>Subject: IF MEN WROTE Advice Columns...
>
>Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
>A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that
>there is
>only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your
>best friend.
>Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together.
>Why not
>get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are
>still
>apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without
>you. If
>you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him
>a nice
>meal while you think about it.
>Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
>A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to
>your skin.
>Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
>sex on
>him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to
>do is to
>thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.
>Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
>A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged.
>The man is
>a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night
>out
>chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a
>more
>peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
>relationship
>better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to
>clean the
>house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he
>returns to his
>stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you
>and your
>best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
>with it
>do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish
>to
>videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband
>as a
>birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him
>and cook
>him a delicious meal.
>Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
>A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek
>sensitivity
>training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
>should be
>available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
>foreplay.
>What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you
>should. He
>should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so
>selfish!
>Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and
>cooking
>him a nice meal.
>Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
>without
>giving me one.
>A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten
>to cook
>him a nice meal.
>
>Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
>A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that
>there is
>only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your
>best friend.
>Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together.
>Why not
>get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are
>still
>apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without
>you. If
>you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him
>a nice
>meal while you think about it.
>Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
>A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to
>your skin.
>Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
>sex on
>him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to
>do is to
>thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.
>Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
>A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged.
>The man is
>a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night
>out
>chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a
>more
>peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
>relationship
>better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to
>clean the
>house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he
>returns to his
>stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you
>and your
>best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
>with it
>do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish
>to
>videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband
>as a
>birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him
>and cook
>him a delicious meal.
>Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
>A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek
>sensitivity
>training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
>should be
>available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
>foreplay.
>What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you
>should. He
>should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so
>selfish!
>Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and
>cooking
>him a nice meal.
>Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
>without
>giving me one.
>A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten
>to cook
>him a nice meal.
