College Football Funnies....

[taoist]

Ah... football season is almost upon us... Here are some pre-season SEC funnies.... If anyone wants to add to them, feel free...and remember, this is all in good fun. No offense intended, fellas.


1) What does the average Alabama Player get on his SATs?
.........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas Cheerleaders in one room?
.........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a South Carolina Cheerleader into your dorm room?
.........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get a Georgia Graduate off your porch?
.........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if a Mississippi State football player has a
Girlfriend?
........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup

(6) Why is the Kentucky Football team like a possum?

.........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of an Auburn football player's
Life?
.........His freshman year.

(8) How many Florida Freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
.........None. That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
........Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He knew that the police would never look
at LSU for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?

.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

 

[Scott4USC]

Funny jokes taoist. Thanks for posting. I know you dislike me but hopefully you don't take offense to me posting these pictures in your thread. I do not dislike you but I am guessing you might post that STFU thingy at me again. But I hope you see the humor in my post. Maybe we can make amends even though I don't know what I did that offended you.


To UCLA fans.................

To OU fans....................

Pac 10 Conference that is not inferior to the SEC...........

The Best Campus in CFB..............

The Best Girls in CFB................

Maybe the Best WR in CFB last 10+ years........

The Best Mascot in CFB..................

The Best 2 Players in CFB............

The Best Program in CFB...................

:scared OKAY OKAY, maybe a little too heavy on the USC pictures , I admit I am a little bias, but some of these pictures were funny and others pretty cool. Hope you enjoyed. Sorry Bruin and Sooner fans! I hope you enjoyed the humor in my post.

 

[Scott4USC]

This is what SEC fans WRONGLY think of USC's schedule........

[/IMG]

 

[volfan]

Looks about right to me, want to switch schedules?

 

[Scott4USC]

Matt Leinart

 

[kosar]

Tons of people are hard core fans of a college team, but Scott4USC drifts into the 'creepy' area.

 

[Scott4USC]

Tons of people are hard core fans of a college team, but Scott4USC drifts into the 'creepy' area.

You sure are a negative person. Lighten up for once. It seems like whenever I see a post from you to someone else in a thread, it seems to always be negative or a put down. Maybe I am seeing you in the wrong threads. Anyways, your post in this thread sorta supports my question of you being a downer or maybe depressed. If you don't like the pictures or my post, why choose to comment on me personally? Makes no sense to me. Continue on being depressed and negative. Too bad you didn't enjoy the pictures. Maybe you have some of your own to contribute.

Maybe if you graduated from the school, die hard football fan, experience 3 straight BCS Bowl wins and back to back NC's, made tens of thousands betting on them, I think you would be a hard core fan too! :yup

Then again, I think your hostility towards me dates back to that political debate I had with you. Need to be reminded? :violin:

 

[BleedDodgerBlue]

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, ?Wanna hear a USC joke?? The guy next to him replies, ?Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I?m 6? tall, 200 lbs., and I?m a USC graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6?2?, weighs 225, and he?s a USC graduate. The fella next to him is 6?5? tall, weighs 250, and he?s a USC graduate. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?
The first guy replies: ?Naw, not if I?m gonna have to explain it three times.?

-
What do USC and UCLA students have in common? They both got in to USC

 

[Scott4USC]

BleedDodgerBlue what do you do when a UCLA graduate is standing at your front door??????

TIP HIM!!!!!!!! :mj15:

Looks about right to me, want to switch schedules?

Actually I would so I can watch USC beat all those SEC teams. But TN schedule is tougher than USC's schedule. PROPS TO TN! They def. have my respect! Good luck this year! If TN runs the table, they better be playing in the Rose Bowl!

 

[BleedDodgerBlue]

Q: At what point does a person decide to enroll at USC?
A: After receiving the rejection letters from UCLA, Harvard, Cypress and Orange Coast College


Q: How many Trojans does it take to change a tire?
A: None. It's on Daddy's lease program from the auto company; just trade the car for a new one.


Q: What is the difference between a USC diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $80,000 per sheet.

Q: What do you say to a USC football player dressed in a coat and tie?
A: Will the defendant please rise.

 

[kosar]

Anyways, your post in this thread sorta supports my question of you being a downer or maybe depressed.

Depressed, if you must know.

