Cruel But Funny

THE KOD

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The best pranks are ones where no one gets hurt but it scares the chit out of someone.

I have one I remember I did one time.

This was years ago, I was working for a burglar/ fire alarm company as a shift supervisor.

One of our biggest customers was Trust Company bank. We had all their branchs, alarms, cameras, and armored car accounts. The head of their security was Brook Blake and he was one son of a biscuit to deal with.

The alarms were monitored on a meter that showed the voltage level. If the voltage dropped the alarm would go to a open position.

But the thing about it was if you cocked the switch in a certain position it would show the alarm in open just like it was a burglary.

So I was kinda bored one morning. I got in early an was relieving the other supervisor whose name was Dan.

If your the supervisor and you blow a bank alarm, miss it and not send the cops, you lose your job. No questions asked. Polygraphs , FBI , the whole deal.

So I **** the meter to the open position and silence the sounder. So now its showing a alarm condition on the meter.

I go back into a rear office and call. Dan answers the phone and it goes like this.

Yeh this is Brook Blake. I just got in at alarm 301 downtown. The vault door has a hole in it 2 feet wide and all the money is gone ! What the hell is going on down there ?

Dan - walks over and starts to observe the meter and sees that its in a open position.

Dan - Uh Uh..... well , uh ...... there was a power outage last night, and maybe ......

Brook Blake - Power outage my ass, we've been robbed.

Dan - well I uh ... I ..... I .....

So I start laughing and come out from the office with the phone in my hand and Dan sees me.

Man he was pissed. He chased me for quite a while but was unable to do me any pain. Meanwhile I was still laughing my ass off as I ran.

Anyone else got any good pranks ?
 

THE KOD

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Tell someone you can pin a glass of water to the wall -- a real glass, not a paper cup, using an ordinary straight pin. Naturally they won't believe, so you set out to prove it.

Get a glass of water and a pin. Hold the glass up to the wall and start to pin it up. And then drop the pin. You've got the glass in position just right, so you ask your victim real nice to get the pin for you. When they bend down to pick it up, dump the water on their head.

This works especially well when there's a crowd of people watching. It can also be very dangerous for the joker, so be careful if you try it.
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wtf :shrug:
 

THE KOD

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one time in my undergrad days, it was snowing like mad out. someone decided it was time a make a snowball. then someone else suggested that we should put this snowball in this one guy's room-- nobody liked this guy-- so when the word got around, half the people in our dorm section came out and help! we got this sucker so BIG that it must be at least 4 feet in diameter. it took about 6 person to haul the darn thing up 3 flights of stairs. we got the snowball into this guy's room while he was out, turn off the heat in the room and left all the windows open, so the snowball won't melt too fast. well... the turkey came back 3 hours later and found a HUGH snowball sitting in the middle of his room, and started melting! I still have the picture of the snowball. (if you really wonder how big the snowball is, just imagine a snowball the size of a normal dinning room chair!)
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that one not too bad.
 

THE KOD

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When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the hot water bottle, taped it to his stomach inside of his shirt and put a short piece of hose into the top so that it came up to the front of his shirt collar, but not visible. They both went to a local pub and sat at the bar, acting already slightly intoxicated. After having a couple of beers the guy with the hot water bottle says that he is feeling sick a couple of times and "barfs" VERY loudly all over the bar to attract attention. Naturally this causes the patrons to move away from him, all except his buddy, who calmy pulls a fork out of his coat pocket and begins EATING the stuff. ;-)
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I bet Ronnie would love that one.
 

kneifl

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hey Rolltide...

hey Rolltide...

Who are those 2 tools holding up the Colts flag in your avatar? It's not nice to make fun of retarded people, maybe you should take that avatar down.

:142smilie :142smilie

kneifl
 

THE KOD

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Recipe for LARGE quantities of soapsuds:

1. Fill a large bucket with hot water.

2. Empty contents of one bottle of dishwashing detergent into bucket (Ivory, Joy, Dawn, or equivalent).

3. Drop in a few pounds of dry ice that has been crushed to small pieces.

4. STAND BACK!

Recipe will fill a phone booth, or a small room (or even a big one). A friend and I once did this in the bed of his truck. While stopped at traffic signals the whole bed would fill up to the rim with suds. Then, as we would accelerate away from the light, large "chunks" would break loose and waft lazily through the air, causing much consternation to the traffic behind. On the freeway the result was much smaller pieces of suds billowing out of the back of the truck. It looked like a snowstorm! It's funnier to see than the description sounds. We were hysterical.

Also, the soap can be omitted from the above to obtain fog. A phone booth that is opaque with dense fog looks pretty strange too.
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I kinda like this one.
 

THE KOD

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Who are those 2 tools holding up the Colts flag in your avatar? It's not nice to make fun of retarded people, maybe you should take that avatar down.

:142smilie :142smilie

kneifl
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kneifl

this is a prank thread. Why are you in here bashing someone's avatar.

Think of one that you could play on Agent.

It would probably involve something inhumane.
 

THE KOD

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NEW YORK (AP) - David Stern acknowledged Thursday that more than half of his 56 referees had violated NBA policies about casino gambling, but said none will be punished because he felt the rules were outdated.

