A guy and a couple buddies are out at the bar after work and he gets pretty drunk. As he is getting ready to leave he tries to burp but ends up throwing up all over himself, "shit" he says, "the wife is going to be so pissed, what do I do".
One of his buddies chimes in, "take a twenty dollar bill and stick it in your shirt pocket, tell your wife that some really drunk guy threw up all over you, but felt bad about it so he gave you $20 to get the shirt cleaned."
"Great idea" says the guy and sticks a twenty in his shirt and heads home. Sure enough, when he gets home, his wife comes over to him and says "you have throw up all over you, what happened?"
The guy tells her the story of a drunk guy throwing up all over him, but feeling bad about it gave him a twenty to get the shirt cleaned.
He pulls the cash out his pocket, and she looks at him and says, "Honey there is $40 there"
He responds, "oh yeah he shit in my pants to".
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Little Johnny wakes up in the middle of the night hearing noises coming from his parent's bedroom. He opens the door and walks down the hall to his parent's bedroom, still hearing noises, he opens the door and sees his dad pounding the Misses doggy style. His dad looks over at him, gives him the thumbs up and smiles.
The next night Johnny's dad wakes up to noises coming from Johnny's room. He gets up, walks down the hall to Johnny's room, opens the door and sees Johnny laying the pipe to Grandma. Dad is stunned, can't believe what he is seeing, and Johnny looks over at him and says;
"Its not so funny when its your mom is it?"
One of his buddies chimes in, "take a twenty dollar bill and stick it in your shirt pocket, tell your wife that some really drunk guy threw up all over you, but felt bad about it so he gave you $20 to get the shirt cleaned."
"Great idea" says the guy and sticks a twenty in his shirt and heads home. Sure enough, when he gets home, his wife comes over to him and says "you have throw up all over you, what happened?"
The guy tells her the story of a drunk guy throwing up all over him, but feeling bad about it gave him a twenty to get the shirt cleaned.
He pulls the cash out his pocket, and she looks at him and says, "Honey there is $40 there"
He responds, "oh yeah he shit in my pants to".
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Little Johnny wakes up in the middle of the night hearing noises coming from his parent's bedroom. He opens the door and walks down the hall to his parent's bedroom, still hearing noises, he opens the door and sees his dad pounding the Misses doggy style. His dad looks over at him, gives him the thumbs up and smiles.
The next night Johnny's dad wakes up to noises coming from Johnny's room. He gets up, walks down the hall to Johnny's room, opens the door and sees Johnny laying the pipe to Grandma. Dad is stunned, can't believe what he is seeing, and Johnny looks over at him and says;
"Its not so funny when its your mom is it?"
