~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One evening a farm woman was working on completing a jingle
to win a large cash prize from Carnation Milk. Carnation
furnished the first line, "I like Carnation best of all,"
and it was to be completed in 50 words or less. A couple of
months later the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk
representative came to her door and told her entry was the
best, but it couldn't be published, but they were giving
her a consolation award of $1,000.
Here is her entry:
I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no shit to haul.
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch,
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife and I were having serious difficulties in our marriage.
I came home from work one day, and she said, "We need to talk."
She said, "Our sex life is in a lot of trouble."
I replied, "Yes it is."
She said to me, "Please, tell me all your sexual fantasies."
And my answer to her was, "Why, you're not in any of them."
With that she went to divorce court.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One evening a farm woman was working on completing a jingle
to win a large cash prize from Carnation Milk. Carnation
furnished the first line, "I like Carnation best of all,"
and it was to be completed in 50 words or less. A couple of
months later the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk
representative came to her door and told her entry was the
best, but it couldn't be published, but they were giving
her a consolation award of $1,000.
Here is her entry:
I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no shit to haul.
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch,
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife and I were having serious difficulties in our marriage.
I came home from work one day, and she said, "We need to talk."
She said, "Our sex life is in a lot of trouble."
I replied, "Yes it is."
She said to me, "Please, tell me all your sexual fantasies."
And my answer to her was, "Why, you're not in any of them."
With that she went to divorce court.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
