Decoding Women's Personal Ads

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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

* 40-ish.....................49

* Adventurous................Slept with everyone

* Athletic...................No breasts

* Average looking............Moooo
* Beautiful..................Pathological liar

* Emotionally Secure.........On medication

* Feminist...................Fat

* Free Spirit................Junkie

* Friendship first...........Former Slut

* New-Age....................Body hair in the wrong places

* Old-fashioned..............No B.J.'s

* Open-minded................Desperate

* Outgoing...................Loud and embarrassing

* Professional...............Bitch

* Voluptuous.................Very fat

* Large frame................Hugely fat

* Wants soul mate............Stalker

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

* Yes........................No

* No.........................Yes

* Maybe......................No

* We need....................I want

* I am sorry.................You'll be sorry

* We need to talk............You're in trouble

* Sure, go ahead.............You better not

* Do what you want...........You will pay for this later

* I am not upset.............Of course, I am upset, you moron!

* You're attentive tonight...Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

* I am hungry...................I am hungry

* I am sleepy...................I am sleepy

* I am tired....................I am tired

* Nice dress....................Nice cleavage!

* I love you....................Let's have sex now

* I am bored...................Do you want to have sex?

* May I have this dance?......I'd like to have sex with you

* Can I call you sometime?....I'd like to have sex with you

* Want to go to a movie?.......I'd like to have sex with you

* Can I take you to dinner?....I'd like to have sex with you

* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit......I'm gay

 

[Agent 0659]

:lol2 :lol2 :lol2 :lol2

 

[Morris]

:142smilie

 

[IntenseOperator]

* some baggage.........looking for a sugar daddy for all her kids

 

[Axle]

:142smilie :142smilie :142smilie

 

[The Sponge]

Clever Zoomer

 

[hammer1]

All depends on what ur life experinces have been..

All depends on what ur life experinces have been..

Have never known a flat chested athletic woman..Serena Williams Venus Williams...the female athletes that i have known have been so stacked that if they made a sudden move in the sack i had a BLack Eye.................not wanting sex?????????..all depends on where u are on the food chain of desirable men.....................last Female Athlete i was in the Lobby of a Holiday Inn Express with was sitting in my lap and lubricating so forcefully my Armani Tan Slacks were soaked..........was just biddin my time ta see if she would cough up a little for the room.
When i went to pay for the room the Desk Manager must have thought i had Bladder Failure.
My longest relationship...7 years ended because i susatined a spinal cord injury and was unable to do my duty TWICE A DAY 7 DAYS a WEEK. Took A year fer everything to work again but she was gone. I have found that pickin' TEASERS successfully turns women into NYMPHOS.
Just my perspective......................

 

[Franky Wright]

Have never known a flat chested athletic woman..Serena Williams Venus Williams...the female athletes that i have known have been so stacked that if they made a sudden move in the sack i had a BLack Eye.................not wanting sex?????????..all depends on where u are on the food chain of desirable men.....................last Female Athlete i was in the Lobby of a Holiday Inn Express with was sitting in my lap and lubricating so forcefully my Armani Tan Slacks were soaked..........was just biddin my time ta see if she would cough up a little for the room.
When i went to pay for the room the Desk Manager must have thought i had Bladder Failure.
My longest relationship...7 years ended because i susatined a spinal cord injury and was unable to do my duty TWICE A DAY 7 DAYS a WEEK. Took A year fer everything to work again but she was gone. I have found that pickin' TEASERS successfully turns women into NYMPHOS.
Just my perspective......................

:SIB Wow!