I just recieved this e-mail. Thought it was pretty funny.
Here's the Darwin Awards. They speak for themselves.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Subject: FW: 2004 Darwin Awards
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > > Yes, these are all true. They are finally out again. You all
>>know
>> > > > about the Darwin Awards. It's an annual honor given to the
>>person who
>> > > > did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves
>>in the
>> > > > most extraordinarily stupid way.
>> > > >
>> > > > Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke
>>machine
>> > > > which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip
>>a free
>> > > Soda out of it.
>> > > >
>> > > > And the nominees this year are:
>> > > >
>> > > 9. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
>> > > > cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol,
>>mixed
>> > > > gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made
>>him
>> > > > ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This
>>resulting
>> > > > explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him
>>and his
>> > > > sister.
>> > > >
>> > > > 8. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of
>>his home
>> > > > died of suffocation, according to police. He was
>>approximately 6'2"
>> > > > tall and weighed 225 pounds. he was wearing a pleated
>>skirt, white
>> > > > bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It
>>appeared
>>that
>> > he
>> > > was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also
>>wearing a
>> > > military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a
>>rubber
>> > > hose
>> > > attached in its place.. The other end of the hose was
>>connected to one
>> > > end
>> > > of a hollow tube
>> > > > approx.12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was
>>inserted
>> > > > into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of
>>his
>> > > suffocation.
>> > > Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his
>>death to
>> > > his
>> > > > family very awkward.
>> > > >
>> > > > 7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at
>>low altitude
>> > > > when another plane approached. It appears that they decided
>> > > to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of
>>their own
>> > > aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage
>>with
>> > > their
>> > > pants
>> > > > around their ankles.
>> > > >
>> > > > 6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had
>>no
>> > > > details before arriving, except that someone had reported
>>that his
>> > > > father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found
>>the man face
>> > > down on
>> > > the couch naked. When she rolled him over to check for a
>>pulse and to
>> > > start
>> > > CPR, she
>> > > > noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance
>>arrived
>> > > > and
>> > > removed the
>> > > man - who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital -the
>>police made
>> > > a
>> > > > closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man had
>>made a
>> > > hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch over, they
>>discovered
>> > > > what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had a habit
>>of putting
>> > > > his
>> > > penis
>> > > > between the cushions, down into the hole and between two
>>electrical
>> > > > sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons).
>>According
>> > > to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one
>>of the
>> > > sanders,
>> > > > electrocuting him.
>> > > >
>> > > > 5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a
>>highway
>> > > > near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring
>>her
>> > > > passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road
>>accident, this
>> > > > would
>> > > not
>> > > have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the
>>fact that
>> > > the
>> > > > driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key
>>ring,
>> > > > which had started urgently beeping for food as she drove
>>along. In an
>> > > > attempt to press the correct buttons to save the
>>Tamagotchi's life,
>> > > > the woman lost her own.
>> > > >
>> > > > 4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found
>>dead after he
>> > > > tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot
>>railroad
>> > > > trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food
>>worker,
>> > > > taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end
>>around one
>> > > > foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink
>>Park,
>> > > > jumped and
>> > > hit the
>> > > > pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
>>investigators
>> > > > think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby.
>>"The length
>>of
>> > > the
>> > > > cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance
>>between the
>> > > trestle and
>> > > > the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause
>>of death
>> > > > was
>> > > > "Major trauma."
>> > > >
>> > > > 3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems
>>that he and
>> > > > a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake
>>as a
>> > > ball. The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate,
>>was
>> > > hospitalized.
>> > > >
>> > > > 2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas
>>noticed the
>> > > > smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the
>>building
>> > > > extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights,
>>power, etc.
>> > > After the
>> > > > building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
>>company were
>> > > > dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had
>>difficulty
>> > > > navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the
>>lights
>> > > > worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the
>> > > technicians
>> > > > reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that
>>resembled a
>> > > > cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like
>>object, the gas
>>in
>> > > the
>> > > > warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles
>>away.
>> > > > Nothing
>> > > was
>> > > > found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually
>>untouched by
>> > > > the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast
>>had never
>> > > been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
>> > > >
>> > > > AND THE WINNER.....
>> > > >
>> > > > 1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome,
>>Everitt
>> > > > Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at
>>the local
>> > > golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are
>>a bad
>> > > mix,
>> > > > Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his
>>scrotum in
>> > > > the
>> > >
>> > > > machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the
>>ante by
>> > > > spinning
>> > > the
>> > > > crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus
>>wedging
>> > > > them
>> > > > solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed
>>his
>>threshold
>> > of
>> > > pain,
>> > > > collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for
>>Sanchez, the
>> > > > height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off
>>the ground
>> > than
>> > > his
>> > > > testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the
>>weakest
>> > > link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and
>>one
>> > > testicle
>> > > was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer,
>>while the
>> > > other
>> > > > testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled
>>between the
>> > > > housing
>> > > of
>> > > the washer and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to
>>injury,
>> > > > Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased
>>from the
>> > > > pro
>> > > shop,
>> > > > and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the
>>hospital
>> > > > for
>> > > > surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the
>>course.
>> > > >
>> > > > Note: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the
>>idiot didn't
>> > > > die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his
>>qualifying act
>> > > > of stupidity, we have not only allowed it but have awarded
>>it first
>> > > > place. OUCH!
