So, I'm sittin' around today. One of those days you clowns can relate to...... No one but me home all day. Never cleaned up, just watched the pre-game crap, laid about all morning scratching the ball bag, and watching the games. You know, a perfect Saturday.
Well, along with couch cruising that goes on, a guy needs some fuel, right? I sure as shit wasn't going to toss on some duds to go get anything, so it looked to me like I was ordering a pie, fellas.
Now, I've bitched plenty in the past about Dominos Pizza, but I figure this ain't a fukking date. I just need some quick grub, and even that slop will silence the pangs in my gut!
I recalled the sign at their joint advertising some "Brooklyn Style" pizza when I drove past the other day. Now, I aint never had a "Brooklyn Style" pizza in my life, but I figure a "Brooklyn Style" pizza would be damned fine right about now! I also have enough common sense to know that Domino's is about as likely to produce an authentic "Brooklyn Style" pizza as they are to cure cancer. Let's face it........these fukk-ups should be delivering their pies in little yellow buses!
So, I make the call and order my pie with a 2 litre Coke chaser.
Twenty minutes later, I get the door. It's Domino's. (I kill me!) I tip the 40 year old driver, and kick the door shut. I open the cardboard shuttle that contains my dinner, and give it the once over:
This pizza looked just like any other pizza you might order from them, with two exceptions. The sausages where slightly larger, and it was cut in six slices, instead of eight. Otherwise.......pretty standard issue.
Well, I poured a Coke and grabbed a hunk of "New York Nirvana". The crust was about as thin as Nicole Richie! I can't believe that the toppings didn't poke through it when they made the pie! (Thank god they used so few toppings, huh?)
Now for the taste test.
I have to say, for Domino's, it wasn't that bad. Still, I'm guessing if you were from Brooklyn and ordered this, you might take a life! It was slightly better than a regular pie from them, but not much. I think the thin crust helped, because I wasn't chomping a mouthful of dough every bite.
Still, I'm not satisfied.
I am saving the box, and tomorrow morning I plan to take a shit in it. On my way to work, I will drop it off by their front door with this note:
Good morning,
I was not impressed with your Brooklyn Style Pizza. After "sleeping on it" I have decided to return it.
You can keep the corn and peanuts as a gift from me. My way of saying, "No hard feelings."
I can promise you this......If Spike Lee tried this shit, there would be a new movie next week!
Well, along with couch cruising that goes on, a guy needs some fuel, right? I sure as shit wasn't going to toss on some duds to go get anything, so it looked to me like I was ordering a pie, fellas.
Now, I've bitched plenty in the past about Dominos Pizza, but I figure this ain't a fukking date. I just need some quick grub, and even that slop will silence the pangs in my gut!
I recalled the sign at their joint advertising some "Brooklyn Style" pizza when I drove past the other day. Now, I aint never had a "Brooklyn Style" pizza in my life, but I figure a "Brooklyn Style" pizza would be damned fine right about now! I also have enough common sense to know that Domino's is about as likely to produce an authentic "Brooklyn Style" pizza as they are to cure cancer. Let's face it........these fukk-ups should be delivering their pies in little yellow buses!
So, I make the call and order my pie with a 2 litre Coke chaser.
Twenty minutes later, I get the door. It's Domino's. (I kill me!) I tip the 40 year old driver, and kick the door shut. I open the cardboard shuttle that contains my dinner, and give it the once over:
This pizza looked just like any other pizza you might order from them, with two exceptions. The sausages where slightly larger, and it was cut in six slices, instead of eight. Otherwise.......pretty standard issue.
Well, I poured a Coke and grabbed a hunk of "New York Nirvana". The crust was about as thin as Nicole Richie! I can't believe that the toppings didn't poke through it when they made the pie! (Thank god they used so few toppings, huh?)
Now for the taste test.
I have to say, for Domino's, it wasn't that bad. Still, I'm guessing if you were from Brooklyn and ordered this, you might take a life! It was slightly better than a regular pie from them, but not much. I think the thin crust helped, because I wasn't chomping a mouthful of dough every bite.
Still, I'm not satisfied.
I am saving the box, and tomorrow morning I plan to take a shit in it. On my way to work, I will drop it off by their front door with this note:
Good morning,
I was not impressed with your Brooklyn Style Pizza. After "sleeping on it" I have decided to return it.
You can keep the corn and peanuts as a gift from me. My way of saying, "No hard feelings."
I can promise you this......If Spike Lee tried this shit, there would be a new movie next week!
