Memo from Human Resources

NickiD

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Forum Member
Jun 24, 2002
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Dear Supervisors:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being
able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
_______________________________________

TRY SAYING:

Perhaps I can work late

INSTEAD OF:

And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?
____________________________________

TRY SAYING:

I'm certain that isn't feasible

INSTEAD OF:

No f*cking way
_______________________________________

TRY SAYING:

Really?

INSTEAD OF:

You've got to be shitting me
________________________________________

TRY SAYING:

Perhaps you should check with . . .

INSTEAD OF:

Tell someone who gives a shit
________________________________________

TRY SAYING:

I wasn't involved in the project

INSTEAD OF:

It's not my f*cking problem
________________________________________

TRY SAYING:

I'm not sure this can be implemented

INSTEAD OF:

This shit won't work
_______________________________________

TRY SAYING:

I'll try to schedule that

INSTEAD OF:

Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
________________________________________

TRY SAYING:

He's not familiar with the issues

INSTEAD OF

He's got his head up his *ss
______________________________________

TRY SAYING:

So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF:

Kiss my *ss
_________________________________________

TRY SAYING:

I'm a bit overloaded at the moment

INSTEAD OF:

F*ck that, I'm on salary
_______________________________________

TRY SAYING:

You want me to take care of that

INSTEAD OF:

Who the hell died and made you boss
_______________________________________

TRY SAYING:

I see

INSTEAD OF:

Blow me
________________________________________

TRY SAYING:

He's somewhat insensitive

INSTEAD OF:

He's a prick
_______________________________________

TRY SAYING:

I think you could use more training

INSTEAD OF:

Do you know what the f*ck you're doing?

Thank You,

Human Resources
 
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