join the republicans

dr. freeze

BIG12 KING
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> > >A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so
> many
> >others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and
> had
> >grown to be in strong favor for the distribution of all wealth in
> America. She
> >felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative
> which she
> >expressed openly.
> > >
> > >One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his
> opposition to
> >higher taxes on the rich & more welfare programs. In the middle of her
> heart
> >felt diatribe based upon the lectures she had from her far left
> > >professors at her school, he stopped her and asked her point blank, how
> she
> >was doing in school.
> > >
> > >She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know
> that
> >it was tough to maintain. That she had to study all the time, never had
> time
> >to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have
> > >time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends
> because of
> >spending all her time studying. That she was taking a more difficult
> >curriculum.
> > >
> > >Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Mary." She
> replied,
> >"Mary is barely getting by", she continued, "all she has is barely a 2.0
> GPA"
> >adding, "and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies."
> > >
> > >But to explain further she continued emotionally, "But Mary is so very
> >popular on campus, college for her is a blast, she goes to all the
> parties all the
> >time and very often doesn't even show up for classes because she is
> > >too hung over."
> > >
> > >Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's
> office
> >and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to her friend
> who only
> >had a 2.0." He continued, "That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and
> > >certainly that would be a fair equal distribution of GPA."
> > >
> > >The daughter visibly shocked by the fathers suggestion angrily fired
> back,
> >"That wouldn't be fair! I worked really hard for mine, I did without and
> Mary
> >has done little or nothing, she played while I worked real hard!"
> > >
> > >The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
> >
>
 

Nosigar

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Jul 5, 2000
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Just yesterday I was thinking about this story and was wondering where I could get a copy of it. :cool:
 

dr. freeze

BIG12 KING
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Aug 25, 2001
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The Ant and the Grasshopper
> > >
> > > OLD VERSION:
> > >
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
> >his
> > > house and laying up supplies for the winter.
> > >
> > > The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
> >the
> > > summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
> > >
> > > The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
> > >
> > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > MODERN VERSION:
> > >
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,building
his
> > > house and laying up supplies for the winter.
> > >
> > > The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
> >the
> > > summer away.
> > >
> > > Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
> > > demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well
fed
> > > while others are cold and starving.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
> > > grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with
a
> > > table filled with food.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in
a
> > > country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer
> >so?
> > >
> > > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody
> > > cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
> >where
> > > the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome."Jesse
> > > then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
> > > sake.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Tom Daschle &John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings
> > > that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and
> >both
> > > call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
> > > share."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
> > > Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined
> >for
> > > failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
> > > nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated
by
> > > the government.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
> > > defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a
panel
> > > of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
> > > welfare recipients.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The ant loses the case.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
> >of
> > > the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
> >happens
> > > to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
> > > maintain it.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead
in
> >a
> > > drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
by
> >a
> > > gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
> > >
 

djv

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Nov 4, 2000
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What was the one about the hare and the turtle. Those in a hurry run out of gas first. Steady as you go.
The first one on grade point over at wackie .com. They had it Kerry should give one of his grade 4 points to Bush to even it up at 3 a piece.
 

ferdville

Registered User
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Dec 24, 1999
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It seems to me that the grasshopper and hare story had a lot more to do with work ethic than being in a hurry. In fact, there is no mention whatsoever about the grasshopper being in a hurry to do anything - in fact, just the opposite. I suppose the interpretation of any story lies in the eyes of the beholder, however biased they may be.
 
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