>> >
>> >
Here's the Darwin Awards. They speak for themselves.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Subject: FW: 2004 Darwin Awards
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > > Yes, these are all true. They are finally out again. You all
>>know
>> > > > about the Darwin Awards. It's an annual honor given to the
>>person who
>> > > > did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves
>>in the
>> > > > most extraordinarily stupid way.
>> > > >
>> > > > Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke
>>machine
>> > > > which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip
>>a free
>> > > Soda out of it.
>> > > >
>> > > > And the nominees this year are:
>> > > >
>> > > 9. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
>> > > > cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol,
>>mixed
>> > > > gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made
>>him
>> > > > ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This
>>resulting
>> > > > explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him
>>and his
>> > > > sister.
>> > > >
>> > > > 8. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of
>>his home
>> > > > died of suffocation, according to police. He was
>>approximately 6'2"
>> > > > tall and weighed 225 pounds. he was wearing a pleated
>>skirt, white
>> > > > bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It
>>appeared
>>that
>> > he
>> > > was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also
>>wearing a
>> > > military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a
>>rubber
>> > > hose
>> > > attached in its place.. The other end of the hose was
>>connected to one
>> > > end
>> > > of a hollow tube
>> > > > approx.12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was
>>inserted
>> > > > into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of
>>his
>> > > suffocation.
>> > > Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his
>>death to
>> > > his
>> > > > family very awkward.
>> > > >
>> > > > 7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at
>>low altitude
>> > > > when another plane approached. It appears that they decided
>> > > to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of
>>their own
>> > > aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage
>>with
>> > > their
>> > > pants
>> > > > around their ankles.
>> > > >
>> > > > 6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had
>>no
>> > > > details before arriving, except that someone had reported
>>that his
>> > > > father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found
>>the man face
>> > > down on
>> > > the couch naked. When she rolled him over to check for a
>>pulse and to
>> > > start
>> > > CPR, she
>> > > > noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance
>>arrived
>> > > > and
>> > > removed the
>> > > man - who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital -the
>>police made
>> > > a
>> > > > closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man had
>>made a
>> > > hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch over, they
>>discovered
>> > > > what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had a habit
>>of putting
>> > > > his
>> > > penis
>> > > > between the cushions, down into the hole and between two
>>electrical
>> > > > sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons).
>>According
>> > > to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one
>>of the
>> > > sanders,
>> > > > electrocuting him.
>> > > >
>> > > > 5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a
>>highway
>> > > > near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring
>>her
>> > > > passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road
>>accident, this
>> > > > would
>> > > not
>> > > have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the
>>fact that
>> > > the
>> > > > driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key
>>ring,
>> > > > which had started urgently beeping for food as she drove
>>along. In an
>> > > > attempt to press the correct buttons to save the
>>Tamagotchi's life,
>> > > > the woman lost her own.
>> > > >
>> > > > 4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found
>>dead after he
>> > > > tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot
>>railroad
>> > > > trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food
>>worker,
>> > > > taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end
>>around one
>> > > > foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink
>>Park,
>> > > > jumped and
>> > > hit the
>> > > > pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
>>investigators
>> > > > think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby.
>>"The length
>>of
>> > > the
>> > > > cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance
>>between the
>> > > trestle and
>> > > > the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause
>>of death
>> > > > was
>> > > > "Major trauma."
>> > > >
>> > > > 3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems
>>that he and
>> > > > a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake
>>as a
>> > > ball. The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate,
>>was
>> > > hospitalized.
>> > > >
>> > > > 2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas
>>noticed the
>> > > > smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the
>>building
>> > > > extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights,
>>power, etc.
>> > > After the
>> > > > building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
>>company were
>> > > > dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had
>>difficulty
>> > > > navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the
>>lights
>> > > > worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the
>> > > technicians
>> > > > reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that
>>resembled a
>> > > > cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like
>>object, the gas
>>in
>> > > the
>> > > > warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles
>>away.
>> > > > Nothing
>> > > was
>> > > > found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually
>>untouched by
>> > > > the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast
>>had never
>> > > been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
>> > > >
>> > > > AND THE WINNER.....
>> > > >
>> > > > 1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome,
>>Everitt
>> > > > Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at
>>the local
>> > > golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are
>>a bad
>> > > mix,
>> > > > Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his
>>scrotum in
>> > > > the
>> > >
>> > > > machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the
>>ante by
>> > > > spinning
>> > > the
>> > > > crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus
>>wedging
>> > > > them
>> > > > solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed
>>his
>>threshold
>> > of
>> > > pain,
>> > > > collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for
>>Sanchez, the
>> > > > height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off
>>the ground
>> > than
>> > > his
>> > > > testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the
>>weakest
>> > > link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and
>>one
>> > > testicle
>> > > was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer,
>>while the
>> > > other
>> > > > testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled
>>between the
>> > > > housing
>> > > of
>> > > the washer and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to
>>injury,
>> > > > Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased
>>from the
>> > > > pro
>> > > shop,
>> > > > and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the
>>hospital
>> > > > for
>> > > > surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the
>>course.
>> > > >
>> > > > Note: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the
>>idiot didn't
>> > > > die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his
>>qualifying act
>> > > > of stupidity, we have not only allowed it but have awarded
>>it first
>> > > > place. OUCH!
>> >
>> >
