How to make any sport wussy....

[Senor Capper]

Rugby
Instead of dangerous scrums, use the paper-rock-scissors method to determine who gets the ball.
Oh yeah and wear sweats with footsies!


Basketball
Be nice, and take turns shooting the ball.
If they miss give em another turn.


Football
The ball? Round
The field? Water
The name? Water polo

Hockey
Play on grass with a kickball. Plus tie a windbreaker around your waist. It could get chilly. Hmm perhaps we should play indoors.

Mountain Biking
When going down hills, scream, "Wheeee!"

Racquetball
Keep the rules. But you get a box of Juicy Juice between sets.

Baseball
Skip to your lou around the bases absolutely NO running allowed. Slow under hand tosses only with the batters stationary in the bunting position.


Please feel free to add your own

 

[beantownjim]

jack i didnt start this and i dont want a strike for what im about to say but i have an idea for figure skating.since we all know what they are they should take showers together in between the changing of there costumes.now that would be interesting sport.

 

[kneifl]

Boxing....

Come on guys maybe this one is least expected but I will put Great wrestlers like Bruce Baumgartner, John Smith, Lee Kemp, Mark Schultz, Larry Kristoff, Terry Brands, Dave Scultz, Kenny Monday, Dan Gable, and Rulon Gardner UP AGAINST THE LIKES OF Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, Muhammed Ali, Oscar Delahoya, Sugar Ray Robinson, Julio Caesar Chavez, Prince Hasim Nahmed, Roy Jones, etc. I could go on and on...........................

and you know what - the boxers would get THEIR ASSES KICKED BECAUSE A WRESTLER WILL ALWAYS BEAT A BOXER - ONCE THEY ARE ON THE GROUND IT IS OVER FOLKS. THE END, PERIOD.

kneifl

 

[fletcher]

damn man who cares if someone is gay,black,yellow ,white or green. people are people and should be treated as such.
you really need to get some people skills.nothing gets under my skin more then a raciest.

 

[Senor Capper]

H E L L O ! ! !

IF YOU MUST POST A REPLY PLEASE REFER TO THE TOPIC......
don't want this to get locked out

Danka
~~~Lanny

Hey how bout Soccer ?

Instead of long socks.....
Panty hose would be standard or how bout thigh highs?
...and before they kick the ball they have to:
shuffle shuffle toe heel toe kick with thier arms flung high into the air
woooooohoooooooo

 

[pepin46]

in football:

as you are high up in the air, about to catch that game winning end-zone pass, ask the defender: may i?

in tennis:

if it gets too hot outside, by all means, play the last set inside, in air conditioned comfort, and on a table.

this is too silly. 40 years old, sir?

pep

 

[Senor Capper]

Pep those were good ones
and don't call me "Sir" I have never served my country and I aint as old as you yet

Sir ?

 

[BahamaMama]

put one person on each side of a table, and name it *chess*

sorry to all you chess players out there, but i am just UNABLE to see how anyone can call that a sport.

 

[pepin46]

uh, that big 4 0 is really getting to you, isn't it?

you are just beginning, lanny. this is where it starts getting a whole lot better. things started happening for me right around that age and i have a feeling they will for you too.


pep

 

[djv]

All Golfers can have carts. Lets even give them little canvas covers for there heads. Then number there carts, race them and call it cart.

 

[dc]

Boxing - Gloves, trunks, socks AND shoes should be color coordinated. Judges will take into account the fighter's outfit in assessing overall points.

NOTE: Major points will be deducted for gold chains bigger than aircraft carrier anchor chains.

You may not actually hit your opponent, but you may call him a lot of really, really bad names. However, if you use language any stronger than H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS the referee will issue a warning for the first offense and disqualification occurs thereafter.

The bad name calling goes on until one fighter either crys or stomps out of the ring mad. Should a slap fight break out between the two contestants, both fighters will be disqualified and the fight shall be scored as a non-event.

 

[Senor Capper]

ahh good ones