Just got this E-Mail from a friend overseas and thought it was worth a post.
Are you a listener or a talker?
As we get older we tend to dominate the conversation and forget the fine art of listening. So often we don't listen to our children, our companions or to those we care about. We talk on and on about our experiences or viewpoints or knowledge without giving others the opportunity to express themselves. Think about the friends who really listen to us; we move them forward in our lives and we want to bask in their company and enjoy their presence. But do we listen to others? When we are listened to, we create, it makes us unfold and come to life. When a friend laughs at our jokes, we become even more creative and funnier and funnier. If he does not, every little joke within us withers and dies. Think about it; it makes people happy and free when they are listened to. And if you are a listener it is the secret of having a good time in social occasions because everyone around you wants to be near you and share their experiences.
When you have a problem, who do you go to for advice? Not the practical ones who tell you exactly what to do, but the listeners, the kindest least censorious and least bossy people that you know. It is because when pouring out your problems to these listeners, you figure out what to do about it yourself.
We all know those brilliant successful people who have never acquired the art of listening. They lecture us about their experience and successes and don't give us a chance to express ourselves. They ramble on and on spouting their wisdom until boredom sets in and we lose track of the conversation and our mind processes begin to wander.
When people listen to us and we share their conversation, the creative fountain within us begins to spout and to accelerate. For this to work, we have to take care not to dominate the conversation and to give others the chance to express themselves and their opinions.
Try it! Next chance you get, try encouraging others to express themselves and be eager to listen carefully to what they have to offer. Ask questions, showing genuine interest in what they have to say and encourage them to expand the topic. It may be a bit painful at first but you will soon be the person who is invited to affairs and to whom people love to associate.
Have you ever thought the next day about someone, perhaps yourself, who had a little too much to drink and talked continuously all evening? I can recall when I went to a party I would think anxiously, "now try hard, say exciting things, talk and don't let down." Now when I attend, I tell myself to listen with affection to anyone who talks to me, to show a keen interest and press them for details, not arguing or changing the subject. My attitude is "tell me more"; This person is showing me their soul. If I listen and ask questions, presently he will begin to think, not just talk automatically and show his true self. Then he will be wonderfully alive.
Unless you listen, people are wizened in your presence. They become about a third of themselves. Try to restrain yourself in the next social gathering. Try listening and drawing conversation out of people and notice the difference that it makes. Remember, listening, not talking, is the gifted and greatest role.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you a listener or a talker?
As we get older we tend to dominate the conversation and forget the fine art of listening. So often we don't listen to our children, our companions or to those we care about. We talk on and on about our experiences or viewpoints or knowledge without giving others the opportunity to express themselves. Think about the friends who really listen to us; we move them forward in our lives and we want to bask in their company and enjoy their presence. But do we listen to others? When we are listened to, we create, it makes us unfold and come to life. When a friend laughs at our jokes, we become even more creative and funnier and funnier. If he does not, every little joke within us withers and dies. Think about it; it makes people happy and free when they are listened to. And if you are a listener it is the secret of having a good time in social occasions because everyone around you wants to be near you and share their experiences.
When you have a problem, who do you go to for advice? Not the practical ones who tell you exactly what to do, but the listeners, the kindest least censorious and least bossy people that you know. It is because when pouring out your problems to these listeners, you figure out what to do about it yourself.
We all know those brilliant successful people who have never acquired the art of listening. They lecture us about their experience and successes and don't give us a chance to express ourselves. They ramble on and on spouting their wisdom until boredom sets in and we lose track of the conversation and our mind processes begin to wander.
When people listen to us and we share their conversation, the creative fountain within us begins to spout and to accelerate. For this to work, we have to take care not to dominate the conversation and to give others the chance to express themselves and their opinions.
Try it! Next chance you get, try encouraging others to express themselves and be eager to listen carefully to what they have to offer. Ask questions, showing genuine interest in what they have to say and encourage them to expand the topic. It may be a bit painful at first but you will soon be the person who is invited to affairs and to whom people love to associate.
Have you ever thought the next day about someone, perhaps yourself, who had a little too much to drink and talked continuously all evening? I can recall when I went to a party I would think anxiously, "now try hard, say exciting things, talk and don't let down." Now when I attend, I tell myself to listen with affection to anyone who talks to me, to show a keen interest and press them for details, not arguing or changing the subject. My attitude is "tell me more"; This person is showing me their soul. If I listen and ask questions, presently he will begin to think, not just talk automatically and show his true self. Then he will be wonderfully alive.
Unless you listen, people are wizened in your presence. They become about a third of themselves. Try to restrain yourself in the next social gathering. Try listening and drawing conversation out of people and notice the difference that it makes. Remember, listening, not talking, is the gifted and greatest role.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
