(MY LAWYER IS TRYING TO KILL ME)
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BOYS I AM SCARED TO DEATH I AM 43 YEARS OLD I HAVE GROWN UP WITH THE WISE GUYS OF SOUTH BOSTON I WAS AROUND FOR THE TURF WARS WITH THE IRISH MOB AND THE GARLIC SNAPPERS THE ITALIANS,BOYS I HAVE HAD A GUN PULLED ON ME,I HAVE HAD A CHAIR THROWN AT ME IN A BAR,I HAVE BEEN SUCKER PUNCHED AND ATTEMPTED ROBBERY ON ME BY A COUPLE OF NIGERIANS BUT I MANAGED TO SURVIVE.I LOOK BACK AND SAY TO MYSELF WOW I SURVIVED IN A TOUGH NEIGHBORHOOD AND NOW MY ATTORNEY IS TRYING TO KILL ME.BOYS I WAS INVOLVED IN A LITTLE AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT I WAS BANGED AROUND PRETTY GOOD MY TRUCK WAS SIDE SWIPED BY SOME STUPID YUGOSLAVIAN EXCHANGE STUDENT WHO RAN A STOP SIGN HE WAS IN THIS COUNTRY ON A STUDENT VISA AND HAD A NICE BMW LEASED CAR LOADED WITH INSURANCE.I THOUGHT WHEN I GOT HIT I WAS GOING TO DIE ITS A MIRACLE I ONLY HAD BUMPS AND BRUISES I WAS TAKEN TO THE NEARBY HOSPITAL BY AMBULANCE.AS SOON AS I WAS DISHCHARGED I CALLED MY LAWYER AND TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED HE TOLD ME TO GO SEE HIS CHIROPRACTOR,AND KNEE DOCTOR FOR MY PAIN.WELL I AM NOT ONE TO GO AGAINST MY LAWYER SO I WENT TO HIS CHIROPRACTOR A REAL NICE GUY WHO WAS ON MY SIDE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.BOYS CHIROPRACTORS ARE A BUNCH OF QUACKS MY BACK WAS IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE UNTIL I WENT TO SEE DR. JOHN NOW I CANT EVEN BEND DOWN TO TAKE THE BALL OUT OF THE HOLE AFTER I PUTT.WELL BOYS ITS OFFICIAL MY LAWYER IS TRYING TO MAME ME TODAY HE SENT ME TO AN ORTHROPEDIC SERGEON FOR MY KNEEE BOYS YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS GUY PICTURE FRED FLINTSTONE BUT A REAL LIFE DOCTOR.THE GUY WAS ABOUT 5 FOOT 8 AND WEIGHED ABOUT 220 POUNDS AND LOOKED LIKE A FORMER PUNCHING BAG FOR MARVIN HAGLER I SWEAR TO GOD THIS GUY WAS PUNCH DRUNK.MY LAWYER SAID THIS GUY WAS AN OLDFRIEND AND WILL WRITE A GOOD REPORT WELL BOYS FLINTSTONE IS MAKING SURE I HAVE A KNEE PROBLEM.TODAY I ENTERED HIS OFFICE WALKING PRETTY GOOD AT ABOUT 99.9% STRENGHT WHEN I LEFT FLINTSTONES OFFICE I WAS IN A WHEELCHAIR AGONIZING IN PAIN WITH A PERSCIPTION FOR PERCOSET MAN MY F-CKING KNEE IS THROBBING.THE LAST THING I REMEMBER IS FLINTSTONE SAYING JIM DOES THIS HURT WHEN HE BENT MY KNEE I SAID A LITTLE DOC THE THE NEXT THING I KNEW MY KNEE WAS TWISTED LIKE JOE THIESMANS KNEE WHEN LAWRENCE TAYLOR BROKE HIS LEG.FELLAS I AM NOT ONE TO ACCUSE MY LAWYER OF FOUL PLAY BUT I HAVE A FEELING THIS GUY IS TRYING TO MAKE MY CASE A LITTLE STRONGER AT MY EXPENSE NOW I HAVE TO HAVE ORTHROPEDIC SURGERY TO REPAIR TORN CARTILIDGE ACCORDING TO FLINTSTONE WHAT THE F-CK HAPPEND I WAS WALKING 5 MILES ON THE TREAD MILL THE OTHER DAY NOW I AM IN A WHEEL CHAIR JESUS CHRIST COULD THIS BE MALPRACTICE
I TOLD MY LAWYER WHEN THE ACCIDENT FIRST HAPPENED I AM NOT TRYING TO BE PERMENTLY INJURED BECAUSE OF THIS ACCIDENT I JUST WANT TO TEACH THIS YOUNG YUGOSLAVIAN STUDENT YOU CANT DRIVE LIKE A NUT IN THE UNITED STATES AND NOT EXPECT TO PAY COMPENSATION.BOYS I AM SITTING ON MY NEW WHEEL CHAIR TALKING TO YOU GUYS AS I DOWN ANOTHER PERK TO KILL THE PAIN THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE I TOLD MY LOVELY WIFE WHAT HAPPENED AND SHE TOLD ME TO GET A 2ND OPINION ITS TO LATE DEAR MY LAWYERS DOCTOR ALREADY BROKE MY LEG.WHO CAN I SUE NOW BOYS IS THERE AN ATTORNEY HERE AT MAJOR WAGER WHO MIGHT GIVE ME SOME ADVICE MY ATTORNEY IS TRYING TO KILL ME AND MAME ME FOR LIFE.I JUST LOOKED OUTSIDE MY DOORSTEP MY WIFE TOLD ME THAT MY LAWYER CAME BY EARLIER AND WHEN HE LEFT SHE SAID HE WAS LEAVING A TRAIL OF BANANA PEELS FOR ME TO SLIDE DOWN THE STAIRS ON.THIS IS NO JOKE I HAVE A WHITE COLLAR CRIME GOING ON HERE I USED TO FEAR THE WISE GUYS LIKE THE WINTER HILL GANG BUT I NEVER THOUGHT A YUPPIE LAWYER WOULD SILENCE BEANTOWNJIM.WISH ME LUCK BOYS TOMORROW I GO FOR A 2ND OPINION
I HAVE TO GO GET ANOTHER PERK OH MY KNEE,OH MY KNEE
ARE THERE ANY HONEST LAWYERS LEFT IN THIS WORLD OR ARE THEY ALL KILLING THERE CLIENTS