A boy is going through puberty, and decides, one day, to ask his father about the birds and the bees.
He's out helping his father work on the car when he finally decides to ask the questions... "Dad, what's a woman's vagina look like?" the son begins.
"Well, before or after sex?" the father asks.
The boy says, "Well, I guess before..."
The father replies "The most beautiful rose, waiting to be plucked."
'Wow, really!" the boy replies. "How about after then?"
"Hmm, a tougher question." The father ponders for a second.....
"Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
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Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?" So the farmer leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down the barn. They walk along long row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one. This one right here."
Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?"
"That's simple. By the nail over its stall," Amy explains. Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"
"I guess it's to hang your pants on," she tells him as she walks away.
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A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he
is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of
peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him
another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the
peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of
their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.
"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady
answers, 'We just love the chocolate around them'.
He's out helping his father work on the car when he finally decides to ask the questions... "Dad, what's a woman's vagina look like?" the son begins.
"Well, before or after sex?" the father asks.
The boy says, "Well, I guess before..."
The father replies "The most beautiful rose, waiting to be plucked."
'Wow, really!" the boy replies. "How about after then?"
"Hmm, a tougher question." The father ponders for a second.....
"Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?" So the farmer leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down the barn. They walk along long row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one. This one right here."
Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?"
"That's simple. By the nail over its stall," Amy explains. Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"
"I guess it's to hang your pants on," she tells him as she walks away.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he
is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of
peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him
another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the
peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of
their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.
"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady
answers, 'We just love the chocolate around them'.
