The Top 16 Least-Noticed Important Events of the Last 1000 Years
16> 1621: "Ouch! This porcupine is a bitch to carve. What say we roast that large bird over there instead?"
15> 1879: Thomas Edison gets an idea, and his brother Timmy says, "Hey, what's that thing over your head?"
14> 1937: On May 6, Christ returns, only this time he's flying in style -- on the Hindenburg!
13> 1962: In Moscow, an enraged Nikita Khrushchev bangs his shoe on nuclear missile launch buttons. Fortunately, the Soviet missile-control computer had just moments before run out of kerosene.
12> 1963: Richard Simmons almost loses his virginity.
11> 1069: Little did B.J. Richard, the sixth Duke of Hummer, know that the accidental coupling of his most intimate region with his 3-foot tall mistress would result in a sexual act being named after him.
10> 1843: After years of research, German inventor Gunther Dildo finally finishes his lifelong research.
9> 1997: On June 13, my mom forgot to criticize my housekeeping skills.
8> 1895: In June, Guglielmo Marconi invents the radio. In July, Guglielmo Kasem counts down the "Rome Top 40."
7> 1432: The invention of the moveable-type garlic press.
6> 1492: "Heads, we name it 'America'; Tails, it's 'Columbus.' Loser gets a city in the Ohio Territories."
5> 1541: During a manicure, Henry VIII accidentally invents the "pull my finger" gag.
4> 1450: Printing press invented by a young Al Gore.
3> 1517: Prior to nailing his 95 Theses on the church door in Wittenberg, Martin Luther nails 3 Ingrids in the choir loft.
2> 1491: Colombus discovers the clitoris.
...and the Number 1 Least-Noticed Important Event of the Last 1000 Years....
1> 2004: Buddy's Mushroom Joke.
