Lap Dances for Toys

THE KOD

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For the second year in a row, the Admiral Theatre on Lawrence Avenue is offering a lap dance in exchange for an unused, unwrapped condom.
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nice job pooner
 

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Of greater concern to athletic director Jeff Long is surely this: Did the coach hire the 25-year-old Jessica Dorrell ? a press release was issued just last week ? only because of her expertise in ?student-athlete development?? (She?d previously been an Arkansas volleyball player and a fundraiser for the Razorback Foundation.) In announcing her appointment, Petrino is quoted as saying: ?[Dorrell] is familiar with what the University of Arkansas can offer.?

(In other news, Dorrell reportedly is engaged to the director of operations for the Arkansas swimming and diving team. The wedding date is set for June 9.)

Long moved to put Petrino on leave Thursday night, only hours after the police report was made public and the coach finally came clean to his boss. But there is, in athletic departments housing a major football program, a sort of reverse pecking order: The AD is technically in charge, but the football coach is the bigger deal.

Of all people, Long shouldn?t have been blindsided by such duplicity. He handled the search that resulted in Petrino standing in Fayetteville calling the Hogs on a Tuesday night after coaching the Falcons on a Monday. Rumors of Petrino?s departure had been swirling before the game, prompting Blank to confront Petrino, who offered his handshake assurance he?d be staying. This prompted Blank to tell newsmen he looked forward to the Falcons moving boldly forward under ?CEO Bobby Petrino.?

The next day: See ya later, CEO.

The same Petrino infamously interviewed for an Auburn job that wasn?t open in November 2003. He denied any contact with Auburn officials until reporters from the Courier-Journal offered documentation of a private plane registered to the Montgomery bank controlled by the toxic Tigers booster Bobby Lowder landing in Sellersburg, Ind., which sits across the Ohio River from Louisville, where Petrino was then coaching. The backlash was such that Auburn?s president and AD wound up resigning.

But Petrino? He kept coaching the Cardinals, leading them to an 11-1 season in 2004 and an Orange Bowl victory in 2006. He?d signed a 10-year contract to remain at Louisville despite many more flirtations with other schools/teams. Then, in January 2007, he left to coach the Falcons. That lasted 13 games, 10 of them losses. (The Falcons were without Michael Vick.) Then he split for the Ozarks.

In sum: Petrino has long been a selfish jerk, but people keep hiring him because he wins. When it comes to coaches, administrators tend to develop cognitive dissonance: ?He?s a jerk, but he?s a winning jerk.?:0008

Long has pledged to conduct a review, but let?s note again: This AD hired Petrino, baggage and all, and has seen him win 21 games over the past two seasons. We?re about to see if Petrino, his belatedly admitted indiscretion aside, can deploy his won-lost record as the ultimate defense. We?re about to see if a bad guy gets to keep his job just because he?s a good coach.

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dont let the door hit ya in the ass Bobby
 

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Pro golfer has fan ejected for mocking his ridiculous pants


Ian Poulter's fashion sense is so dubious even he put a question mark on a pair of pants he designed. But apparently no one else is allowed to second-guess his choices. After one loudmouthed Masters fan twice told the British golfer, "Your outfit looks stupid," Poulter summoned security to have the man ejected. It could come at a stiff price: He was in the gallery not with a daily ticket but on one of those treasured (and very hard to get) Masters badges that are virtual family heirlooms. This wannabe fashion critic's badge is likely to be revoked. Who looks stupid now?
 
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