(copy/pasted from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette)
Home stable advantage
Monday, December 20, 2004
By Ruth Ann Dailey
The moment is approaching. Anticipation's been building for weeks. The planning, the shopping, the cooking -- people are eager to celebrate the most important thing in life.
Not Christmas, silly -- the Steelers' rush to the Super Bowl. With our glorious winning streak and a strapping young quarterback who may yet walk on water, not even Christmas can penetrate Pittsburgh's football buzz.
But maybe we'd spare a moment to ponder the birth of that other miraculous rookie if Myron Cope, Bill Hillgrove and Tunch Ilkin were providing play-by-play on the old, familiar story...
Bill: Who'd've imagined that this team from Nazareth -- hardly a powerhouse -- would have gotten so far? You know you're looking at winners when they can persevere against incredible odds --
Tunch: A less-than-stellar beginning to their season, some powerful opponents, and now this trip to Bethlehem where they've lost the home field advantage. They're real underdogs.
Myron: Joseph's really hung in there, hmm-hah, and what defense! He's doing a great job tonight shielding Mary from those burly census takers. Yoi!
Bill: You've been down on the field, Tunch. What kinda conditions are we looking at?
Tunch: Well, this isn't much of a venue, frankly. There's hay all over the place, guys. I don't see how Mary's gonna get any footing at all.
Myron: Well, okle-dokle. Here we go!
Bill: This is the moment. Back is Mary...back...back... And she delivers! Now here comes Joseph, and he's got the hand-off!
Tunch: Talk about your Immaculate Reception!
Bill: What a great effort from Mary.
Myron: She ain't gonna be gettin' up and doin' the hokey-pokey anytime soon. Someone give that poor woman a Terrible Towel -- double yoi!
Bill: Listen to the crowd -- they're going wild! The cheering, the singing -- are those angels?
Tunch: I think they're sheep.
Bill: Nope, those are angels, Tunch.
Myron: The light's just flooding the place! My eyes are poppin' outta my cranium!
Bill: Look! There's a banana bunch to the east. There's three of them, they're closing in ... Who are those guys?
Tunch: I don't know, but they're carrying something. Hold on here -- we've got gold, some frankincense, and I think that's myrrh.
Myron: Those aren't slim pickins!
Tunch: Somebody better keep an eye on the shepherds or there could be a case of habeus grabbus.
Myron: Look at that baby!
Bill: This kid's got everything -- the blood lines, the parentage, the power -- maybe someday the glory! Have you ever seen anyone like him?
Tunch: Dan Marino.
Myron: I dunno, Tunch. I predict great things from this kid. Over the long haul, he's gonna be a real threat.
Tunch: I hear there's a gag order on the Magi.
Bill: This one's in the hopper! It's a big win for the good guys.
Myron: I'm too old for this excitement.
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(Ruth Ann Dailey is a Post-Gazette staff writer and can be reached at rdailey@post-gazette.com.)
Home stable advantage
Monday, December 20, 2004
By Ruth Ann Dailey
The moment is approaching. Anticipation's been building for weeks. The planning, the shopping, the cooking -- people are eager to celebrate the most important thing in life.
Not Christmas, silly -- the Steelers' rush to the Super Bowl. With our glorious winning streak and a strapping young quarterback who may yet walk on water, not even Christmas can penetrate Pittsburgh's football buzz.
But maybe we'd spare a moment to ponder the birth of that other miraculous rookie if Myron Cope, Bill Hillgrove and Tunch Ilkin were providing play-by-play on the old, familiar story...
Bill: Who'd've imagined that this team from Nazareth -- hardly a powerhouse -- would have gotten so far? You know you're looking at winners when they can persevere against incredible odds --
Tunch: A less-than-stellar beginning to their season, some powerful opponents, and now this trip to Bethlehem where they've lost the home field advantage. They're real underdogs.
Myron: Joseph's really hung in there, hmm-hah, and what defense! He's doing a great job tonight shielding Mary from those burly census takers. Yoi!
Bill: You've been down on the field, Tunch. What kinda conditions are we looking at?
Tunch: Well, this isn't much of a venue, frankly. There's hay all over the place, guys. I don't see how Mary's gonna get any footing at all.
Myron: Well, okle-dokle. Here we go!
Bill: This is the moment. Back is Mary...back...back... And she delivers! Now here comes Joseph, and he's got the hand-off!
Tunch: Talk about your Immaculate Reception!
Bill: What a great effort from Mary.
Myron: She ain't gonna be gettin' up and doin' the hokey-pokey anytime soon. Someone give that poor woman a Terrible Towel -- double yoi!
Bill: Listen to the crowd -- they're going wild! The cheering, the singing -- are those angels?
Tunch: I think they're sheep.
Bill: Nope, those are angels, Tunch.
Myron: The light's just flooding the place! My eyes are poppin' outta my cranium!
Bill: Look! There's a banana bunch to the east. There's three of them, they're closing in ... Who are those guys?
Tunch: I don't know, but they're carrying something. Hold on here -- we've got gold, some frankincense, and I think that's myrrh.
Myron: Those aren't slim pickins!
Tunch: Somebody better keep an eye on the shepherds or there could be a case of habeus grabbus.
Myron: Look at that baby!
Bill: This kid's got everything -- the blood lines, the parentage, the power -- maybe someday the glory! Have you ever seen anyone like him?
Tunch: Dan Marino.
Myron: I dunno, Tunch. I predict great things from this kid. Over the long haul, he's gonna be a real threat.
Tunch: I hear there's a gag order on the Magi.
Bill: This one's in the hopper! It's a big win for the good guys.
Myron: I'm too old for this excitement.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ruth Ann Dailey is a Post-Gazette staff writer and can be reached at rdailey@post-gazette.com.)
