIANO MAN
SING US A SONG TONIGHT
WHY WHERE ALL IN THE MOOD FOR A DRIVE TONIGHT
SO JUMP IN AND HOLD ON TIGHT (I NEVER SAID I WAS A SONG WRITER):thefinger

ANYBODY WHO DOESNT THINK THERE IS ANTI SEMITISM IN THIS COUNTRY IF YOUR SISTER WAS DATING BEN WALLACE,KEVIN GARNETT,PATRICK EWING,OR BILLY JOEL WHO WOULD YOU WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS

 

[beantownjim]

BOYS JUST ONE THOUGHT HOW DOES A GUY GET INTO 3 CAR ACCIDENTS IN 3 YEARS UNLESS HE IS LOSING IT UPSTAIRS.I LOVE THE LAST ACCIDENT HE PLOWS INTO A HOUSE I HAVE HAD OVER A CASE OF BEER IN ME AND DROVE BUT I NEVER EVEN CAME CLOSE TO HITTING A HOUSE AND BILLY JOEL WAS SOBER WHAT THE F-CK:nono: HAS ANYBODY IN THIS FORUM EVER DRIVIN INTO A HOUSE THIS IS REALLY HARD TO DO.I THINK OUR BUDDY THE PIANO MAN IS SINGING OUT OF TUNE HE MUST BE DOING SOME KIND OF DRUG NORMAL PEOPLE DONT PLOW INTO HOUSES DO THEY MAYBE I AM MIXED UP HOW DO YOU FELLAS FEEL.ILL BET SCOTTY FROM ATLANTA HAS DRIVIN INTO A HOUSE BEFORE WHEN HE WAS PLAYING WITH HIS HOT WHEEL CARS

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE GREAT CASCADE ROBBERY OF 2003 THE DAY LENNY AND CASCADE SPORTSBOOK STOLE 660 DOLLARS FROM ME:thefinger

 

[IntenseOperator]

EVER SINCE THE SPLIT BETWEEN HIM AND THE HOT BROAD HE WAS MARRIED TO HIS WHOLE LIFE HAS TURNED FOR THE WORSE. HE EVEN DOING CLASSICAL MUSIC NOW LIKE SOME FAG.:moon:

 

[TBONEZ0295]

Jim you asked how does one guy get into 3 car accidents in 3 years ????? DON'T LAUGH JIMMY I am your friend!!!!!
remember that..........but anyway back in "93" I was in 3car accidents in 6 months time yep Jim that is correct 3 totaled cars it all started with a buick regal TOTALED..............Then I bought a Mitsubihi Starion the first accident I slammed into 1 car who then hit the next car and so on equaling 4 cars got hit in front of me , it was raining and my foot slipped off of the break AND SLAM
after I drove my 4 week car away from the scene with nothing but front end damage.............3 weeks later as I was making a left turn on an arrow a old woman went threw the light coming in the other direction and slammed into the intire passenger side of the car, totaling yet another car...........


maybe you should give ole BILLY BOY a break maybe it was raining and his foot slipped of the peddle as he was heading toward the house or maybe BILLY BOY payed everyone off did ya ever think of that???? Maybe he was in fact intoxicated :yup

 

[Hailmary]

Beantown,
You never cease to amaze me with your gibberish. Why in sam hell would you waste your time writing about something nobody really gives a chit about? I have no clue why I just read it but I realize I just wanted a good laugh and not have to read beyond second grade mentality. Thanks for the laugh,
GL & PEACE, HAIL

 

[TBONEZ0295]

befor I get bashed ................ I haven't been in a car accident since then :scared

 

[DR STRANGELOVE]

BTJ,

maybe he was touching his weiner ???
:shrug:

 

[DR STRANGELOVE]

Beantown,
You never cease to amaze me with your gibberish. Why in sam hell would you waste your time writing about something nobody really gives a chit about? I have no clue why I just read it but I realize I just wanted a good laugh and not have to read beyond second grade mentality. Thanks for the laugh,
GL & PEACE, HAIL

WTF have you been?

nice to see u

 

[RexBudler]

BTJ,

maybe he was touching his weiner ???
:shrug:

:142lmao:

 

[TBONEZ0295]

BTJ,

maybe he was touching his weiner ???
:shrug:

:brows: :SIB :scared :idea:

 

[THE KOD]

fletcher prepares to kick Billy Joels ass

 

[THE KOD]

Sing us a song Im the Piano man, sing me a song
tonight. Because we are all in the mood for a melody,
shit where am I ?

 

[freelancc]

:lol:

 

[beantownjim]

FLETCHER PREPARES TO KICK BILL JOELS ARSE :lol: :lol: :lol: WOW THAT WAS FUNNY

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE GREAT CASCADE ROBBERY OF 2003 THE DAY LENNY AND (CASCADE SPORTSBOOK) STOLE 660 DOLLARS FROM ME

 

[THE KOD]

freelancc

You know I really should charge you for all the laughs
you get out of me for free!

KOD

PS / jk free

 

[fletcher]

The reason for no more wrecks T is because you drive a tank with 4 wheels, hell no one wants to get in the way of that big ass battering ram + we have a football mom to boot behind the wheel

 

[djv]

My cousin said they say that about drivers in florida all the time.

 

[hogman14]

Sing us a song Im the Piano man, sing me a song
tonight. Because we are all in the mood for a melody,
shit where am I ?

BTJ, looks like our good friend Sean McD's scene outside the Florian Hall.

WHOEVER SAYS THERE ISN'T DISCRIMINATION IN THIS COUNTRY IF YOUR DAUGHTER WAS DATING BILLY JOEL, SEAN MCDONOUGH, ROBERT DOWNEY, JR, OR CARROT TOP WHO WOULD YOU WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS?

 

[THE KOD]

What do you get if you put Scott4USC,
Private Petey, beantownjim, and Eddie Haskell
in the same room with fletcher ?

 

[fletcher]

It would be like this scott would be used as the mop bucket, double P would be the mop handle and btj the green tooth fag mick would be the mop head , and if he wanted to bring little johnny knock kness, i would just have to bring in the cleaning crew not that i would need them a swift side kick to the inner knee would put them all down or a nice mc44 38 inch 34 oz would do the trick to the ribs, but if back up is needed would bring in the cleaners raymond and dogface, then it would be spring cleaning fast