On Monday afternoon, the Sports Gal and I went to lunch at Doughboys on 3rd Street. I happened to be wearing my old-school Patriots ski hat, purchased in the Pats Pro Shop on October 17, three hours before the Pats-Seahawks game ... and a little less than 16 hours before David Ortiz's walkoff in Game 4 of the ALCS. It's like the two-dollar bill of hats. I've been wearing it constantly. When I bring this thing to Vegas, it's going to be like the scene in "Rain Man" when the Babbitt brothers took the Mirage down.
Anyway, our waitress noticed my hat and yelped, "Hey, the Patriots! I'm a huge Patriots fan!"
So we had the whole "Where you from back home?" conversation, followed by her dropping this doozy: "They've been winning me money every week, I've been teasing them with everybody!"
Now ...
Forget that I've never met a female who gambled before. Not a single one. This was like meeting the Loch Ness Monster. And forget that a cute gambling waitress immediately sent the Sports Gal into "Protect my territory/snarling like a coyote" mode. There's a larger point here. It's been so easy to gamble over these past few weeks, even waitresses in West Hollywood are winning money.
You know it's a good betting year when even waitresses in Germany are winning on the NFL.
You're saying to yourself, "Wait a second, you're barely .500 for the season ... how can you make such an outrageous claim?" That's easy. I'm winning money every week. So is everyone else. This has been the least confusing confusing season of all time, if that makes sense. Smart gamblers have been putting their faith in the same five teams every week: Philly, New England, Indy, San Diego and Pittsburgh. Since the World Series ended, those teams are a combined 20-4-1 against the spread and 24-1 overall (and that loss happened because Philly lost at Pittsburgh).
And that 24-1 mark has put the fear of God Shammgod in Vegas. For five straight weeks, you could have teased any combination of those five teams and won money. You know how the three-teamer was always considered a sucker's bet? Not this year. For instance, last Sunday, the Pats and Colts were giving 11 to the Browns and Titans respectively. No way either of those teams were losing. It was impossible. Well, you know what that means? A free 10-point swing for any other game on the slate! And no bookie or casino could stop it.
That's the funny thing about the NFL this season. In retrospect, this isn't parity as much as a class system. There's an upper class (the aforementioned Big Five) and a lower class (everyone else). When the upper class plays the lower class, the upper class wins. When the lower class teams battle each other, anything can happen -- as witnessed by my overall picks record, or the fact that 37 teams are still alive in the NFC playoff race, or this amazing stat: through 13 weeks, three out of every four underdogs that covered spreads also won those games outright (like Tampa, Cincy and Dallas last week, each of whom paid in the neighborhood of 2.5-to-1).
Anyway, our waitress noticed my hat and yelped, "Hey, the Patriots! I'm a huge Patriots fan!"
So we had the whole "Where you from back home?" conversation, followed by her dropping this doozy: "They've been winning me money every week, I've been teasing them with everybody!"
Now ...
Forget that I've never met a female who gambled before. Not a single one. This was like meeting the Loch Ness Monster. And forget that a cute gambling waitress immediately sent the Sports Gal into "Protect my territory/snarling like a coyote" mode. There's a larger point here. It's been so easy to gamble over these past few weeks, even waitresses in West Hollywood are winning money.
You know it's a good betting year when even waitresses in Germany are winning on the NFL.
You're saying to yourself, "Wait a second, you're barely .500 for the season ... how can you make such an outrageous claim?" That's easy. I'm winning money every week. So is everyone else. This has been the least confusing confusing season of all time, if that makes sense. Smart gamblers have been putting their faith in the same five teams every week: Philly, New England, Indy, San Diego and Pittsburgh. Since the World Series ended, those teams are a combined 20-4-1 against the spread and 24-1 overall (and that loss happened because Philly lost at Pittsburgh).
And that 24-1 mark has put the fear of God Shammgod in Vegas. For five straight weeks, you could have teased any combination of those five teams and won money. You know how the three-teamer was always considered a sucker's bet? Not this year. For instance, last Sunday, the Pats and Colts were giving 11 to the Browns and Titans respectively. No way either of those teams were losing. It was impossible. Well, you know what that means? A free 10-point swing for any other game on the slate! And no bookie or casino could stop it.
That's the funny thing about the NFL this season. In retrospect, this isn't parity as much as a class system. There's an upper class (the aforementioned Big Five) and a lower class (everyone else). When the upper class plays the lower class, the upper class wins. When the lower class teams battle each other, anything can happen -- as witnessed by my overall picks record, or the fact that 37 teams are still alive in the NFC playoff race, or this amazing stat: through 13 weeks, three out of every four underdogs that covered spreads also won those games outright (like Tampa, Cincy and Dallas last week, each of whom paid in the neighborhood of 2.5-to-1).
