Here's the rest of the note. Sorry it's so long:
This is borderline too personal but what the hell.. Eric asked me if I was taking anything for stress.. tranquilizes or anti depressants...
Hi Eric
Well..to tell you the truth...I'm not doing super terrific but am just doing the best that I can. I was taking that Buspar and it was the only drug that I have ever taken to "smoothe out the bumps" that really worked and didn't make me feel like a zombie.
Took a little while to get used to it but it worked great.
Then I found out that with my insurance that I have no mental health coverage. Went to get the prescription filled and it was going to be about a hundred a month out of pocket. Kathy was out of the hospital and the stress level had gone down some. So.. I just blew it off.
I may call my ins. co and see what it would take to add mental health coverage... cause I know I'll need the buspar again when she has chemo. I do fairly ok (I think) until she starts cratering from the chemo..then I get a little off balance. Well...what do you think? Who woudn't.
So will probably want to get back on the stuff when I can.. even if I decide to just pay for it. Will be worth it.
A funny thing happened while I was taking the buspar. As you know I've started playing Texas Hold Em some. When Kathy's in the hospital I can get up real early and go to the casino before work. Get up at 4 AM or so.. and make the hour drive across town to the casino. play hold em for a couple of hours then go to work.
I've played 3 6, 4,8 and 6,12. Don't really like 3,6 cause there's too many old farts in the low limit games that start bitching and moaning and crying when they lose fifteen dollars. The higher limit games have nicer people that act more mature and are friendly. Sure the risk is a lot higher but I have more fun.
Well.. playing 6,12 one morning I experienced a 750 dollar swing in the game. I bought in for 350.. got up about three hundred.. then crashed to even. Then crashed again to my last 100 dollars. I started thinking and laughing to myself.. damn these drugs are good. If it wasn't for that buspar I would be freaking and peeking.. and puking. So I maintained my composure and slowly started my comeback. Limited time too..cause I would have to leave and get to work within an hour.
A bully came to the table bragging about how great he was doing. He said I'm up 550 in just over and hour. Seems I can do no wrong. He sits down.. plays a few hands then says.. I think I'll straddle. I barely even KNOW what a straddle is! He place a bet before the cards hit the table and blind bet before he even looked at his cards. I bet along with him and the rest of the table.. got a pair of pocket queens and another queen on the flop.. by fourht street it was down to four players including me..two dropped out on the 5th card and this big bully and I bet out head to head.. until he called.
I won the pot and said .. See ya... If I keep playing like this I'll go broke. I'm outa here and have to get to work. He said.. yeah.. you'll go broke every time playing pocket queens.. lol When I cashed in I was 11 dollars down for the morning which I thought was wonderful! I got most of my money back and two people went broke on the hand. I didn't bust the guy I was betting against but he knew he had made a mistake!
Thanks for the advice.. I'm ok for now but know I will probably need to start taking the drugs again when stress levels increase.
Love
Randy
One more:
Kathy won 250 on quarter slots yesterday
I won 350 playing 4/8 Texas Hold Em.. And I won about 200 on Thursday when we went! Not big money but it's still fun to come home a winner
YES
May go back today.. she said that's all she wants to do this weekend. I'm game if she's up to it. She may be too tired but I doubt it.
It's 8:30 here Sunday morning. Arizona time. kathy was up briefly but has gone back down for more rest. She's sleeping on the couch in the living room. With her relapse her major symptoms are fatigue and tiredness. She's not experiencing any shortness of breath like she did when she was first diagnosed. For any MD's who know about this.. her blasts from the test on Monday were 67 percent. They were over 90 percet when she was first diagnosed back in Nov. 2001.
At the meeting last Wednesday when we discussed the bone marrow transplant and the matched donors.. and when Kathy was told that she had relapsed... she asked if she had to go back in the hospital the next day.. Thursday or if she could have ONE MORE weekend to play.
The next day her doctor said. you know.. it's really not going to make that much difference. You will be in the hospital in total isoation AGAIN for a month. If you feel like playing this weekend go do it!
So that's what we've been doing. We may even go back to the casino again this afternoon if she's up to it. I hate slots but I do like sitting at a poker table with little fishies and drunks..
Sorry this is so long. Some will be interested and some won't be. And I totally understand.
Good luck to all and I'll try to keep you posted or Eric will keep those up to date who need it.
One last quick note.. altho I make an OK. living. I'm not wealthy. This illness has been an extreme blow financially as well as mentally and emotionally for us both.
Those of you with wives, children, girlfriends, etc etc. Don't take all the good stuff for granted. It can all change in a heartbeat with no warning and no reason at all.
