Time for my morning rant.
The more I think about it, the more I hate hardwood floors. Actually, I dislike most things that are "in"...and hardwood floors, without a doubt, are very, very "in".
"Everyone loves hardwood floors!!!" I am told. No, they don't. For years we've carpeted everything, and with good reason. It just feels better to walk on. But now, if you don't have beautiful gleaming hardwood floors, well, something's seriously wrong with you.
While remodeling and renovating this old house I'm in, I ripped out the old carpet in the master bedroom...carpet which has been there for 35 years. And underneath...virgin hardwood floors. Never walked on, never seen by any human eye for over 35 years.
"Oh my god you're not going to put carpet down are you??", my female friend says, incredulously. "Nobody's doing that anymore. Haven't you heard? Hardwood floors are what's in now. Just look at that floor!!!!", she squeals, while clutching her hands together like she is giving thanks to the maker above. "It's beautiful!! How can you even consider covering that up?"
How thoughtless of me. I forgot I've got to do what everyone else is doing. Everyone else may sleep over one night and I wouldn't want them to see my carpet and find out how out of touch I am with the world.
I know when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I want to do is roll out of bed and walk across cold, hard wood on the way to the washroom. I wouldn't want to feel nice soft warm fibres under my bare feet. No, I'd rather waddle across bare wood and shiver while I admire it's beauty.
Worse yet is walking on it in socks. If the wood has any sort of finish to it at all it will be slippery in socks, similar to walking on an icy sidewalk. You know the feeling when it ices up outside, and your legs and knees stiffen and lock up as you protect yourself from falling? Who wouldn't want to be surrounded by that? I must be nuts to want comfort over cold hard shine.
"I've always dreamed of having a house with hardwood floors!", my friend tells me, her eyes glazing over and legs trembling. Seriously? As a child, while the other girls were playing with their Barbies, all that was on your mind was how badly you wished you had hardwood floors, cursing the shag beneath you? As a teenager, while other girls were dreaming of boys, you laid awake at night envisioning the day you'd be rid of carpet once and for all?
My mother is in the process of selling the home she has lived in with her second husband for 25 years. Their house is immaculate. They've renovated every room twice over. Decorating is her love and they've done an amazing job. The kitchen is double the size it was when they bought the house, beautifully decorated with every modern appliance, the best counter tops, fantastic lighting, and a huge bay window looking out back. The bedrooms are spacious and comfortable (not to mention, carpeted). The windows are all new. The yard is impeccably kept, with a huge flower garden out back, and a big healthy vegetable garden to the side. Hell even the garage is spotless. I have never seen a garage that is practically dust-free, but theirs is. But somewhere along the line, Mom blinked and missed out on the big thing happening in the world, when everyone tore out their carpet and replaced it with hardwood.
The house goes on the market and the real estate agents swarm in, eager to snap the place up. And every one of them says the same thing... "We may have a hard time selling this. There are no hardwood floors". Glum looks all around. Mom missed the boat. She's a failure. Somewhere along the line she missed the latest trend, and all her hard work is for naught. Now she's going to have to pay the price for ignoring what the world wants. Without hardwood, this place really doesn't have much value. "The new owners will want to put in hardwood floors, so we'll have to lower the asking price a bit to account for that". Well, that's a given. I mean Who wouldn't want hardwood floors???? Not me, not you, not anybody!!!
Enough already. In five years everyone will be sick of hardwood floors and will be rushing out to cover them up again as quickly as possible. So why not get a jump on the world and start carpeting now?
Hopefully by then I'll be allowed to eat food with carbs again too.
The more I think about it, the more I hate hardwood floors. Actually, I dislike most things that are "in"...and hardwood floors, without a doubt, are very, very "in".
"Everyone loves hardwood floors!!!" I am told. No, they don't. For years we've carpeted everything, and with good reason. It just feels better to walk on. But now, if you don't have beautiful gleaming hardwood floors, well, something's seriously wrong with you.
While remodeling and renovating this old house I'm in, I ripped out the old carpet in the master bedroom...carpet which has been there for 35 years. And underneath...virgin hardwood floors. Never walked on, never seen by any human eye for over 35 years.
"Oh my god you're not going to put carpet down are you??", my female friend says, incredulously. "Nobody's doing that anymore. Haven't you heard? Hardwood floors are what's in now. Just look at that floor!!!!", she squeals, while clutching her hands together like she is giving thanks to the maker above. "It's beautiful!! How can you even consider covering that up?"
How thoughtless of me. I forgot I've got to do what everyone else is doing. Everyone else may sleep over one night and I wouldn't want them to see my carpet and find out how out of touch I am with the world.
I know when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I want to do is roll out of bed and walk across cold, hard wood on the way to the washroom. I wouldn't want to feel nice soft warm fibres under my bare feet. No, I'd rather waddle across bare wood and shiver while I admire it's beauty.
Worse yet is walking on it in socks. If the wood has any sort of finish to it at all it will be slippery in socks, similar to walking on an icy sidewalk. You know the feeling when it ices up outside, and your legs and knees stiffen and lock up as you protect yourself from falling? Who wouldn't want to be surrounded by that? I must be nuts to want comfort over cold hard shine.
"I've always dreamed of having a house with hardwood floors!", my friend tells me, her eyes glazing over and legs trembling. Seriously? As a child, while the other girls were playing with their Barbies, all that was on your mind was how badly you wished you had hardwood floors, cursing the shag beneath you? As a teenager, while other girls were dreaming of boys, you laid awake at night envisioning the day you'd be rid of carpet once and for all?
My mother is in the process of selling the home she has lived in with her second husband for 25 years. Their house is immaculate. They've renovated every room twice over. Decorating is her love and they've done an amazing job. The kitchen is double the size it was when they bought the house, beautifully decorated with every modern appliance, the best counter tops, fantastic lighting, and a huge bay window looking out back. The bedrooms are spacious and comfortable (not to mention, carpeted). The windows are all new. The yard is impeccably kept, with a huge flower garden out back, and a big healthy vegetable garden to the side. Hell even the garage is spotless. I have never seen a garage that is practically dust-free, but theirs is. But somewhere along the line, Mom blinked and missed out on the big thing happening in the world, when everyone tore out their carpet and replaced it with hardwood.
The house goes on the market and the real estate agents swarm in, eager to snap the place up. And every one of them says the same thing... "We may have a hard time selling this. There are no hardwood floors". Glum looks all around. Mom missed the boat. She's a failure. Somewhere along the line she missed the latest trend, and all her hard work is for naught. Now she's going to have to pay the price for ignoring what the world wants. Without hardwood, this place really doesn't have much value. "The new owners will want to put in hardwood floors, so we'll have to lower the asking price a bit to account for that". Well, that's a given. I mean Who wouldn't want hardwood floors???? Not me, not you, not anybody!!!
Enough already. In five years everyone will be sick of hardwood floors and will be rushing out to cover them up again as quickly as possible. So why not get a jump on the world and start carpeting now?
Hopefully by then I'll be allowed to eat food with carbs again too.
Last edited:
