Subject: SOUTH CAROLINA LAW (Purported to have actually happened in the mid- 1980's)
During a trial in a small South Carolina town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness tot he stand.
She was sworn in by normal fashion, with the Holy Bible and asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing by the truth, so help her God. The witness promised as such. She was a proper, well dressed elderly lady, the grandmotherly type, well spoken and poised.
The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and, frankly you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."
The lawyer was completely stunned and slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge's and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter, who was documenting EVERY WORD!
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he too was a youngster. He is lazy, bigoted, has a bad drinking problem. The man can't build or maintain a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the floor.
Laughter mixed with gasps thundered throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge of chaos.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,"If either of you crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, you will be jailed for contempt!"
During a trial in a small South Carolina town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness tot he stand.
She was sworn in by normal fashion, with the Holy Bible and asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing by the truth, so help her God. The witness promised as such. She was a proper, well dressed elderly lady, the grandmotherly type, well spoken and poised.
The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and, frankly you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."
The lawyer was completely stunned and slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge's and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter, who was documenting EVERY WORD!
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he too was a youngster. He is lazy, bigoted, has a bad drinking problem. The man can't build or maintain a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the floor.
Laughter mixed with gasps thundered throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge of chaos.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,"If either of you crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, you will be jailed for contempt!"
