POLL #2 - Writing Challenge Contest II

[THE KOD]

OK going to start up the voting poll.

We got alot of volunteers this time that have all guaranteed a story of some kind.

These are the winnners that move on to the top 10 .

RULES TO FOLLOW !


KOD

 

[THE KOD]

PLEASE PLEASE.... DO NOT CAST YOUR VOTE UNTIL ALL STORY'S HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY SUBMITTED.[/Size=3]


This is the official Contest # 2. Writing Challenge II.


good luck to all.


KOD

 

[THE KOD]

Hey how in the hell biscuits did marine get on top of the poll ?

I was on top. If people don't know who to vote for then they usually take number one. Everyone knows that much.

I was not destined to be a middler.

Hmmm I hope there has been no fraud already.

If there is anything that disrupts a honest contest its a perpetuated fraud.


KOD

 

[THE KOD]

INITIAL RULES... more to come


RULE #1. Submit a story or poem or anything you want to write. The cream always rises to the top so I hear. Romantic, a joke you made up on your own, real life exp, fiction, non-fiction.

The 10 individuals choose the length or how many pages.
Don't write a book. Keep it interesting or shut up about it.
Expect maybe a paragraph from marine here for instance.

And if your going to write something stupid like I intend to, then please keep it short.


RULE #2The official deadline is

Deadline - FRIDAY - JUNE 6, 2003 on close of business at 0000 going into Saturday morning. The whole day of June 6 is included.

RULE #3. Once the story is submitted , no revisions are allowed. Any revisions after official sub-mittal, and you are disqualified.


RULE #4 "I think I would have let the polls stay open a little longer than 35 hours. Some of us actually get out on the weekends. Closing the polls right after church on a Sunday is a little on the cowardice side. Open them up Scotty and let them run a week." / JOSHNAUDI.........

POLLS WILL BE OPEN FOR VOTING FOR 7 FULL DAYS.
A OFFICIAL CLOSING OF POLLS MUST BE ANNOUNCED BY KOD.


more rules to come shortly. Any suggestions on rules will be considered at this time or forever hold your peace. ?


KOD

 

[THE KOD]

marine !

I swear to christ if you voted for yourself you will be officially
dis-qualified and banned from any further contests run by me or PRIVATE PETEY.

This attempted fraud will not be tolerated. An investigation is under way as we speak!

And your the one that talks about rules !

TAKE SOME OF YOUR OWN ADVICE BUSTER ......:nono:

I won't have to worry if that was you that cast a vote when the polls were not open ! Fraud of any kind will not be tolerated.

YOU DIPSTICK!

KOD

 

[THE KOD]

DAMNRIT !

Now someone has voted for KOD !

This will not stand !

This cannot be tolerated in a official contest of this sort.

Hmmm how will I prove that wasn't me that voted for KOD and not someone else just trying to be funny. Any suggestions ?

If I have anything I have my integrity.


KOD

 

[Private Petey]

good idea

good idea

Hey scott atlanta, this sounds good. It could be kind of a fantasy story where everybody lives in a dreamworld. It would star acehistr8 and fletcher. It would have everything. Barfly, YYZ and Bobby Blue Balls as the village idiots. The MJ softball team with tbonez as the captain as the girls who consider each other hot, but everybody else has a "slightly" different opinion. We would have the moderately retarded guy, wilson, who believes everything fletcher says. He might not be bright, that wilson, but he's loyal. We would have the guy who is hygenically challenged, Marine. Let me think about this, maybe I can put something together.

PP

 

[loophole]

scott -

literacy pointer #1: there is no hyphen in sub-mit (sic) or dis-qualified (sic);

literacy pointer #2: here's a novel idea - how about you do not post your poll until it's time to vote?

just trying to help.

 

[THE KOD]

scott -

literacy pointer #1: there is no hyphen in sub-mit (sic) or dis-qualified (sic);

literacy pointer #2: here's a novel idea - how about you do not post your poll until it's time to vote?

just trying to help.

......................................

loophole

Thank you for number #1.

#2 hmmmm that sounds good. I thought that contests would be easy to run .

I will take these things under consideration.

Then I find out things are not always as they seem.

KOD

 

[chickenman]

Damn Scott.

Chump steak and dipstick all in the same day, you better slow down or your going to wear out.


CM

 

[marine]

Scott Scott,

I See you have 4 votes now. Sorry to disappoint you, but I didnt vote for myself. First time I saw the post here tonite as this after noon while you were busying creating this clusterf*ck of a poll, I was busy knockin boots with my wife.

Anyway you little turdburglar,
I will happily submit a story or poem or jig or song as short or as long as I want. I am thinking of maybe breaking it up into 10 page chapters and posting one chapter each day leading up to the climax on the 6th. sound good?

Although I am a lil unsure of when the contest really closes... is it close of business, which by most standards is 1600 on a weekday, or is it 2359 friday night? or 0001 saturday morning?
now when you said 0000 going into saturday... are you talking central time? GMT? eastern? should I factor in daylight savings time but what about countries that dont use daylight savings time? what will they do?

and whats the deal saying it can be a story now? for petes sake you woman! I sat down and wrote a song for it this morning... a catchy beastie boy rap song... and now i coulda just used my story??????



:moon: on you

you amuse me scott scott.
I think I shall title my masterpiece.
"Oxygen Thief: Scott-Atlanta Revealed"

 

[THE KOD]

Scott Scott,

Although I am a lil unsure of when the contest really closes... is it close of business, which by most standards is 1600 on a weekday, or is it 2359 friday night? or 0001 saturday morning?
now when you said 0000 going into saturday... are you talking central time? GMT? eastern?

..................................

marine marine

friday 2359 EST.......June 6, 2003.


KOD

 

[THE KOD]

THE STORYS ARE COMING ! THE STORYS ARE COMING !


KOD

 

[Bluemound Freak]

My 1 page story is ready! When can I post it? I care not to win or lose but I only want to make some folks laugh their arses off! That's all I need, well that and this paddle ball game and this thermos, and that is all I need! To make people laugh, this paddle ball game and this thermos!



( I love the Jerk! )

 

[THE KOD]

My 1 page story is ready! When can I post it? I care not to win or lose but I only want to make some folks laugh their arses off!

.............................

Bluemound

If its ready post it now.!

I will figure out a way to get everyone to zero votes after all submittals are posted.

good luck

KOD

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Bluemound?s Bar

Seeing as how I have always been one to make money at something that I was good at, I decided to continue the streak by opening myself a little pub here on the outskirts of town. The only catch to this new idea of mine is the fact that I no longer practice the art of drinking I only sit back and serve wine and spirits and take in the colorful commentary that flows from the other side of the bar stools. The wonderful conversations that take place in my establishment are nothing short of brilliant and sometimes hysterical in nature. From day to day I have to purge the views expressed to make room for the new ones that are to come each evening. Here is one story that I wish to share with you.

Just the other day I was serving to this old fella buy the name of fatdaddycool. He pulls up a stool at my bar and strikes up a conversation and to my disbelief reveals to me that he has a pet alligator with him. He questions me on whether or not it is all right for him to be in the bar with a pet Alligator. I told him that is was fine by me as long as it was well behaved. He agreed and continued ordering his usual Pabst Blue ribbon on tap one after the other! Just as fatdaddycool was finishing his fifth frothy mug, another young gentleman comes sliding himself belly up to the bar. ?Hey, how are you fellas doing?? My name is Scott-Atlanta and I am looking for a good place to wet my whistle if you know what I mean! I asked the weary eyed traveler ?What?ll it be there partner? and he quickly replied to me ?Give me a Zima and two limes please and keep em coming!? I spun around and grabbed the gent a Zima and two limes and went to hand the drink over the bar when I noticed that he had been entranced by the fact that there was an alligator sitting next to fatdaddycool on the other stool. By this time the two patrons had began exchanging rhetoric over the fact that the alligator was taking up space at the bar. I leaned down and told Scott-Atlanta that I owned the bar and had OK?d the reptile?s presence. At that time fatdaddycool leaned over and told Mr. Atlanta that he should not be alarmed that this was nothing short of a brilliant gator not a savage like those found in the swamps. Still not convinced and a bit shaken Mr. Atlanta was not buying it. Wanting to show off the gator?s intellegence Fatdaddycool says let me show you a little trick that he does from time to time. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a little stick, he stands up and whacks that alligator upon the head with this stick and the gator opens his mouth as wide as it can go. Then he pulls down his pants and takes his package and places it upon the tongue of the gator. He takes the stick and cracks the head of the gator once again. The gator slowly starts to close his mighty jaws down onto the flesh of Mr. Cool?s balls and penis! Without warning he whales the skull of the gator one last time and sure enough the mouth opens wide as it was when he first started. Fatdaddycool whips around to show Scott-Atlanta that there was absolutely no harm done to him and that it was fine for his pet to be sitting there since it was such a brilliant pet. When he turned to Scott-Atlanta he was shocked to see that he was standing there as if he had seen his own ghost and was in dismay. Fatdaddycool looked over at me and I shrugged as if not knowing what to say, which I had no idea what to say to either men so I shrugged back. Fatdaddycool turns to Scott-Atlanta once again and asks him if he would like to give that little trick a whirl so he would feel a little bit more comfortable. Scott-Atlanta just stood there in silence for a moment, then he looked over at me and slowly started to speak ?Would you make sure that he does not hit me on the head with that stick as hard as he hit that gator??

 

[ALWAYS PRAYEN]

BLUEBALLS FREAK,

ARE YOU IMPLYING SCOTT - ATLANTA IS A COCK SUCKER??

LOL MAYBE????

LOL

 

[DR STRANGELOVE]

that was a good laugh

 

[THE KOD]

Bluemound Freak

Is that your entry ?

So you take a old joke and stick fatdaddy and me in it and you get behind a bar and you expect anyone to laugh at that crap except maybe DR and ALWAYS your buddys. ?

Look - Be serious now. I know you can be more original than that weak attempt. I have read some of your stuff.

The story must be original not an old joke or plagarism of someone else's work. Not so easy then is it ?

Submit something else or you are disqualified for perpetuating a fraud in POLL #2 .

good luck



KOD

 

[TBONEZ0295]

SCOTT CAN I PLAY TOO????

SCOTT CAN I PLAY TOO????

YOU HAVE TO SING (Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John, A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone, It seems one night after gettin' with the wife, She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife. Penis, that is. Clean cut. Missed his nuts. Well, the next thing you know, there's a Ginsu by his side, And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride. She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend, And tossed him out the window as she came around the bend. Curve, that is. Tossed the nub. In the shrub. She went to the cops and confessed the attack, And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back. They sniffed and they barked and they pointed, 'over there!' To John Wayne's Henry that was waving in the air. Found, that is. By a fence. Evidence. Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long, So a dick doc said, 'Hey, I can fix that dong!' 'A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need,' and the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny peed. Whizzed, that is. Even seam. Straight stream. Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court, With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short. They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape, And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape. Video, that is. Unexposed. Case closed.

HOW WAS THAT SCOTT AM I IN????