Blowing The Inheritance

C

Clem D

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Recently after I took the Seahag bowling for her birthday we got back to the estate and checked the mail. Now that is my job because old shit the bed gets her pork chob mit stuck in the mailbox everytime. Long story short there was a letter from My brothers kid, Sissy the fag. It seems my brother left me a few bucks when he sold the Buick back in April. 3k to be exact. I know big deal, but hey it's better than nothing. Needless to say the Fat bitch ain't going to know anything about this. Otherwise she'd have the whole thing invested in Tastykakes again like she did when her mom got hit by the Uhaul.
I decided to put this money to work for me being the smart guy that I am. If brother could not afford to leave me the kind of inheritance I deserve fuck him. I'll invest it in something foolproof until I have the amount I need. AFter careful thinking I was left with a couple of tough choices on where to put my money. Meth or Hookers. :00hour After countless hours of research on the latter of the two I realyzed both were a little to risky. After careful deliberation and pissing in the seahags Iced Tea jug I have decided the best and safest way to grow my nest egg is to bet it on Football.:sadwave:
So in this thread every week I will post the plays and keep both of you aprised of my progress :rolleyes: Every week old Clem Will make a 3 team parly in College and The Pros. If all goes the way it should I should be able to help Sissy with his sex change in no time.:0corn
Risking $300 to win 1800
Oklahoma-23
Rutgers over 42
TCU over 48

Tease it 550 to win 500
Ok -13
Ruptures over 32
TCu over 38
 
The Joker

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Clem D said:
Recently after I took the Seahag bowling for her birthday we got back to the estate and checked the mail. Now that is my job because old shit the bed gets her pork chob mit stuck in the mailbox everytime. Long story short there was a letter from My brothers kid, Sissy the fag. It seems my brother left me a few bucks when he sold the Buick back in April. 3k to be exact. I know big deal, but hey it's better than nothing. Needless to say the Fat bitch ain't going to know anything about this. Otherwise she'd have the whole thing invested in Tastykakes again like she did when her mom got hit by the Uhaul.
I decided to put this money to work for me being the smart guy that I am. If brother could not afford to leave me the kind of inheritance I deserve fuck him. I'll invest it in something foolproof until I have the amount I need. AFter careful thinking I was left with a couple of tough choices on where to put my money. Meth or Hookers. :00hour After countless hours of research on the latter of the two I realyzed both were a little to risky. After careful deliberation and pissing in the seahags Iced Tea jug I have decided the best and safest way to grow my nest egg is to bet it on Football.:sadwave:
So in this thread every week I will post the plays and keep both of you aprised of my progress :rolleyes: Every week old Clem Will make a 3 team parly in College and The Pros. If all goes the way it should I should be able to help Sissy with his sex change in no time.:0corn
Risking $300 to win 1800
Oklahoma-23
Rutgers over 42
TCU over 48

Tease it 550 to win 500
Ok -13
Ruptures over 32
TCu over 38
Click to expand...



You win the award for best introduction to a football betting thread EVER!!!!

Priceless.......:mj07: :mj07: :mj07: :mj07: :mj07:
 
Wineguy

Wineguy

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Maybe tough Karma for the way you talk about the people in your family. Thanks for the OK call in your other thread and Bryan making it a confirmation.
 
IX_Bender

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Some people dont sugarcoat their fucked up families.


Dunno why this is in general instead of NCAA foots, and cant disagree more with playing heavy on parlays and teasers, but found the writeup pretty enjoyable.


Flat bet. Play aggressive and go max 20% of your BR if you wanna 'roll' so to speak.
 
C

Clem D

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IX_Bender said:
Some people dont sugarcoat their fucked up families.


Dunno why this is in general instead of NCAA foots, and cant disagree more with playing heavy on parlays and teasers, but found the writeup pretty enjoyable.


Flat bet. Play aggressive and go max 20% of your BR if you wanna 'roll' so to speak.
Click to expand...

IX I know teasers and Parlays are bad investments but you can't tell my friend Clem anything. I put it in General because I'm going to keep it going the rest of the year and use NFL and College.
 
