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TBONEZ0295

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Fishermen with Skills

What do you call an expert fisherman? A masterbaiter.



Fishing for a Week

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.

A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"

"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

"Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."



Ice Fishing

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand.
"You've got to keep your worms warm."



Mermaid Fishing

These three guys are out having a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. Now, one of these guys just doesn't believe it.

?OK, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q.?

?Done.? Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly ? and analyzing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q. All of a sudden, the guy starts to spout the solutions to mathematical problems that have stymied chemists, physicists and mathematicians since the beginning of time. The last guy is so impressed that he asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid looks at him, very concerned.


Oh, God, No

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.
"I'm thirsty," said the first. "I'm gonna go get myself a Coke." So he got out of the boat, walked across the water, and came back with his Coke.
"Ooh, that looks good," said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his Coke, and came back.
"You're right," said the third. "I think I'll get one too." He steps out of the boat and sinks like a rock.
"Hey," said the first clergyman to the second, "should we tell him where the rocks are?"
 

TBONEZ0295

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Pee Up A Rope

Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water. One of the men picked it up and rubbed it, causing a genie to explode from the lamp. Unfortunately, it was a very low-level genie and could only grant one wish. The men thought for a few minutes and then wished for the entire lake to be made of the best beer in the world. With a poof! the wish was granted. All of a sudden, one of the men got really angry.

"Dammit! Now we have to piss in the boat!"


The Fishing Spot

One day Bob and Bubba went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake. Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!''

But Bubba said, '' No! How will we know it's your spit?''

They thought and thought and finally Bob said, '' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!''

But Bubba said ''No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?''


IF THIS DON'T BRING YOU OUT OF THE WOOD WORK NOTHING WILL
:D
 

Brett Michaels

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Jun 13, 2002
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The only fish he's seen out of water was his pet goldfish flopping on the floor after it made the leap to freedom. Poor thing couldn't take fatdaddys constant blabbering any longer.
 
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