Are you a....

T

Tenzing

Registered
Forum Member
Jun 14, 2002
274
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56
Austin, Texas
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?


Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

__________________________________________________


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN






Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

________________ __________________________________


Republican's Answer:

BANG!

__________________________________________________


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?!"

Wife: "You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist."
 
Chadman

Chadman

Realist
Forum Member
Apr 2, 2000
7,501
42
48
SW Missouri
I lean democratic, and I would be somewhere between the Republican and Southerner response, as would most dems I'm familiar with.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled laughs...
 
smurphy

smurphy

cartographer
Forum Member
Jul 31, 2004
19,914
140
63
17
L.A.
Tenzing said:
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
Click to expand...

I believe only a Southern Republican actually has these fantasies. ...Probably nightly....hourly....hell, maybe even more than thinking about sex.

The REAL response is of course to stare at a childrens book for 10 minutes and then burn down the house of a guy down the street who likes him.
 
Jaxx

Jaxx

Go Pokes!
Forum Member
Jan 5, 2003
7,084
88
48
FL
:mj07:

Thanks for the laugh. I needed it.

Tenzing said:
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?


Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

__________________________________________________


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN






Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

________________ __________________________________


Republican's Answer:

BANG!

__________________________________________________


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?!"

Wife: "You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist."
Click to expand...
 
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