Please post all topics off topic here

[fatdaddycool]

If I cook a nice dinner, using Lemongrass, while wearing a green apron, while listening to Johnny Cash, all after going to the store on a rainy day in a blue chevy................will Celine Dion's breasts get bigger?



Do you think Amish people lie about masturbation?

Why is it spelled "Metres" sometimes rather than "Meters", yet have the same meaning?


What if the Mormons got it right?

How come dogs never lick themselves on camera? Go ahead try to take a pic of your mutt gulpin at his globes on camera........

any other random and off topic thoughts please feel free................

 

[Toledo Prophet]

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

[KotysDad]

Why do people forward jokes through email with the punch line sitting right in the subject line?

Have some courtesy and delete the fvcking punch line for pete's sake.

 

[ripken8]

fdc, what's up pal? just wanted to check in and see how you were doing? hope you had a great holiday...

 

[Dice34]

I wonder if kneifl would of come out of the closet (poor choice of words), had he hit 52% or less and let bdb know?

How can anyone claim any %, when all their pick posts are edited?

If a gay guy gets blasted up the ass in the woods, does he make a sound?

 

[Sportsaholic]

0-0 ytd..........
























Be back later to see if anyone responded :0corn

 

[Franky Wright]

0-0 ytd..........
























Be back later to see if anyone responded :0corn

edit.

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Why do so many people believe in God?
Why does the word "God" spelled backwards spell "dog"?
Why does the word "evil" spelled backwards spell "live"?
Why does the word "devil" spelled backwards spell "lived"?
Why do the words "race car" spelled backwards spell "race car"?
Why was President Kennedy's secretary named Lincoln and President Lincoln's secretary named Kennedy?
Why was Kennedy assasinated from a warehouse and his assasin caught in theatre while Lincoln was assasinated in a theatre and his assasin was caught in a warehouse?
Why were Kennedy and Lincoln both suceeded by presidents named Johnson?
Why are people fascinated with the comparison between Kennedy and Lincoln?
Why are people not fascinated with the comparison between Kennedy and Lincoln?
Why are people fascinated with the sinking of the Titanic?
Why is the country divided politically?
Why do people like rap music?
Why do people like country music?
Why do people at this forum like certain people?
Why do they dislike certain people?
Why are some people popular?
Why are some people unpopular?
Why do some people suck up to Jack?
Why do some people not suck up to Jack?
Why do some people leave?
Why do some people come back?
Why do some people post often?
Why do some people post rarely?
Why do some people count the number of views there posts?
Why do some people want a lot of replies to and views of their respective posts and if they don't get them feel very sorry for themselves because they really are closet attention whores that have low self esteem and require a great deal of outside support and nurturing from people they have never met so they can feel like they are okay about themselves since they have no self soothing mental abilities and really are in need of therapies and psychotropic medications which have yet to be invented or even considered in the research labratories by Pfizer, Squibb, Glaxo, Smith, Ingersoll or any of the other pharmaceutical giants.

Sorry
Ed

 

[eric stratton]

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

 

[IntenseOperator]

What is a "notre"?

 

[IntenseOperator]

this thread is perfect for this thread....

http://www.madjacksports.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1947494#post1947494

 

[chickenman]

Why is grass green? Why are boobs good?


:shrug:


CM

 

[IntenseOperator]

Guinea pig: It's what's for dinner in Peru. And now the furry little creatures could soon squeal their way north ? onto your plate. What wine goes with pet?

 

[IntenseOperator]

7) Groom yourself.
Don't embarrass her when you venture out of the house. Check the ears, nose, neck and yes, feet for hair or other growths that shouldn't be there. She not only wants you to impress her friends by how you act, but also by how you look.

 

[Sportsaholic]

Why do so many people believe in God?
Why does the word "God" spelled backwards spell "dog"?
Why does the word "evil" spelled backwards spell "live"?
Why does the word "devil" spelled backwards spell "lived"?
Why do the words "race car" spelled backwards spell "race car"?
Why was President Kennedy's secretary named Lincoln and President Lincoln's secretary named Kennedy?
Why was Kennedy assasinated from a warehouse and his assasin caught in theatre while Lincoln was assasinated in a theatre and his assasin was caught in a warehouse?
Why were Kennedy and Lincoln both suceeded by presidents named Johnson?
Why are people fascinated with the comparison between Kennedy and Lincoln?
Why are people not fascinated with the comparison between Kennedy and Lincoln?
Why are people fascinated with the sinking of the Titanic?
Why is the country divided politically?
Why do people like rap music?
Why do people like country music?
Why do people at this forum like certain people?
Why do they dislike certain people?
Why are some people popular?
Why are some people unpopular?
Why do some people suck up to Jack?
Why do some people not suck up to Jack?
Why do some people leave?
Why do some people come back?
Why do some people post often?
Why do some people post rarely?
Why do some people count the number of views there posts?
Why do some people want a lot of replies to and views of their respective posts and if they don't get them feel very sorry for themselves because they really are closet attention whores that have low self esteem and require a great deal of outside support and nurturing from people they have never met so they can feel like they are okay about themselves since they have no self soothing mental abilities and really are in need of therapies and psychotropic medications which have yet to be invented or even considered in the research labratories by Pfizer, Squibb, Glaxo, Smith, Ingersoll or any of the other pharmaceutical giants.

Sorry
Ed

Why ask Why, try a Bud Dry.........

 

[Morris]

If Mickey's a mouse and Pluto's a dog what the hell is Goofy?

 

[ripken8]

agent is an insurance salesman...

 

[chickenman]

Who could win in a fight? Mighty Mouse or Superman?


Superman. Cause he's a real guy.


CM

 

[fatdaddycool]

Ripken,
Whats up my friend. I am good how about yourself? Holidays were good for the most part. At least Thanksgiving and Christmas was. Prior to that they pretty much were good except for Labor Day which was spent breaking up with the girlfriend of three and a half years. Which was fine because I have found that they can make more wherever it is that they make them, girlfriends I mean. I was holding out for Kellyindallas but I can't wait anymore. I'm in the mind to make some mookie.
Hey did you know that if you sleep naked and have your girlfriend's sister come visit for a couple of days that it is NOT ok to walk to the kitchen for a cookie in the middle of the night? Who knew. :shrug: Whats worse is, if you see your gf's sister in the kitchen while getting the cookie, you are supposed to be embarassed and run or try to cover up, not ask her to hand you a paper plate out of the pantry. I mean c'mon................who makes all these rules????? Thats like when the wife got all pissed off years ago because I was drunk and a bit frisky and the tv woke her up in the middle of the night, only to find me laying on the couch with a half eaten roast beef sandwich on my chest, pants around my ankles and some crusty quilted northern stuck to the top of my now flacid nether regions and me snoring loudly. I explained that I only snore when sleeping on my back........................we got divorced shortly thereafter. Apparently, she doesn't like roast beef. Who the hell doesn't like roast beef. I need to go back to the phillippines and have that ole gal cram them beads back up my ass to get my head straight. It has been about twenty years or so since I was cat-clawed to the ceiling fan.:shrug: :shrug:

Hey may be coming up for a Rangers or Isles game this year or go on the road to catch a Hawks game. What does your schedule look like? If you want to plan to go to a game up there in your area let me know I can fly up or we can try somewhere else. Always good to talk with you Rip, you're a class act, get my addy from Jack and lets set something up.

Toledo Prophet seems to be very wise.

eddie seems a bit introspective and Jay is, as always, spot on. Do you think that the fact that men don't have breasts is evidence of a higher moral power?

 

[Big Daddy]

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY...


1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

12. WHA T DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

27. I F YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?