~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After twenty-five years of marriage, Brent is lying on his deathbed and with a tear in his eye he says "Sara before I die I have to tell you something".
She replies "Yes, yes dear anything what is it?"
He starts,"The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia
and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health." To which the wife nods her head and he continues, "When I lost half my family in the terrible car crash, it was you by my side who kept me going. When our kids grew up and ran away from home, you sat with me and comforted me! And when I lost everything last year in the fire at the store, you were right by my side the whole time. Sara You've been through everything with me." Brent says, "So before I die I just want you to know you're a freakin' jinx!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tommy decides to join the Navy.
On his first day of service, he gets aquatinted with all the facilities
around the ship that he will be serving on. Tommy asks the sailor
showing him around, "What do you guys do around here when you get really horny after months of being out at sea?", to which the other replies, "Well, there is this barrel on the upper deck, just pump your cock in the side with the hole." Weeks pass, and Tommy is getting real horny and remembers the barrel.
He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. Flings his shlong out and starts f***ing the barrel. Its simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, it was truly a success! After he was done, zipped up and merrily walking along, the guy who originally told him about the barrel walks by. "That barrel was really great! I could do it every day!" To which the other crew member replies, "Yeah, you can every day except Thursday."
Confused, Tommy asks why, to which the other guy replies, "Because its your turn in the barrel on Thursday."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would rise. Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still. Confused, he asked, "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don't?""Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:thefinger :thefinger :thefinger
After twenty-five years of marriage, Brent is lying on his deathbed and with a tear in his eye he says "Sara before I die I have to tell you something".
She replies "Yes, yes dear anything what is it?"
He starts,"The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia
and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health." To which the wife nods her head and he continues, "When I lost half my family in the terrible car crash, it was you by my side who kept me going. When our kids grew up and ran away from home, you sat with me and comforted me! And when I lost everything last year in the fire at the store, you were right by my side the whole time. Sara You've been through everything with me." Brent says, "So before I die I just want you to know you're a freakin' jinx!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tommy decides to join the Navy.
On his first day of service, he gets aquatinted with all the facilities
around the ship that he will be serving on. Tommy asks the sailor
showing him around, "What do you guys do around here when you get really horny after months of being out at sea?", to which the other replies, "Well, there is this barrel on the upper deck, just pump your cock in the side with the hole." Weeks pass, and Tommy is getting real horny and remembers the barrel.
He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. Flings his shlong out and starts f***ing the barrel. Its simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, it was truly a success! After he was done, zipped up and merrily walking along, the guy who originally told him about the barrel walks by. "That barrel was really great! I could do it every day!" To which the other crew member replies, "Yeah, you can every day except Thursday."
Confused, Tommy asks why, to which the other guy replies, "Because its your turn in the barrel on Thursday."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would rise. Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still. Confused, he asked, "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don't?""Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:thefinger :thefinger :thefinger
