Things overheard at the STD clinic
The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.
"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks."
"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."
"My balls feel soft and mushy."
"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you."
"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"
"I got the dripper."
"I have glitter in my urine."
"Had sex with my daughter's fianc? and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there."
"Sores on my butt and I'm losing my mind."
"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."
"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man."
"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck."
"Can't you put the swab in further?"
"I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my other new baby's momma has disease."
"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Kool Aid."
"My cervix hurts when I jiggle."
"The seam in my circumcision split open."
"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them."
"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits."
"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the life out of me."
"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me."
"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'"
"My pee smells."
And last but not least- "I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt."
The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.
"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks."
"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."
"My balls feel soft and mushy."
"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you."
"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"
"I got the dripper."
"I have glitter in my urine."
"Had sex with my daughter's fianc? and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there."
"Sores on my butt and I'm losing my mind."
"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."
"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man."
"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck."
"Can't you put the swab in further?"
"I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my other new baby's momma has disease."
"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Kool Aid."
"My cervix hurts when I jiggle."
"The seam in my circumcision split open."
"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them."
"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits."
"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the life out of me."
"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me."
"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'"
"My pee smells."
And last but not least- "I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt."
