1.. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. - Grantland Rice
2.. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike
golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count
past five. - John Updike
3.. If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game
of golf would be played far better than it is. - Horace G. Hutchinson
4.. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more
complicated than that. - Gardner Dickinson
5.. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a
golf club, they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead
6.. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William
Wordsworth
7.. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
8.. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it
ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt.
9.. Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally
responsible when he makes a hole in one. - Author Unknown
10.. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. - Author Unknown
11.. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye
12.. I'm hitting the woods just great - but having a terrible time
getting out of them! - Author Unknown
13.. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf
course. - Billy Graham
14.. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the
wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
15.. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while
they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
16.. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon
17.. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being
good at them. - Jimmy Demaret
18.. May thy ball lie in green pastures and not in still waters.
-Author Unknown
19.. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook.
If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. - Author Unknown
20.. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't
improve your lie. - George Deukmejian
21.. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. - Author Unknown
Posted at a local golf club...
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick back swing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please... while others are preparing to go.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2.. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike
golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count
past five. - John Updike
3.. If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game
of golf would be played far better than it is. - Horace G. Hutchinson
4.. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more
complicated than that. - Gardner Dickinson
5.. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a
golf club, they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead
6.. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William
Wordsworth
7.. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
8.. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it
ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt.
9.. Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally
responsible when he makes a hole in one. - Author Unknown
10.. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. - Author Unknown
11.. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye
12.. I'm hitting the woods just great - but having a terrible time
getting out of them! - Author Unknown
13.. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf
course. - Billy Graham
14.. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the
wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
15.. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while
they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
16.. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon
17.. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being
good at them. - Jimmy Demaret
18.. May thy ball lie in green pastures and not in still waters.
-Author Unknown
19.. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook.
If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. - Author Unknown
20.. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't
improve your lie. - George Deukmejian
21.. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. - Author Unknown
Posted at a local golf club...
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick back swing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please... while others are preparing to go.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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