Tammy Faye passes

Jake DeNiro

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Cancer is rotten stuff!

And the rot shows....I've a friend who has been given 6 months too live. I've never seen anyone as brave and determined to live as her. I was there everyday when she was in pallative care, and now since she's moved home I'm there 5 days a week to help her with her desire to live until the time comes that she's had enough, then I'll be there for her also in telling her it's OK to let go. She told me she's not afraid of dying, she's afraid of the pain. SixFive and all who read this, whatever your belief's are please have her in your thoughts......as all with this terrible disease, pray she and they don't suffer in pain...thanks, Jake
 
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ripken8

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jake, you're a good man, it takes a special person to do what you're doing. wish there were more of you. she'll be in my prayers as will you... god bless
 
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SixFive

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will do, Jake! I'm exposed to it so much around here. We have terrifically high occurrences of cancer in this area. Terrible; I just hate it!
 

kellyindallas

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And the rot shows....I've a friend who has been given 6 months too live. I've never seen anyone as brave and determined to live as her. I was there everyday when she was in pallative care, and now since she's moved home I'm there 5 days a week to help her with her desire to live until the time comes that she's had enough, then I'll be there for her also in telling her it's OK to let go. She told me she's not afraid of dying, she's afraid of the pain. SixFive and all who read this, whatever your belief's are please have her in your thoughts......as all with this terrible disease, pray she and they don't suffer in pain...thanks, Jake
Jake, you are a wonderful friend. Good luck and best wishes to your friend during this awful time.

Kelly
 

ppabart

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Jake...

I too know what you are talking about and going through. I lost my Dad this year to brain cancer. He vertainly was taken away from me too early in life as I am 30 (29 when i lost him) and he was only 57.

He fought through 2 successful operations and chemo-therapy. I am and was so close with my mom and dad that when the brain cancer started to get really bad, my wife and I moved in with my parents. I got to spend almost 2 years with him in ways I probably wouldn't have gotten to unless I was there full time.

The day I got the news from my mom that he only had 3-6 months to live, it nearly crushed me. I can't tell you what its like to be told that your best friend and dad, all in one, has a very limited time left. He only lived 2 more months after that.

In the end, it was a blessing that he went. His last two days were comatose. I was there with my mom every day, helping clean him and feed him. The greatest thing was that his last night with us, I sat down and talked with him and held his hand. He squeezed my hand even though he couldnt respond verbally, to let me know he was listening. I shared many things with him that night. Things I should have shared long ago with him.

Anyways, I too appreciate this thread as it hits home in a big way with me. Sorry to be so longwinded. I feel like I could write a novel.

Bart
 

Jake DeNiro

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Thanks too all that have send their thoughts her way and also too those who are sending their thoughts to whoever it may be. Today was one of the days that I haven't been there with her and she knew of this in advance as I had told her that another friend of mine wants to take me out for my birthday on Monday. I also told my other friend that it's cancelled if Nancy wasn't having a good day and she totally understands as I've told my family and friends that Nancy comes 1st & everyone is 100% co-operative. Point of this, when I called her this morn, she was just waiting to hear my voice so she good sing Happy Birthay....brought a tear to my eye. Said she wishes she was taking me out and will some time this week. Well she doesn't know it yet, but depending on how she's doing, I'm going to get her to take me to the pizza place just down the street from her place. She's not getting away without taking me out....no way :nono: We've ha a few laughs with her an her walker an we're going to have a few more. I could go on forever, and would love to share the moments we have had but.....I get great satisfaction knowing from her, and her best girlfriends that she feels protected and not afraid of anything knowing I'm there...she asked me "do you believe in Angels"....:shrug: I guess no because it never entered my mind....Her best friends have told me what she says to them..."He's my real life Angel". Thanks for allowing me to share this you know where I'm coming from.....I'm happy to be making her happy...even her boyfriend of 15 years gives a hug my way with "thanks for being here".....Thanks
 
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Jake DeNiro

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Jake...

I too know what you are talking about and going through. I lost my Dad this year to brain cancer. He vertainly was taken away from me too early in life as I am 30 (29 when i lost him) and he was only 57.

He fought through 2 successful operations and chemo-therapy. I am and was so close with my mom and dad that when the brain cancer started to get really bad, my wife and I moved in with my parents. I got to spend almost 2 years with him in ways I probably wouldn't have gotten to unless I was there full time.

The day I got the news from my mom that he only had 3-6 months to live, it nearly crushed me. I can't tell you what its like to be told that your best friend and dad, all in one, has a very limited time left. He only lived 2 more months after that.

In the end, it was a blessing that he went. His last two days were comatose. I was there with my mom every day, helping clean him and feed him. The greatest thing was that his last night with us, I sat down and talked with him and held his hand. He squeezed my hand even though he couldnt respond verbally, to let me know he was listening. I shared many things with him that night. Things I should have shared long ago with him.

Anyways, I too appreciate this thread as it hits home in a big way with me. Sorry to be so longwinded. I feel like I could write a novel.

Bart

Write the novel....I know how you feel as I was 34 my dad 65 and the same cancer as your dad. I hear you loud and clear and it's good to get it out. I was there 24/7 which is bullshit, point being a much as I could humanly do. Our family took our team effort with no regrets. He didn't have the operation as there was to many if's. My ma didn't want to lose him and I told her we were being selfish as he was suffering. I used to stay overnight with him and the last night we spend to gether I took him by the back of the head an told him "dad, it' OK to let go, you know I'll take care of Ma, me and the boys, she'll be OK" He just stared at me as he couldn't speak or write, no hand squeezing from him....just a blank stare. My brother picked me up from the hospital that morn to take me to work and my Ma was on her way there at the same time I was leaving. One hour after I got to work my boss came over to tell me you have to go to the hospital....I did and he was gone. We never wanted him to be by himself or anyone in our family if in that position so did he wait until my Ma got there....:shrug: who knows. I do know that I have one regret an that is talking about him in front of the doctors because to this day I don't know if he could hear us or not as he couldn't respond. The doctor even said that in front of him "at this stage we don't know if they can hear us or undertand what's going on etc".....then shut the 3#### up, when I thought of it later. There Bart, I wrote a novel....with you my friend, thoughts your way:thumb:

p.s if any s's or d's are missing it becaue my aughter keyboard is crewed. I have to keep going back an it take me forever hitting the and the s
 
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ppabart

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Jake....

I'm sure he could hear. That's what most doctors would tell you. I can't believe that the doctors would talk about him right in from of him....... especially if the news was griim. I remember the day when Mom pulled me aside to tell me that Dad had 3-6 months to live, she made sure she told me outside, on the front porch. She obviously knew I wasn't going to handle things well.

Take solice in the fact that, i am sure your Dad heard anything you told him. Your situation sounds like it parallelled mine in many many ways. I still miss my Dad so much. We did so many things together. He and I were more like twins and best friends, rather than being father and son. I couldn't have asked for a better Dad....just more time with him.

Bart
 
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