This is funny!
I will kick your ass.
Item # 1641798199
Everything Else:Services:Other
Currently $1.75 First bid $0.01
Quantity 1 # of bids 4 bid history
Time left 6 days, 22 hours +
Location Albany, NY
Country/Region USA/Albany
Started Sep-23-01 14:06:38 PDT mail this auction to a friend
Ends Sep-30-01 14:06:38 PDT watch this item
Seller (Rating) hail_brak (3)
view comments in seller's Feedback Profile | view seller's other auctions | ask seller a question
High bid rippea (5)
Payment See item description for payment methods accepted
Shipping Will ship to United States and the following regions:
Asia. Caribbean. Europe. Mexico and Central America. Canada Australasia. South America. See item description for shipping charges.
Item Revised Before First Bid To review revisions made to this item by the seller, click here.
Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Auction currency is U.S. dollars ( $ ) unless otherwise noted.
Description
Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:
1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).
Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.
Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.
Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.
I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.
I will kick your ass.
Item # 1641798199
Everything Else:Services:Other
Currently $1.75 First bid $0.01
Quantity 1 # of bids 4 bid history
Time left 6 days, 22 hours +
Location Albany, NY
Country/Region USA/Albany
Started Sep-23-01 14:06:38 PDT mail this auction to a friend
Ends Sep-30-01 14:06:38 PDT watch this item
Seller (Rating) hail_brak (3)
view comments in seller's Feedback Profile | view seller's other auctions | ask seller a question
High bid rippea (5)
Payment See item description for payment methods accepted
Shipping Will ship to United States and the following regions:
Asia. Caribbean. Europe. Mexico and Central America. Canada Australasia. South America. See item description for shipping charges.
Item Revised Before First Bid To review revisions made to this item by the seller, click here.
Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Auction currency is U.S. dollars ( $ ) unless otherwise noted.
Description
Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:
1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).
Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.
Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.
Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.
I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.
that blow job auction lives only about a two hour drive from where I live, and I would say it is thousands more miles away from most of the Madjackers.......so no prizes for guessing who is going to get their blow job first!!!! 
