~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day the teacher asked the children in class to give
examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.
Little Johnny says "It is not good to put a lit light bulb
in one's mouth."
The teacher says "That is correct, but why?"
Little Johnny answers "I don't know, but my Mom always
tells my dad 'turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubba and Cooter decided that they weren't going anywhere
in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math,
history, and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example.
Do you own a weed-eater?"
"I sure do," answered the redneck.
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,"
replied the professor.
"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that
since you have a yard, you also have a house."
Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZIN'!!!!!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching
on.)
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you
are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing
I ever heard of. I cain't wait to take this here logic class."
Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back
into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin?" he asks.
"Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.
"What in tarnation is logic?"
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"
"No."
"You're queer, ain't ya?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parking in the driveway after their first date, Roger leaned over
and gave Linda a passionate kiss. When she responded warmly,
he unzipped his fly and pulled her hand to his penis. Furious,
Linda opened the door and jumped out of the car.
"I've got just two words for you," she screamed. "Drop dead!"
And I've got just two words for you," Roger screamed back.
"Let go!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day the teacher asked the children in class to give
examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.
Little Johnny says "It is not good to put a lit light bulb
in one's mouth."
The teacher says "That is correct, but why?"
Little Johnny answers "I don't know, but my Mom always
tells my dad 'turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubba and Cooter decided that they weren't going anywhere
in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math,
history, and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example.
Do you own a weed-eater?"
"I sure do," answered the redneck.
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,"
replied the professor.
"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that
since you have a yard, you also have a house."
Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZIN'!!!!!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching
on.)
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you
are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing
I ever heard of. I cain't wait to take this here logic class."
Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back
into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin?" he asks.
"Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.
"What in tarnation is logic?"
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"
"No."
"You're queer, ain't ya?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parking in the driveway after their first date, Roger leaned over
and gave Linda a passionate kiss. When she responded warmly,
he unzipped his fly and pulled her hand to his penis. Furious,
Linda opened the door and jumped out of the car.
"I've got just two words for you," she screamed. "Drop dead!"
And I've got just two words for you," Roger screamed back.
"Let go!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
