Sunday preacher joke

[SixFive]

topic was all the different kinds of prejudice.

A Jew and a Chinese man were eating at a restaraunt. the Jew got up from his table and went up to the Chinese man and hit him in the face knocking him to the floor. The Chinese man said, "What was that for? Why u hit me?" The Jew said he did it because of Pearl Harbor. The Chinese man said, "I had nothing to do with Pearl Harbor, that was the Japanese!!" The Jewish man said, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, whatever, you're all the same!".

A few minutes later, the Chinese man went over to the Jew and knocked him out of his seat with a roundhouse kick. The Jew, astonished, looked up and said, "Why did you kick me!!??" The Chinese man said he did it because of the Titanic. The Jew said, "The Titanic??? What did I have to do with the Titanic??" The Chinese man said, "Well, you know, Goldberg, Steinberg, iceberg, they're all the same!" :142smilie

 

[Terryray]

good one! here's another...

good one! here's another...

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline:

"PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS!"

The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read:

"PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT"

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:

"BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS"

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read:

"NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN"

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read:

"NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00"

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read:

"NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE"

The Bishop was buried the next day.

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

Cathloic Priest live on on side of town with church on other side and same with preacher. Each Sunday the preacher would ride his bike and priest walk to their parishes and would meet halfway and exchange pleasantries before continueing to their parishes.

On this Sunday as they stopped to chat priest noticed preacher was without his bike and asked why. Preacher said someone had evidently stolen his bike and asked for suggestions on how to get it back.

Priest thought for monent and suggested that he go through ten commandments in his sermon today and when he got to 7th who ever stole it would feel quilty and return it.

Next Sunday they met halfway as usual and priest noticed preacher was on his bike again. He said "I see suggestion of ten commamdments must have worked."

Preacher said "certainlty did--when I got to the 6th I remembered where I had left my bike."

 

[new redneck]

three young boys were killed in a tradgic car accident, as they approached the pearly gates st. peter came to great them. they begged for anither chance at life, as the accident had not been thier fault. st peter agreed and told the boys that one at a time he wanted them to jump into a big white cloud, they would then pass over a mountain, as they did call up and tell him what they wanted to become.. the first boy jumped passed over the peak and yelled "doctor" he became a famous heart surgeon in dallas.. the 2nd boy yelled out "lawyer" he became a famous trial lawyer in plilly. as the third boy passed over the mountain his big toe jammed into the peak, he grabbed his foot and said "cocksuker ".... he went on to be a parish priest in boston !