C

Clem D

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The Seahag has a few friends coming by to watch some chick flick and drink wine all day which means Ol' Clem is out doors today. What will I ever do? I'm definitely headed to the Brazillian massage place for a quick rub and tug before heading off to catch the second half of the early games and eat some wings at BWW. I hope I'm able to make a deposit at location number one today. I'ts normally not an issue for this old guy, but the mad shitter asked me if I could make some food for her hen party. :mj07: Will that bitch ever learn? On the menu today you ask? My famous New England "CLEM" Chowder. I was up to 4am chopping celery and potatoes and watching internet porn so I could harvest the secret ingredient. I think my last go round I pulled out some knee cartillage. Enjoy ladies. I've been telling her friend erin for years I'd get into her eventually.:142smilie
and she thought she didn't swallow
Uncle Clem's Parlay
300 to win 1800
Saints-4
Pats over 44.5
Bear over 37.5

Tease it 660 to win 600
Saints+6
Pats 0ver 34.5
Bear over 27.5

This Clem parlay and tease are founfd money.

I would make the parlay worth half a unit and the teaser worth 1.5 if I were using serious Management
 
Last edited:
C

Clem D

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In the hole 580 so far.
Uncle Clem has been having a tough time with the Seahag lately. You guys all no she has a spastic colon and a tremendous gas problem right? Well now that bitch started eating deviled eggs again. Good god Chateau Clem smells worse than a room full of cab drivers on Laundry day. I went and got me one of those Glade Plugins and tried to "Plug" it into her ass, but the hag still goes about 275 and that bitch can throw you when she gets a head of steam. I found out later these glade things actually when you plug them into an electrical outlet. Who knew? Anyway I'm hAving the boys over today to rent hookers and watch a few games. Last thing I need is that stinky bitch coming out of her cave and wrecking things, so I made her some of my famous ex lax chip pancakes. I timed things perfectly this time and the with the help of my trusty tube of crazy glue the hag is stuck on the bowl for awhile.

400 to win 2400
Fresno -19.5
Fresno Over 51
va tech -27

teaser 880 to win 800
fresno-9.5
over 41
vatech-17
 
C

Clem D

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Fresno took a knee on the 8 to end the game. They Score and hookers all around. Oh well the teaser cashes picked up $400 of the inheritence back from Shmuly the Jew. Tomorrow we try again
 
J

jimmy42

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Clem
Every time you post i have tears rolling down cheeks




you a riot, keep posting
 
C

Clem D

Mad Pisser
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In case you missed it yesterday in the NFL forum we missed the parlay because Norv Turner who looks just like my mother in law did when she was embalmed by the undertakers kid brother because Larry the Stiff as we call the undertaker was locked up on some trumped up larceny charges. They thought he was robbing peoples homes while they were grieving at the parlor. Turns out it was his kid Dingbat Lenny.
Anyway here are the picks from yesterday and I'm alive in a pretty big teaser.
Uncle Clem's Blowing the Inheritence.. parlay

500 to win 3k
(Do not try this at home) it is worth 1 betting unit though.

Cowboys will be a desperate bunch when the kickoff against my Gmen tomorrow. They are due way up and are the better team on paper Giants are due down this week and are running into a hornets nest. Boys -3

Seattle Arizona over 40. Cards off the bye should have some things figured out for the rookie Qb. Beanie Wells will have a big day. Seattle will score a little as well. I see a 24-20 game.

SD-3
If the Chargers were not so banged up tyhis would have been a big play for me. Pats play Ot last week against one of the most physical teams than flys west to play against the Chargers who are desperate and due way up while the Pats are due down. Meaning Chargers should have more wins and pats have more wins than they should at least according to my numbers.

Teaser 880 to win 800(again don't try at home)
(worth 4 units though)
Dallas +7
card over 30
Sd+7

Blow the inheritence plays are tracked at the unit rate given


Anyway being alive in a sizeable teaser I have to try to catch a middle here right?

Giants +3

880/800

Am I saying that Right?
 
C

Clem D

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Saturday 10/30v

500 to win 3k
The Blowing the inheritence parlay worth
1.5 units
Southern Miss- 9.5
over in that game 54.5
Smu mustangs -8


Teaser worth 1650 to win 1500
+ .5
over 44.5
smu +2
 
C

Clem D

Mad Pisser
Forum Member
May 26, 2004
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Clem D said:
Saturday 10/30v

500 to win 3k
The Blowing the inheritence parlay worth
1.5 units
Southern Miss- 9.5
over in that game 54.5
Smu mustangs -8


Teaser worth 1650 to win 1500
+ .5
over 44.5
smu +2
Click to expand...

:sadwave: :facepalm:
lost the big teaser by a hook
 
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