Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Justinsmom829

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Bartenders Psychology:

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer

Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink: Blender Drink
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.


Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink...................


Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.


Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.


Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!


Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.


THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay
 

ESSO

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Damn, fromt his it looks liek I am all over the place. The only things I dont drink are tequilla, white zinfandel, and blender drinks (thank God for that, I think that is the worst one)
 

Private Petey

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toxic mixture

toxic mixture

Jasonsmom, I peg you as a cross between shots and blender drinks. JMO


PP
 

Justinsmom829

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Am I going to have to report you to Madjacks Police? If you keep following me around I may have to. I don't know how many times I can tell you that your school boy antics are ridiculous. You just aren't my type. Please get over it already.
 

Bluemound Freak

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Now now now! I have a girlfriend and I only jerk it once or twice an hour.........If I was not involved I would pull it off! But you see I was involved with this girl before Rehab and the apparent end of drinking! So if me and her ever break up am I destined to a life of shillacking the Bishop?:shrug:
 

NickiD

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JM829

I think little pp is just upset that the tequila description fits him to a tee ...



By the way .. love reading your threads.. keep up the good work


:D
 

Chanman

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Good Thread JM829

Good Thread JM829

Basic Bar Terminology

1. "YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME."
(We won't be here long enough to get another round.)

2. "I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU."
(Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)

3. "HEY, WHERE IS THAT GIRL FRIEND OF YOURS?"
(I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to have sex with your girl friend.)

4. "I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL."(FEMALE)
(I'm easy.)

5. "I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL." (MALE)
(I'm gay.)

6. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN." (FEMALE)
(I'm really easy.)

7. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN." (MALE)
(I'm really gay.)

8. "I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME." (FEMALE)
(You're paying more attention to your friends than to me.)

9. "I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME." (MALE)
(I'm horny.)

10. "WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?"
(I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.)

11. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO MALE)
(Get the hell out of the way.)

12. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO FEMALE)
(I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.)

13. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO MALE)
(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.)

14. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO FEMALE)
(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, Miss Thing, coming in here dressed like a hoochie... And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.)

15. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP?"
(What's cheap?)

16. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (MALE TO FEMALE)
(I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)

17. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (FEMALE TO MALE)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?)

18. "THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR."
(Did I sleep with him/her?)

19. "CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER?" (FEMALE)
(I am really annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)

20. "I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (FEMALE)
(I'm 17.)

21. "I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (MALE)
(I don't have a license since I got pulled over by the cops for being stoned after my last visit here.)
 
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