Love to all
AzRusty
Randy
This is borderline too personal but what the hell.. Eric asked me if I was taking anything for stress.. tranquilizes or anti depressants...
Hi Eric
Well..to tell you the truth...I'm not doing super terrific but am just doing the best that I can. I was taking that Buspar and it was the only drug that I have ever taken to "smoothe out the bumps" that really worked and didn't make me feel like a zombie.
Took a little while to get used to it but it worked great.
Then I found out that with my insurance that I have no mental health coverage. Went to get the prescription filled and it was going to be about a hundred a month out of pocket. Kathy was out of the hospital and the stress level had gone down some. So.. I just blew it off.
I may call my ins. co and see what it would take to add mental health coverage... cause I know I'll need the buspar again when she has chemo. I do fairly ok (I think) until she starts cratering from the chemo..then I get a little off balance. Well...what do you think? Who woudn't.
So will probably want to get back on the stuff when I can.. even if I decide to just pay for it. Will be worth it.
A funny thing happened while I was taking the buspar. As you know I've started playing Texas Hold Em some. When Kathy's in the hospital I can get up real early and go to the casino before work. Get up at 4 AM or so.. and make the hour drive across town to the casino. play hold em for a couple of hours then go to work.
I've played 3 6, 4,8 and 6,12. Don't really like 3,6 cause there's too many old farts in the low limit games that start bitching and moaning and crying when they lose fifteen dollars. The higher limit games have nicer people that act more mature and are friendly. Sure the risk is a lot higher but I have more fun.
Well.. playing 6,12 one morning I experienced a 750 dollar swing in the game. I bought in for 350.. got up about three hundred.. then crashed to even. Then crashed again to my last 100 dollars. I started thinking and laughing to myself.. damn these drugs are good. If it wasn't for that buspar I would be freaking and peeking.. and puking. So I maintained my composure and slowly started my comeback. Limited time too..cause I would have to leave and get to work within an hour.
A bully came to the table bragging about how great he was doing. He said I'm up 550 in just over and hour. Seems I can do no wrong. He sits down.. plays a few hands then says.. I think I'll straddle. I barely even KNOW what a straddle is! He place a bet before the cards hit the table and blind bet before he even looked at his cards. I bet along with him and the rest of the table.. got a pair of pocket queens and another queen on the flop.. by fourht street it was down to four players including me..two dropped out on the 5th card and this big bully and I bet out head to head.. until he called.
I won the pot and said .. See ya... If I keep playing like this I'll go broke. I'm outa here and have to get to work. He said.. yeah.. you'll go broke every time playing pocket queens.. lol When I cashed in I was 11 dollars down for the morning which I thought was wonderful! I got most of my money back and two people went broke on the hand. I didn't bust the guy I was betting against but he knew he had made a mistake!
Thanks for the advice.. I'm ok for now but know I will probably need to start taking the drugs again when stress levels increase.
Love
Randy
One more:
Kathy won 250 on quarter slots yesterday
I won 350 playing 4/8 Texas Hold Em.. And I won about 200 on Thursday when we went! Not big money but it's still fun to come home a winner
YES
May go back today.. she said that's all she wants to do this weekend. I'm game if she's up to it. She may be too tired but I doubt it.
It's 8:30 here Sunday morning. Arizona time. kathy was up briefly but has gone back down for more rest. She's sleeping on the couch in the living room. With her relapse her major symptoms are fatigue and tiredness. She's not experiencing any shortness of breath like she did when she was first diagnosed. For any MD's who know about this.. her blasts from the test on Monday were 67 percent. They were over 90 percet when she was first diagnosed back in Nov. 2001.
At the meeting last Wednesday when we discussed the bone marrow transplant and the matched donors.. and when Kathy was told that she had relapsed... she asked if she had to go back in the hospital the next day.. Thursday or if she could have ONE MORE weekend to play.
The next day her doctor said. you know.. it's really not going to make that much difference. You will be in the hospital in total isoation AGAIN for a month. If you feel like playing this weekend go do it!
So that's what we've been doing. We may even go back to the casino again this afternoon if she's up to it. I hate slots but I do like sitting at a poker table with little fishies and drunks..
Sorry this is so long. Some will be interested and some won't be. And I totally understand.
Good luck to all and I'll try to keep you posted or Eric will keep those up to date who need it.
One last quick note.. altho I make an OK. living. I'm not wealthy. This illness has been an extreme blow financially as well as mentally and emotionally for us both.
Those of you with wives, children, girlfriends, etc etc. Don't take all the good stuff for granted. It can all change in a heartbeat with no warning and no reason at all.
Love to all
AzRusty
Randy
