Sexercise For Losing Calories:
For many years it has been noted that sex was actually good exercise but,
until now, nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual
activities. Now after considerable research, I am proud to present the results.
Removing Her Clothing:
With her consent ............ 12 Calories
Without her consent ....1,287 Calories
Opening Her Bra:
With both hands ............... 8 Calories
With one hand .................12 Calories
With your teeth ........... 485 Calories
With false teeth .......... 1,346 Calories
Putting On A Condom:
With an erection .............. 6 Calories
Without an erection ..... 3,315 Calories
Sexual Positions:
Missionary ................................. 12 Calories
Standing ................................. 178 Calories
On the kitchen table ..............812 Calories
Doggy style ............................ 816 Calories
(With barking & yelping) .............. 826 Calories
Swinging from a chandelier ........ 2,912 Calories
Orgasms:
Real ..................................... 112 Calories
Fake .................................1,315 Calories
Post Coital:
Lying in bed hugging .................. 18 Calories
Getting up immediately ............... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately ..... 816 Calories
Attempting "Round 2" if you are:
20-29 years .............................. 36 Calories
30-39 years ............................... 80 Calories
40-49 years .............................. 124 Calories
50-59 years .......................... 1,972 Calories
60-69 years .......................... 7,916 Calories
70 and over .......... Don't even think about it
Dressing Afterwards:
Calmly .............................................. ..32 Calories
In a hurry ........................................... 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door .....5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door .....13,521 Calories
Results may vary.
For many years it has been noted that sex was actually good exercise but,
until now, nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual
activities. Now after considerable research, I am proud to present the results.
Removing Her Clothing:
With her consent ............ 12 Calories
Without her consent ....1,287 Calories
Opening Her Bra:
With both hands ............... 8 Calories
With one hand .................12 Calories
With your teeth ........... 485 Calories
With false teeth .......... 1,346 Calories
Putting On A Condom:
With an erection .............. 6 Calories
Without an erection ..... 3,315 Calories
Sexual Positions:
Missionary ................................. 12 Calories
Standing ................................. 178 Calories
On the kitchen table ..............812 Calories
Doggy style ............................ 816 Calories
(With barking & yelping) .............. 826 Calories
Swinging from a chandelier ........ 2,912 Calories
Orgasms:
Real ..................................... 112 Calories
Fake .................................1,315 Calories
Post Coital:
Lying in bed hugging .................. 18 Calories
Getting up immediately ............... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately ..... 816 Calories
Attempting "Round 2" if you are:
20-29 years .............................. 36 Calories
30-39 years ............................... 80 Calories
40-49 years .............................. 124 Calories
50-59 years .......................... 1,972 Calories
60-69 years .......................... 7,916 Calories
70 and over .......... Don't even think about it
Dressing Afterwards:
Calmly .............................................. ..32 Calories
In a hurry ........................................... 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door .....5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door .....13,521 Calories
Results may vary.
