Two old men decide they are close to their last days on earth and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks they end up at the local bordello. The madam takes a look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "go up to the first two rooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I am not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."
Her manager does as he is told and the two old men go up stairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first one says, " You know, I think my girl was dead!" "Dead?". says his friend, "why would you think that?" "Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."
His friend says, "I think mine was a witch." "A WITCH!!! Why the hell would you say that?" "Well, I was about to make love to her and as I was kissing her on her nipple I gave it a little bite and she farted and flew out the friggin window!"
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to arm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He thinks that the one thing he never did was to teach these natives how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
He points to a tree and tells the chief, "this is a tree". The chief looks at the tree and grunts "tree". The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the Padre points to a rock and says "this is a rock" at which the chief looks and grunts, "rock".
The Padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peaks over the top he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The Padre is
really flustered and quickly responds, "riding a bike".
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them.
The Padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people.
The chief replied, "my bike".
Her manager does as he is told and the two old men go up stairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first one says, " You know, I think my girl was dead!" "Dead?". says his friend, "why would you think that?" "Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."
His friend says, "I think mine was a witch." "A WITCH!!! Why the hell would you say that?" "Well, I was about to make love to her and as I was kissing her on her nipple I gave it a little bite and she farted and flew out the friggin window!"
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to arm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He thinks that the one thing he never did was to teach these natives how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
He points to a tree and tells the chief, "this is a tree". The chief looks at the tree and grunts "tree". The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the Padre points to a rock and says "this is a rock" at which the chief looks and grunts, "rock".
The Padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peaks over the top he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The Padre is
really flustered and quickly responds, "riding a bike".
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them.
The Padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people.
The chief replied, "my bike".
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