"Pawn Stars" transcript

[kickserv]

Customer: I have a Time Machine I'd like to sell.

Rick: A Time Machine huh, can I try it out?

Customer: Sure

Rick: Well it seems to work, I just transported to the building of the pyramids, so how much ya want for it?

Customer: I was thinking somewhere around 900 million?

Rick: 900 million huh, nope can't do that. Maybe at auction you'd get 900 million, but with all the fees they charge you'll only make about 90 bucks.

Customer: 90 bucks huh, can you do a little better?

Rick: Well I see it needs a new paint job, that's going to cost me some bucks, tell ya what I'll give ya 50 bucks cash money.

Customer: can ya do 60?

Rick: 50, that's my offer.

Customer: Ok fine, 50 bucks.

 

[Glenn Quagmire]

Nice. Although you should probably have the final offer be over $100, that way you can throw in Rick's "crisp $100 bills" line. :142smilie

 

[The Joker]

If Jack tried to sell something at the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop

If Jack tried to sell something at the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop

Jack: I have a real pirates treasure chest from the Caribbean.

Rick: I don't know shit. Let me call a buddy and he will verify it.

Jack: Fine.

Expert: It's real and worth about $80,000 (leaves pawn shop)

Rick: So how much you want for it?

Jack: How about $60,000 - you know, to be fair.

Rick: How about no. Tell you what, I will give you $300 in one hundred dollar bills.

Jack: How about I shove my fist so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...

Rick: Look there is no need for viole.......

Jack: Oh, wait! I got a better idea. Instead of 300 dollars, how about I give you a round of hobo's dick cheese? You can lather it on your bald head.

Rick: Ok - $400 that't the best I can do.

Jack: Your mother is a cankerous whore. Holla bitch!

END TRANSCRIPT

 

[Ghost Kid]

:142smilie :142smilie :142smilie :142smilie

Awesome.

The "experts" they call in are all in on it too. They know if they play it Rick's way, they can be on TV again and get deals at the shop.
For some of these cats (the gun expert, the museum guy) coming over to the shop a few times a week and getting their faces on HISTORY channel is the equivalent of strippers and blow. The museum dude looks like he is gonna cream his paints everytime he walks in the door.

"Well, Rick, what do we got here today?"

 

[vinnie]

...........................................................:sadwave:

 

[The Joker]

...........................................................:sadwave:

You missed a dot.

 

[kickserv]

"crisp 100 dollar bills"......gets em everytime:SIB

 

[King69]

Jack: I have a real pirates treasure chest from the Caribbean.

Rick: I don't know shit. Let me call a buddy and he will verify it.

Jack: Fine.

Expert: It's real and worth about $80,000 (leaves pawn shop)

Rick: So how much you want for it?

Jack: How about $60,000 - you know, to be fair.

Rick: How about no. Tell you what, I will give you $300 in one hundred dollar bills.

Jack: How about I shove my fist so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...

Rick: Look there is no need for viole.......

Jack: Oh, wait! I got a better idea. Instead of 300 dollars, how about I give you a round of hobo's dick cheese? You can lather it on your bald head.

Rick: Ok - $400 that't the best I can do.

Jack: Your mother is a cankerous whore. Holla bitch!

END TRANSCRIPT

Attempt at humor......FAIL

 

[The Joker]

Attempt at humor......FAIL

You win!

You always do!!

 

[King69]

You win!

You always do!!

OK now that is funny shit ! :00hour

 

[vinnie]

Attempt at humor......FAIL

.............:sadwave:

 

[Ghost Kid]

how bout the dude who walked in with the Paul Revere autograph from the 1700s. The museum clerk tells him and Rick its worth 35,000.

Rick offers the guy 12,000.
The guy says 15,000.
Rick says 12,000 plus a guitar and the fuker takes it !

Just crazy. I mean If I hear I got something that is worth 30 grand, and I get a 12,000 offer, I walk out on the spot. These guys are horrible negotiators, desperate for cash, or just plain stupid !

 

[saint]

how bout the dude who walked in with the Paul Revere autograph from the 1700s. The museum clerk tells him and Rick its worth 35,000.

Rick offers the guy 12,000.
The guy says 15,000.
Rick says 12,000 plus a guitar and the fuker takes it !

Just crazy. I mean If I hear I got something that is worth 30 grand, and I get a 12,000 offer, I walk out on the spot. These guys are horrible negotiators, desperate for cash, or just plain stupid !

Desparate for cash.

Don't forget if they auctioned it the auction house would take some money and it takes a while to set up, and then they can get no bids on it.

 

[kickserv]

Read transcript above about Rick and the auction shit:142smilie

 

[lawtchan]

how bout the dude who walked in with the Paul Revere autograph from the 1700s. The museum clerk tells him and Rick its worth 35,000.

Rick offers the guy 12,000.
The guy says 15,000.
Rick says 12,000 plus a guitar and the fuker takes it !

Just crazy. I mean If I hear I got something that is worth 30 grand, and I get a 12,000 offer, I walk out on the spot. These guys are horrible negotiators, desperate for cash, or just plain stupid !

:sadwave: :sadwave: :sadwave:

last night, guy sells colt revolver for 2000.00...

goes outside "Now I got some money for the craps table":sadwave: :sadwave: :sadwave:



how about all these young guys who have something handed down from great grandfather, grandfather, dad, to them...

"PAWN IT"...:violin: :violin:

 

[The Sponge]

Kick how many things can u see bought? nah kidding. i like this show.

 

[Ghost Kid]

Pawn Stars Vegas Reality Star is a Real Con Man
http://www.gambling911.com/entertai...ty-star-real-con-man-011510.html#comment-3788