Girl DooDoo, Sign of Relationship Seriousness?

[Felonious Monk]

Any of you guys thaink that a chick taking a dump at your house often is a sign that you are in a relationship?

When you first start dating and even after you are sleeping together it seems that taking a dump at the guys place is some sort of a rite of passage. At first a gal will go out with you, even spend the night at your place and go out to brunch with you the next morning. What she won't do is take a dump at your place. She will hang onto that poop and bring it all the way back to her place, even if it means 48 hours without a crap.

Sort of like leaving a toothbrush at your place, or the "key exchange" one of the earliest signs that this dating thing is becoming a relationship is when she is finally comfortable enough to drop a load at your place.

Of course some skank you picked up earlier in the week may not fit the profile and may take a dump with the door open while making conversation. But as a rule of thumb when you are dating a girl and she likes you, she simply will not take a dump at your house in the early stages of courtship.

 

[Felonious Monk]

Better yet, you're not in a relationship unless she comes in and takes a dump while you are brushing your teeth...but that's better known as marriage. Am I right guys?

 

[Patternseeker]

yep

yep

and you both fart freely in each other's company.

 

[yyz]

Give her the Ol Dutch Oven!

 

[Felonious Monk]

When I was a kid, I couldn't stand the fact that hot girls actually took dumps. I hated it!

And remember Patternseeker, they don't fart, they poot. My girlfriend and I were laying in bed watching tv one night when i smelled this awful smell - I had to do a quick memory recall to make sure it wasnt me and then I asked if she farted - man, did she get embarrassed. I mean, we had been dating a while (like 9 months) and this was the first one that either slipped or just smelled. In those 10 seconds, I knew then and there our relationship had just gotten more serious.

Do any of you guys here have your OWN crapper? I do. Man, it is heaven...a haven from the world. Sometimes I just sit in there and read...no other reason, other than to get away from everyone. Peace and quiet, and the only room men get to decorate entirely the way WE want to, with no input from the other half.

 

[yyz]

http://jacosurveys0.tripod.com/survey.htm

Take the survey!

 

[Felonious Monk]

If it was one of those quick surveys I'd take it but that looks like a damn final exam with a thesis at the end.

 

[Bama6895]

I am not sure about the dump thing. I know that I will go to the hall bathroom to dump if I am at her place. I do so because I know that I will stink up the joint and that is where I will be sleeping.

I refuse though to let her take a dump while I am brushing my teeth. Something about it grosses me out. I do not mind the pissing but the dumping, :nono: .

So there are my thought.

 

[hello there]

What if it's my mom who takes a dump while I'm brushing my teeth....what does that mean??? Is this normal? Does this mean we have a really tight knit family or just mentally ill family??

 

[BOHICA]

I'll bet my entire account that it is a mentally ill family.
Must make for great conversation at the dinner table.

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Yep Monk I got three damn bathrooms in my house and My ex wife would find the one I was in when I was taking a dump and strike up a conversation with me, all red faced and stinking just when I'm really in the mood for talking! You know it wasn't too far in the future that We got a divorce, a coinsidence:shrug:

 

[in2fitness]

yikes!!!!

yikes!!!!

:nono: I am not down with a chick taking a dump in front of me no matter how long we've been together. I have recently got engaged to the girl I've been with off and on for the last 8 years and she has NEVER farted in front of me and hardly uses the shiter when I am home. Thank God because I don't want to know that side of her. We have the don't ask don't tell policy as far as that is concerned. For some reason or other she comes in to talk to me sometimes when I'm taking a dump but NEVER the other way around. :moon:

 

[vinmaj]

Hilarious............LMFAO............
You guys need to get a hobby... like gamblin or somethin......

Never shit in front of my wife..... farted though....
She never shit nor farted in front of me that i know of....
Was married 15 years.... divoced her 5 years ago......

Maybe if she farted or shit ... we'd still be married......

:brows:

Vinmaj

 

[Felonious Monk]

I really prefer not to dwell on these unpleasantries but it has to be said.

We have two bathrooms upstairs and one downstairs next to the garage. The one downstairs is right underneath the staircase, which makes it hard just to take a leak but that's not why I go there. Oh no, I find myself reading the same outdated Longhorn magazines, I'll lay down, take a nap, whatever...as long as I'm away from all the drama. Sometimes I take a crap too! But to me, it's my lounge, my office, my reading room.

My girl doesn't understand why I spend so much time in the bathroom reading while doing my business. She just wants to get in and get out.

I started calling it the "Fortress of Solitude". When she asked me why I was calling it that I asked her if she would ever come in the bathroom while I was taking a dump. When she said "no" I told her that she had her reason.

I think the first time my girl pooped in front of me was about two years ago when we were watching tv. I decided to hop in the shower. The next thing I know, this terrible smell starts to infiltrate my shower. I literally thought the sewer was backing up, so I open up the curtain, and to my horror she is sitting there laying cable.

And she tells me "don't look!"

 

[JSMOOTH]

And remember Patternseeker, they don't fart, they poot.

In my household (which is 4 girls and 1 guy) it's called a fluff.

I've been married for almost 7 years and I have NEVER known my wife to "fluff" or crap.

 

[Kevin]

lol

lol

I can't believe this topic is going on...ironically after 4 years I seriously asked my wife if she had ever farted.

Never seen it and doubt I ever will. Funny shit here, I love it!

Don't even get me started on poop stories! I got too damn many!

The best being my old buddy bousley...back in college, this MF was really hard up for cash. Couldn't hold a job to save his life but man was this guy loveable. He'd do anything for a buck. One night Bousley needs 50 bucks, says he'll do anything to get fifty bucks. So my ol' buddy Trayhorn says I got fifty bucks. He said you eat a turd and I'll give you a fifty spot. My buddy bousley, king of all humor, says of course I'll eat shit for fifty, but its gotta be my own. So he promptly goes into Danielson's laundry room, drops his drawers, and lays a fatty out on the linoleum...picks it up, stuffs it in his piehole, makes an ungodly face, and instantly starts puking LOL...dude gets sicker than chit and when he comes to he asks for his fifty. My buddy says "FUCK YOU MAN, you didn't swallow it"

To this day bousley claims that was the worst tasting thing he'd ever eaten. No chit!

This dude was a riot, he'd do anything for some money. Mother fucker made the back page of a world series program in the early 90's...he ran naked 100 yards down a small college football field and out the exit and never got caught. The dude had blazing speed. If anybody saw the braves/yanks program with the naked guy on the back cover that was my pal Bousley.

I miss that bastard. Oh how those were the good ol' days...

 

[BOHICA]

Thanks Kevin. Just about puked myself reading that one.
That is just wrong:nooo:

 

[SixFive]

the expression at our house growing up (after somebody "toots") that I have carried over to my family is, "Did u get any on ya??" For you guys that have never seen or heard your wife fart/take a dump, that's pretty unbelievable to me! Heck, it's a bodily function. What's the big deal? If u had a job like mine (I've been farted on, pooped on, peed on, vomited on, coughed on (dry and loogie filled), bled on, excreted on, etc, (hope that doesn't excite any of your pervs )) a little toot means nothing and is often a welcome breaking of the silence.

I'll also add there's nothing like a good old SBD (Silent but DEADLY) in a crowd. Funny to watch people's expressions as they try to figure out who the farter is, and it's also fun to look in a person's direction in order to cast blame.