If you're going to be married as long I have you gotta treat them right. By them I mean your favorite barmaid, secretary, and any 6 foot russian broad you may or may not have on your payroll. You guys with young kids, you have to throw in the nanny and or babysitters and the preschool staff, (God knows those chicks like to hump). You gotta take care of those you want to take from behind. Or else it's nothing but porn and roughing up the suspect. :jerkit:
In all the years I've been married I've learned a few things. The First and probably the most important is:
The Secret to any successful marriage is an understanding girlfriend. The formula for this is simple. C+D squared =U. Or for the mathematically and matrimonially challenged, Cash plus new tits (DD) equals understanding. If this doesn't work try changing the c for cash to Cocaine. Like I always say if you can't get them to want you on your own, get them strung out.
The second thing I've learned is be faithful. As long as I've been married I have never cheated on a single girlfriend. I also never forget the important days Like tomorrow, or birthdays and such. I even remember the fat mail sluts bj I mean b'day. You got to see the set of lips on her. Made for.. ah nevermind. That reminds me I think my anniversary is coming up in March I believe. I better call my daughter to confirm. If it is you can bet your ass I will be away that week. Maybe it's the same week as the Ncaa tourney first round. Vegas or Aruba here I come. Maybe I'll bring my "niece".
Now I'm nice to the Seahag too on Valentines Day also, so don't get all high and mighty on me. Just today I told her to sleep in and I'd make breakfast. So I brewed coffee, and made some nice eggs Benedict and crisp bacon. I guess the fat pig smelled the coffee and bacon and made her way down to the kitchen. Needless to say I only made one cup of coffee and enough food for myself and the dog. She was pissed, but I left her the dishes to do and a dog that eggs Benedict bacon, and two cans of chili with Jalapenos and a jar of cheese whiz for breakfast. I almost forgot a I also left a 10 inch turd that I gave birth to In the toilet. Naturally I disabled the toilet so that one will need to be manually removed. :flush:
I'm off to the track I think that homosexual dog of mine is fixing to siht the floor.
I'll be the fat bald guy at delaware park with the bad case of seconditis stop by and say hello. :toast:
In all the years I've been married I've learned a few things. The First and probably the most important is:
The Secret to any successful marriage is an understanding girlfriend. The formula for this is simple. C+D squared =U. Or for the mathematically and matrimonially challenged, Cash plus new tits (DD) equals understanding. If this doesn't work try changing the c for cash to Cocaine. Like I always say if you can't get them to want you on your own, get them strung out.
The second thing I've learned is be faithful. As long as I've been married I have never cheated on a single girlfriend. I also never forget the important days Like tomorrow, or birthdays and such. I even remember the fat mail sluts bj I mean b'day. You got to see the set of lips on her. Made for.. ah nevermind. That reminds me I think my anniversary is coming up in March I believe. I better call my daughter to confirm. If it is you can bet your ass I will be away that week. Maybe it's the same week as the Ncaa tourney first round. Vegas or Aruba here I come. Maybe I'll bring my "niece".
Now I'm nice to the Seahag too on Valentines Day also, so don't get all high and mighty on me. Just today I told her to sleep in and I'd make breakfast. So I brewed coffee, and made some nice eggs Benedict and crisp bacon. I guess the fat pig smelled the coffee and bacon and made her way down to the kitchen. Needless to say I only made one cup of coffee and enough food for myself and the dog. She was pissed, but I left her the dishes to do and a dog that eggs Benedict bacon, and two cans of chili with Jalapenos and a jar of cheese whiz for breakfast. I almost forgot a I also left a 10 inch turd that I gave birth to In the toilet. Naturally I disabled the toilet so that one will need to be manually removed. :flush:
I'm off to the track I think that homosexual dog of mine is fixing to siht the floor.
I'll be the fat bald guy at delaware park with the bad case of seconditis stop by and say hello. :toast:
