Ladies vs Real Women

[Chanman]

Subject: LADIES VS. REAL WOMEN...


Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

Real Woman - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
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Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Woman - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
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Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Woman - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
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Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Woman - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
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Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

Real Woman - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
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Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Woman - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
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Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Woman - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
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And finally the most important tip....

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Woman - Leftover wine??
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Subject: Bra Sizes

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you wondered what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
A Almost Boobs...
B Barely there.
C Can't Complain!
D Dang!
DD Double dang!
E Enormous!
F Fake.
G Get a Reduction.
H Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!





A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

 

[NickiD]

Good one - I think I'm kinda in between... is that good? lol

Kinda like Sex in the City - Most of us are a little bit of Charlotte and mostly Carrie

Of course guys wish for a Samantha

 

[Lemons]

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"


VERY TRUE

 

[Helen]

Lemons I cannot agree with you more!!!!!! I really like that saying, it's the first time I ever heard it!!!!!!!

Hey Chanman~ Can I use that as my signature???

 

[Chanman]

Helen~ Please do. Think I'm gonna change my signature too.

P.S.- I was gonna ask how long the Philly Fillies would last in a game of nude paint ball, as posted in an earlier thread---but don't think I'd like to have to stand up@ the SB party cause there's a paint ball gun stuck up me arse.

Translations for What Men Say:

"It's a guy thing."
Means..."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Means..."Why isn't dinner already on the table?"

"Uh huh", "Sure honey," or "Yes dear."
Means...Absolutely nothing; it is a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Means..."I have no idea how it works."

"We're going to be late."
Means..."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break honey, you're working too hard."
Means..."I can't hear the TV over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting dear."
Means..."Are you still talking?"

"It's a really good movie."
Means..."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."

"That's women's work."
Means..."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Means..."I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you and got you these roses."
Means..."The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Means..."And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Means..."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Means..."What did you catch me at?"

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Means..."I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific"
Means..."Oh God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving!"

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Means..."No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Means..."I make the messes, she cleans them up."

 

[Helen]

Hey Chanman~ Thanks for the new signature I really like it!!! I am starting to realize that you are one of the more intelligent men on this site, I really like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Paint ball guns and arses don't really mix