~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an
8-year-old girl's house. One day as he is passing by,
carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl.
He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys' game, and only boys
can have a football!".
The little girl runs into the house and cries to her Mom,
"I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her Mom
runs out and gets her one.
The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy as he
rides up on his bike, She holds up the football and sings...
"Nah Na Nah Nah".
The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boy's bike and only boys get boys'
bikes and you can't have one!"
She runs to her Mom and the next day she waits for him on
her new boy's bike.
The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants,
and pointing to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!".
The next day he walks by and says to her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls
up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims
"My Mom tells me that as long as I have one of these
I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc,
you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No
matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your
self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom
mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an
attractive person. But, say it with real conviction. Within a week
you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a
bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden
expression on his face.
"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"Oh, it worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of
the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem, but my wife does."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor
to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at
about three hundred pounds.
"I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on
the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an
8-year-old girl's house. One day as he is passing by,
carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl.
He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys' game, and only boys
can have a football!".
The little girl runs into the house and cries to her Mom,
"I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her Mom
runs out and gets her one.
The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy as he
rides up on his bike, She holds up the football and sings...
"Nah Na Nah Nah".
The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boy's bike and only boys get boys'
bikes and you can't have one!"
She runs to her Mom and the next day she waits for him on
her new boy's bike.
The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants,
and pointing to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!".
The next day he walks by and says to her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls
up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims
"My Mom tells me that as long as I have one of these
I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc,
you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No
matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your
self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom
mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an
attractive person. But, say it with real conviction. Within a week
you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a
bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden
expression on his face.
"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"Oh, it worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of
the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem, but my wife does."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor
to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at
about three hundred pounds.
"I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on
the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