Instead, Stern said he is altering the policies, leaning toward allowing referees to gamble in casinos during the offseason - except for betting in sports books.
The league's strict gambling policies toward referees became public after the Tim Donaghy scandal. The NBA currently prevents its officials from entering the gaming area of a casino, or doing any betting at all except for going to race tracks during the offseason.

But Stern admitted he did a poor job of enforcing the policies, and with views toward gambling changing,:SIB :shrug: decided he wouldn't "penalize people for behavior that I'm about to change."

"It's too easy to issue rules that are on their faith violated by $5 Nassau, sitting at a poker table, buying a lottery ticket and then we can move along," Stern said after wrapping up the league's Board of Governors meetings. "And by the time I got through and I determined going into a casino isn't a capital offense ... I'm the CEO of the NBA and I'll take responsibility."

Stern also said Stu Jackson and Ronnie Nunn, in charge of monitoring officiating, will both have their roles altered. But he stressed they were being "expanded" rather than demotions - even though Jackson's job now will be divided between two people and the league will be "cutting down on some of (Nunn's) other responsibilities."

The commissioner stressed there is still no indication that any other officials were involved in illegal gambling activity, but practically all of them violated a league policy that Stern called "too harsh." That included anything from buying lottery tickets to taking part in poker games, betting on college football or taking part in NCAA tournament pools.

Stern ordered a review of the league's entire officiating program after Donaghy pleaded guilty to betting on games he worked and providing information to others to help them win bets. Though the investigation being conducted by former federal prosecutor Lawrence Pedowitz can't be completed until the federal investigation of Donaghy is wrapped up, it has already sparked some changes.

Stern said the league likely will begin listing the names of the crew of referees the morning of the game, :00hour :00hour and steps will be taken to admit when officiating mistakes were made.

Then there are the changes with Jackson and Nunn, who both came under fire after the scandal broke.

Jackson, the league's executive vice president of basketball operations, will remain in that area, but sometime this season the league will hire a full-time referee operations executive. Jackson will continue to hand out on-court discipline and deal with many of the league's international ventures, but will give up his referee responsibilities.

Nunn, the director of officials, will spend more time on the road training younger officials. The league already has hired Bernie Fryer, who retired last season, to deal with the crew chiefs. Stern said Nunn told him that "it's more valuable for him to be on the road than to do his television show."

"We are broadening and taking more responsibility and we are doing it with the people that we have and we're going to add to them," Stern said, "but certainly it's not a reduction of responsibility."

Stern also reiterated that he is not currently considering any action toward Knicks coach Isiah Thomas or Madison Square Garden chairman James Dolan in the aftermath of the ruling against them in a sexual harassment suit brought by former team executive Anucha Browne Sanders.

The trial did bring another change, however. All team personnel now will be required to set and meet minimum standards regarding sensitivity training and respect in the workplace.

The board heard what "wasn't a very uplifting report" about the situation in Seattle, where there has been no progress on funding for a new arena that would keep the SuperSonics in the city. Stern called himself an optimist but said his "optimism is waning" when it comes to the team's future there.

Donaghy's sentencing has been delayed until January, and Stern said he expects to learn further details about what the former referee did or didn't do, such as making calls to affect games, if he cooperates with investigators. But Stern dismissed the notion that this season is more important than any other because of the scrutiny the league has been under since the summer.

"We evolve, we respond, we grow," he said.
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this is a prank
 

SoCalYo

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I didn't read the whole thing but your prank was lame.

Kneifl - you are just stupid

gotta run, gotta go pee on some fires kurby
 

dunclock

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Everyone remembers the big scare when the millineum hit and nobody was sure if the all the computers and companies could handle the change over to 2000. My best buddy owned a bar here for 15 years and we had a big New Years Eve party. Soon as the clock struck midnight, I snuck in the back and hit the main breaker switch and knocked off all the power. Talk about a lot of people freaking out:mj07:
 

RollTide72

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Everyone remembers the big scare when the millineum hit and nobody was sure if the all the computers and companies could handle the change over to 2000. My best buddy owned a bar here for 15 years and we had a big New Years Eve party. Soon as the clock struck midnight, I snuck in the back and hit the main breaker switch and knocked off all the power. Talk about a lot of people freaking out:mj07:

:142smilie :142smilie :142smilie :142smilie
 

THE KOD

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Everyone remembers the big scare when the millineum hit and nobody was sure if the all the computers and companies could handle the change over to 2000. My best buddy owned a bar here for 15 years and we had a big New Years Eve party. Soon as the clock struck midnight, I snuck in the back and hit the main breaker switch and knocked off all the power. Talk about a lot of people freaking out:mj07:

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Gary

Oh mommy !

:142smilie :142smilie :142smilie
 

DOGS THAT BARK

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Had Chemistry teacher in high school that was bald headed and always wore a hat when coming or leaving school. Chem class was last hour and he left the room for some reason one afternoon and I put nitric acid on his hat band. He had yellow-brown ring around his forehead for about 6 weeks.

nitic acid will stain skin permantly--only leaves after skin cells are replaced--:)
 

SixFive

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Had Chemistry teacher in high school that was bald headed and always wore a hat when coming or leaving school. Chem class was last hour and he left the room for some reason one afternoon and I put nitric acid on his hat band. He had yellow-brown ring around his forehead for about 6 weeks.

nitric acid will stain skin permantly--only leaves after skin cells are replaced--:)

:mj07: :SIB
 
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