I really don't think any sort of political post by you would make any difference in what I thought of you. You proved your ignorance in that thread, but i'm friends with almost everybody that I spar with about politics. (yourself obviously excluded)

I actually noticed you long before that political stuff when you said that USC was the best team in the country in 2002 even though they lost twice and Ohio State went 14-0 (never done before or since) and beat the unbeatable Miami 'dynasty' who had won 35 or so straight.

I just think posting pictures of Leinart holding up condoms or on the bottom of a man sandwich is a bit odd. Do you have posters of him on your ceiling?

lol- funny jokes, taoist and BDB

 

[LUX]

1) What does the average Alabama Player get on his SATs?
.........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas Cheerleaders in one room?
.........A full set of teeth.

(5) How do you know if a Mississippi State football player has a
Girlfriend?
........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup

(7) What are the longest three years of an Auburn football player's
Life?
.........His freshman year.

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

LMFAO! :clap: :mj07:

 

[Agent 0659]

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

 

[Scott4USC]

BleedDodgerBlue

Thos are good jokes. Unfortunately they are outdated. USC incoming freshman have higher GPA and SAT scores than UCLA, CAL, and everyone else in CA except Stanford. That is a fact.

Depressed, if you must know.

I really don't think any sort of political post by you would make any difference in what I thought of you. You proved your ignorance in that thread, but i'm friends with almost everybody that I spar with about politics. (yourself obviously excluded)

How can you say that post proved my ignorance when I took your quotes and proved them wrong. How is that a display of ignorance? Doesn't make sense.

I actually noticed you long before that political stuff when you said that USC was the best team in the country in 2002 even though they lost twice and Ohio State went 14-0 (never done before or since) and beat the unbeatable Miami 'dynasty' who had won 35 or so straight.

I said USC was the best team in the country at the end of the year, and a lot of the media agreed. I also said USC didn't deserve the National Championship and OSU was deserving of it. There is no doubt in my mind USC would have beaten Ohio St. by double digits if they play at the "end" of the year. Nobody was going to beat USC. Remember, USC played the #1 SOS in the country that year! All in all, USC was not deserving of the NC and they didn't get it. Ohio St. was and they have the NC. Congrats!

I just think posting pictures of Leinart holding up condoms or on the bottom of a man sandwich is a bit odd. Do you have posters of him on your ceiling?

Everyone has a different sense of humor. Sorry if you were offended. I have to give credit to OU fans who are the masters at making farks. I actually don't have any USC posters in my room. Believe it or not.

lol- funny jokes, taoist and BDB

Too bad you didn't enjoy my pics. Can't please everyone. However, I would like to know why you dislike me so much. I am guessing the last 10 posts from you directed to me were a negative comment. Usually about me personally. Now all of these posts are originated by you to me. Not in replys to something I said first about you. For example you coming into a thread of mine and replying when I never once mentioned you. So what is it about me that you must post a negative to me on a personal lever? Not even talking about the subject in the thread. For the most part, I never talk to you or comment on you. Only after you make a remark to me and I still don't make personal attacks towards you.

 

[kosar]

So what is it about me that you must post a negative to me on a personal lever?

It's just that you're f*cking annoying, that's all.

 

[ferdville]

Having gone to both USC and UCLA, I can tell you something you probably won't believe. Of course this was a few years ago in the 60's.

In my opinion,you get a much better education at USC. At UCLA, especially as an undergrad, you often find yourself in classes that number in the hundreds. Good luck communicating with your professor more than a few words. Meet the TA. I was at UCLA for freshman and sophomore years so that might have been the reason. At USC most of the classes were small, sometimes 10 or under. There was always time for the Prof. That being said, the options at UCLA are significantly greater.

As far as campuses go, I have to disagree with Scott. UCLA is in a very wealthy area, a hop, skip and a jump from Bel Air and Beverly Hills. It is also a short drive to Malibu. The weather is much, much better. UCLA gets the nice ocean breeezes and doesn't heat up much. USC is in downtown LA and it gets hot.

As far as girls go, it is a mixed bag. If blond is your choice, SC is the place to go. If rich is your choice, SC is the place to go. BUt UCLA had a much better variety for those who look for variety.

There are many things about each school to admire. Trust me, there are just as many dumb athletes at UCLA as there are at USC.

 

[boilermaker]

What do you call a pretty girl at Indiana University?
VISITOR :mj07:

Why does Indiana have artificial grass?
TO KEEP THE CHEERLEADERS FROM GRAZING :mj07:

POTFH = Piss on the fawking Hoosiers :mj14: