Rules While Jack's Off Golfing
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- Nov 13, 2009
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Everytime I see the title of this thread I think it says:
Rules While Jacking Off
Am I the only one?
Rules While Jacking Off
Am I the only one?
- Nov 13, 2009
- 3,322
- 116
- 0
The Official Rules of Jack-Off.
Not "Jack off", as in, the male stimulation of the penis. But rather it is a jerk off competition. Below I have listed the official rules of this favorite American past time between young boys, so that you too can enjoy the pleasures of a good Jack-Off.
OBJECT OF JACK-OFF
The Jackees (that is to say, the ones "jacking") are judged in three areas in an official Jack-Off. These are; Speed, potency, and accuracy. An unbiased, nonparticipating third party is considered an "Official" judge, and it is there duty to check on the contest immediately after they have "Zipped" (zipping the pants up after climax). Jack-Offs require a private room where the Jackees will spend their jack. A decent sized room with a lockable door are considered "Official", but a bathroom is favorable. Contestants are allowed ONE magazine the judge deems worthy of the competition. And ONE standard-sized, single-layered paper towel, with which to ejaculate into.
SPEED
Once the Jackee has shut the door on the room, the judge will begin timing the jack. The judge must then walk five feet away so as to not interfere with the Jackees' "aura". Once the zipping takes place, the judge will stop and take note of the time. Having the best time is worth three points, as it is critical to the Jack-Off. The times are judged down to the last second, so it is unlikely two Jackees will tie; Unlikely though they do, it is customary that tied Jackees receive one and a half points each.
POTENCY
The amount of semen present IN the paper-towel. Hands/pants/shirts/facial hair DOES NOT COUNT. The judge will determine how potent the "Jack Juice" (semen) is on a scale of 1 to 10. The Jackee who receives the highest mark gains two points. In the (rather likely) event two Jackees tie, two things can happen, as to the judge's digression; A Re-Jack, the Jackees Jack again, and the most potent this time gains the points; or a Carry-Over, where the judge determines from the Jackees performance in the other two categories, who did better overall. That Jackee then gets the points.
ACCURACY
This category measures how well the Jackee shot his load into the paper-towel. Any "Jack Juice" that arrives anywhere other than the paper-towel will count against the Jackee's score. Every contestant begins with 20 accuracy points, and they are subtracted by the following; Hand -1 (both hands, -2), pants -5, shirt -7, anywhere else in the room -10. Rips in the paper-towel will also count as -5 accuracy points, per tare. The person with the most accuracy points wins one point, and ties simply result in both contestants winning a single point.
JACK-OFF FOULS
There are many ways to get a "foul" in a Jack-Off. Each foul is worth a certain deduction of points. All Jackees begin with 3 Foul Points, and the loss of all three is instant disqualification.
1. A BAD SEED - The act of ejaculation in the magazine when it is deemed to be for sabotage of the other Jackees. -3
2. FOUL STASH - Smuggling more porn, toys, or other stimulants into the jacking area to help yourself finish quicker. -3
3. DIRTY FINGER - Fingering your anus as to finish quicker. -1
4. DISHARDENING - The fact of taunting your opponent before or during the jack with the objective of making them go slower. -2
5. SAUSAGE FOR YOU - The act of leaving your penis out after the "zipping" to prank the judge. -1
I hope that these rules have helped you to better understand the past time that is the Jack-Off. I will keep this updated if I think of more rules that I might have forgotten. Pleasant jacking!
Cheers.
FYP:0008
Not "Jack off", as in, the male stimulation of the penis. But rather it is a jerk off competition. Below I have listed the official rules of this favorite American past time between young boys, so that you too can enjoy the pleasures of a good Jack-Off.
OBJECT OF JACK-OFF
The Jackees (that is to say, the ones "jacking") are judged in three areas in an official Jack-Off. These are; Speed, potency, and accuracy. An unbiased, nonparticipating third party is considered an "Official" judge, and it is there duty to check on the contest immediately after they have "Zipped" (zipping the pants up after climax). Jack-Offs require a private room where the Jackees will spend their jack. A decent sized room with a lockable door are considered "Official", but a bathroom is favorable. Contestants are allowed ONE magazine the judge deems worthy of the competition. And ONE standard-sized, single-layered paper towel, with which to ejaculate into.
SPEED
Once the Jackee has shut the door on the room, the judge will begin timing the jack. The judge must then walk five feet away so as to not interfere with the Jackees' "aura". Once the zipping takes place, the judge will stop and take note of the time. Having the best time is worth three points, as it is critical to the Jack-Off. The times are judged down to the last second, so it is unlikely two Jackees will tie; Unlikely though they do, it is customary that tied Jackees receive one and a half points each.
POTENCY
The amount of semen present IN the paper-towel. Hands/pants/shirts/facial hair DOES NOT COUNT. The judge will determine how potent the "Jack Juice" (semen) is on a scale of 1 to 10. The Jackee who receives the highest mark gains two points. In the (rather likely) event two Jackees tie, two things can happen, as to the judge's digression; A Re-Jack, the Jackees Jack again, and the most potent this time gains the points; or a Carry-Over, where the judge determines from the Jackees performance in the other two categories, who did better overall. That Jackee then gets the points.
ACCURACY
This category measures how well the Jackee shot his load into the paper-towel. Any "Jack Juice" that arrives anywhere other than the paper-towel will count against the Jackee's score. Every contestant begins with 20 accuracy points, and they are subtracted by the following; Hand -1 (both hands, -2), pants -5, shirt -7, anywhere else in the room -10. Rips in the paper-towel will also count as -5 accuracy points, per tare. The person with the most accuracy points wins one point, and ties simply result in both contestants winning a single point.
JACK-OFF FOULS
There are many ways to get a "foul" in a Jack-Off. Each foul is worth a certain deduction of points. All Jackees begin with 3 Foul Points, and the loss of all three is instant disqualification.
1. A BAD SEED - The act of ejaculation in the magazine when it is deemed to be for sabotage of the other Jackees. -3
2. FOUL STASH - Smuggling more porn, toys, or other stimulants into the jacking area to help yourself finish quicker. -3
3. DIRTY FINGER - Fingering your anus as to finish quicker. -1
4. DISHARDENING - The fact of taunting your opponent before or during the jack with the objective of making them go slower. -2
5. SAUSAGE FOR YOU - The act of leaving your penis out after the "zipping" to prank the judge. -1
I hope that these rules have helped you to better understand the past time that is the Jack-Off. I will keep this updated if I think of more rules that I might have forgotten. Pleasant jacking!
Cheers.
FYP:0008
You know, I wasn't reading it that way until I saw your post. NOW, every time I scroll through the General forum, that's how I read it. Thanks :mj07:
